Down for the Count
by castlefan6
Summary: This is my AU version of events immediately following the end scene of Countdown/Kate in the arms of Josh watching Castle walk away after several near-death experiences and a profession of Love. This story is dedicated to Norman, hope it is close to what you wanted my friend. TONS of Angst, NOTE AU! RC will be with other women, KB will be will other guys Ending is ?
1. Chapter 1

Down for the Count **by Castlefan6**

Authors Note: This is my AU version of events immediately following the end scene of Countdown where Kate is in the arms of Josh watching Castle walk away after several near-death experiences. He believed she had almost confessed she loved him, but she lost consciousness one second too soon. This story is dedicated to Norman, hope it is close to what you wanted my friend. We both had severe anxiety when Beckett just watched as Castle walked away watching her in the arms of Dr. Motorcycle Boy.

I don't own Castle, I use the characters for amusement purposes only

 **Chapter 1**

 **Previously**

The gang is sitting in the break room, drinking beer, laughing good natured, just glad that the events of the day had unfolded as they had.

"You should have seen his face, he turns to me, then grabs the wires, all of them and just yanks" Kate exclaims

"All of them?" Ryan asks with almost hero look on his face

"I figured one of them had to be the right one, besides we were out of options" Rick smiles

"You know the Mayor wants to give you two a medal, I didn't have the heart to tell him you had no idea of what you were doing" Montgomery laughs

"Captains right, you two don't know how lucky you really are" Espo sighs

"Actually, (Rick gazes deep into Kate's eyes), I do Espo"

Castle and Beckett step outside to give Special Agent Fallon the final debrief before he goes back to DHS, and as he walks away, Castle sighs "Been a hell of a day, ugh,"

Hell, of a day Beckett responds"

Rick is smiling till he notices movement coming towards them,

"Think I'll head home, get some rest, Good Bye Beckett"

A puzzled look comes on Kates face till she feels Josh's arms around her, she looks over his shoulder to see a very despondent Castle stare at the ceiling as he waits for the doors to close. (We go AU from this point)

"Josh, what the hell are you doing here, I told you I would call you when we had things under control and I could come home."

"It looked like you had things under control from my vantage point, all but that writer tag along still poking his nose and worming his way into our lives"

"Why must you start every conversation with a slam on my partner, who by the way saved your Ass and many more people than the number of patients in the entire hospital today, we just finished debriefing DHS and you shouldn't have come here."

"Get serious Kate, the writer saving more lives than a surgeon, what drugs do they have you on?" "I just thought we could spend some time together, I gave up the trip for you the least you could do****"

"Oh, so because you gave up a trip for Doctors without borders for me, I am supposed to fawn at your feet and spread my legs for a thank you fuck, before you fall asleep and pass gas like you usually do?

"I get it, you think your job is more important than mine and everyone should hail the conquering hero walking to the precinct to mark his territory like a dog in heat". Kate interrupts

"Kate, I never said anything like that, and besides why do you have to defend the writer every time I point out that he is not a real partner'? Josh barks back

"Josh do I come into your operating rooms and rate your nurses, residents, or other doctors? No, because I am not one, just like you're not a cop and have no idea what happened today, but you are quick to take jabs at Rick? Why is that?"

"He is more a Real Partner than any I have ever had who were true cops, today alone he saved my life twice, and I won't have you stand there and degrade him."

Kate's mind flashes back to the freezer and how if she could have held on for just a second longer she would have finally told Rick how she felt.

She remembers his face, his embrace and his joy when the bomb was disarmed with zero seconds on the clock, and she remembers as they stood in front of the bomb her thoughts were all on Rick.

Her regrets were that she hadn't told hm how she felt, but she felt gratitude that if she were about to be blown to smithereens, at least the last face she would see, the last hand she would hold would be of the man she loved, Rick Castle.

Josh had been talking but at this point Kate had heard all she needed, "Josh, (babble babble babble) Josh, Shut up so I can tell you something" Finally the God of Surgeons had shut his trap, "You should go to that foreign assignment, in fact you should go anywhere but near me, we are through, finished, done! We both know this hasn't been working for a long time, and I can't take your High School Behavior, Good Luck Josh, as she has motioned for L.T. the huge patrol officer to escort him off the grounds

"You'll be sorry Kate, he is going to use you for a quick romp and then dump you like all the rest, I thought you were smarter, but I guess deep inside you are nothing but a groupie like those getting their chest signed."

"Go save the world Josh, I am sure there is some first year Med Student you can use your BS to get into her pants like you have been with your receptionist, you are a cheating bastard, now get out of here before I send you to the hospital for treatment rather than work."

 **Outside the 12** **th** **Precinct**

 **30 minutes later**

Rick is still walking through the park, no apparent course or destination, but if he stopped the cold would return and seep deep in his bones. At least walking beat the alternative, staying at the 12th watching Kate and Boy Wonder go all ga ga over each other. The only other alternative would be almost as bad, returning to the Loft and having to explain today's activities via Skype with Mother and Alexis.

One thing is certain, if today's life altering, near death experiences didn't provide her the certainty and courage to confess her feelings for him as she was about to do, he was almost certain she was going to say love him when she passed out, then nothing would, and he needed to find a plan to stop putting himself and his heart out there to be trampled,

Finally the weariness of the day begins to catch up and Rick hails a cab to the loft, to continue planning alternate courses to keep from getting chewed up and spit out, My God, Kate was a fucking detective, you think she could pick up how much he loved her by the clues, the coffees, the little gifts, the bear claws, providing shelter for her when she was homeless, guess NYPD's greatest detective has got a block when it comes to me he thinks.

 **Castles Loft**

 **8:00 PM Same Day**

Finally, he is home, he cranks the heat up full blast, and defers the cold beer for a Hot Chocolate. Perfect timing as Alexis face comes up on the Skype screen, "Hi Dad, are you OK? You look like hell."

"Yes pumpkin, I am fine just had an extended stay in a cool place that has me still feeling a chill, how are things with you and Grams?

"We're all good, just wondering why you made us come out here, and Dad I know it was serious, I won't ask what, but can we come home in the morning.

"That would work out great Pumpkin, and thanks for not pushing for details I can't disclose. Maybe you could teach your Grandmother that trait. I'm going to head to the sauna, and whirlpool to let the heat bake in and then turn in, I love you and I'll see you tomorrow"

"Good Night Dad"

Good Night Sweetie,"

Rick finishes off the Hot Chocolate and heads for his Sauna and aaahhhh yes there it was Heat. Finally, he began to feel the chill leave his body, He had to be careful when he first installed it, he almost fell asleep which could have serious impacts.

At the first twinge of sleepiness, Rick moves over to his jacuzzi tub, and again turns the heat on high and bubbles on medium. He finished off with a hot shower and the electric blanket turned up and he was ready for bed, at least his body was, his brain was working overtime.

He had said Good Bye today at the precinct, rather than his normal Good Night, or Tomorrow, so was he already willing himself out of a situation that was sure to cause him additional pain? It was strange and disheartening that there was no acknowledgement back from Beckett. Perhaps she would be happier with Rick gone, less stress with DR. MB

Rick's mind flashes back to the freezer and how if she could have held on for just a second longer she would have finally told him how she felt.

He remembers her face, her embrace and his joy when the bomb was disarmed with zero seconds on the clock, and he remembers as they stood in front of the bomb his thoughts were all on Kate.

His regrets were that he hadn't told her how he felt, but he felt gratitude that if they were about to be blown to smithereens, at least the last face he would see, the last hand he would hold would be of the woman he loved, Kate Beckett.

He still wasn't sure of his next course of action yet, but one thing he did know he had to stay away from her for merely self-preservation. The heart wants what the heart wants, but what does it do when what it wants could care less about it?

Short term, for the next couple of days he could always blame writing deadlines, but he needed a plan to break from the 12th, from Kate before he completely lost his mind.

A/N We are going to stop here, I had severe problems with Rick being super hero for 45 of the 47 minutes of the episode, then have him walk away so sad, when Kate fell into the arms of Josh. I could have lived with that IF she had not almost confessed her love for him in the freezer, mixed signals and no communication again!

Norman this one's for you, hope we do it justice.


	2. Chapter 2

Down for the Count **by Castlefan6**

Authors Note: This is my AU version of events immediately following the end scene of Countdown where Kate is in the arms of Josh watching Castle walk away after several near-death experiences. He believed she had almost confessed she loved him, but she lost consciousness one second too soon. This story is dedicated to Norman, hope it is close to what you wanted my friend. We both had severe anxiety when Beckett just watched as Castle walked away watching her in the arms of Dr. Motorcycle Boy.

I don't own Castle, I use the characters for amusement purposes only

 **Chapter 2**

 **Previously**

One thing is certain, if today's life altering, near death experiences didn't provide her the certainty and courage to confess her feelings for him as she was about to do, he was almost certain she was going to say love him when she passed out, then nothing would, and he needed to find a plan to stop putting himself and his heart out there to be trampled,

 **12** **th** **Precinct**

 **Same Day**

Kate is reeling from what just happened, did she just air her entire personal relationship in front of the entire Bull Pen? She replays the party, the good-natured kidding, debriefing Fallon who wasn't the douche she first thought, and then her mind freezes on the sad look on Rick's face as he is in the elevator, staring away from her and Josh.

The look on Rick's face was so sad, she had never seen him look so despondent in all the time they had worked together. Then panic, did she tell Rick how much she loved him in the freezer, or is that just part of recovering from the hypothermia?

His reaction of seeing Josh and her would make sense now, since they had faced death hand in hand more than 3 times in the last 72 hours and if she had told him how she felt he would be crushed.

Grabbing her purse and coat, she shuts her computer off, and heads toward the elevator, only to be summoned.  
"Detective Beckett, a word before you leave, my office now," booms Captain Montgomery.

This is the last thing she needs today, all she wants to do is go home, soak in the hottest bath she can draw, get dressed in old warm clothes and crawl under the blankets. She would need to gather the few articles Josh left in her apartment and leave them at the guard desk of her building, but that could wait till tomorrow.

"You wanted to see me sir" she says tiredly as she enters the Captain's office

"Beckett, I know you and your team have been running full blast for the last 3 weeks, so I don't want to see you in this precinct for one week, Is that clear?"

"But sir, I am fine I don't need any time off sir, I'm sure**"

"Detective, it wasn't a request, it was an order. I don't give a rat's ass about your love life, BUT when you bring your breakups into my house, it makes it my business"

"Take the week Kate, get your head straight, and you might even want to re-examine your priories in men who REALLY care about you. Dismissed," he grouched leaving no room for debate

"Sir, Thank You Sir, I'll see you in a week"

The dress down by the Captain had not improved her mood one bit, who the hell did he think he was advising her about the men in her love life, then as she thought, was it that apparent to everyone but her?

 **Beckett's Apartment**

 **8:45 PM Same Day**

She made her way home and didn't even stop to check her mail, as she entered her apartment, she felt the presence of someone in the room.

Drawing her gun, she was back in Detective mode in a flash, and proceeded to clear the rooms. When she got to her bedroom, there he was, lying on the bed as if he owned the place, it was Josh acting as if they were a couple at the end of a normal day.

"If you value your manhood you have three seconds to get your ass off my bed" she snarled with her gun pointed directly at the groin area of Josh.

"Oh, come on Kate, you know you don't mean that, so we had a fight that's wh**"

"1, 2" Kate starts counting interrupting Josh as she clears the chamber pushing a bullet into the firing area, Josh springs from the bed

"Jesus Kate, you can't be serious, you can't have me arrested for breaking and entering because I have a key"

"You took the spare key from where I told you it was hidden in case of an emergency, Josh, not so you could help yourself to my apartment when I wasn't home, especially after we broke up."

"That's Home Invasion Asshole, and yes I can have you arrested for that, if I don't shoot you thinking I came home and found a burglar"

Josh's face turns white and he looses some of the cockiness he has displayed, "I know you weren't serious about breaking up with me, so why**"

"For an intelligent man, a Doctor no less, how dumb can you be? Of course, I was serious, and now I'm certain and wish I'd never met your sorry ass."

"Get those two shirts and your shaving kit and get out, oh and leave the key on the counter, the locks are being changed tomorrow. Josh, (long pause) **IF** I ever see you near my apartment again, I will blow your ass away, now do you get the message?

Josh does as he is told, and throws over his shoulder as he nears the door, "I always knew you were screwing Castle, now you proved it"

Kate remains quiet not willing to invest anymore energy in this relationship, as the door slams shut she engages the double lock. She presses the intercom for security and informs them to remove Dr. Davidson's name from her approved guest list, and to have the locks changed tomorrow morning.

Finally, she can get that hot bath she has longed for since she got out of the freezer with Castle, as her thoughts replay how sweet and kind he had been, trying to keep her warm even offering her his coat. My God what has she done, the man loved her enough to face a certain death from the cold, and she had thrown the Doctor in his face not 4 hours later. What kind of Bitch does that, as she starts to weep, realizing SHE was the reason for that hurt look on Rick's face.

She looked at her phone to see if Rick had sent her a text or had she missed any calls, but all that stood out, was her low battery light flashing. She decided she would text Rick to let him know she was thinking about him, it was a start, she could make this better next week when they were back in the precinct.

" _Hey Rick, hope you finally got warm, still working on it on my side, Montgomery gave us orders to take a week off to recoup so I'll see you then and we can talk. Kate_

She has no idea of the storm she just started in Castle's brain, or the damage that had already been done

 **Castle's Loft**

 **9:30 PM**

Rick had finally begun to feel warm again, so he turned his thermostat back to 84 degrees from the highest setting that it had been on since he had gotten home. Turning on the TV, more out of boredom than anything else he catches the evening news, thankfully there is no mention of the Hell he and Kate had just escaped.

Funny he thought, he and Kate, only when stakes were the highest was he good enough for her. First the Fed, Sorenson, then how could he ever forget the Demming era. She was the Badge Bunny of the year till his true colors showed, along with all of Kate ah natural in pictures she never knew he took. Now the "I save the World" Doctor Motorcycle Boy, so invested in every cause but Kate, wow could she pick them.

The wine, high temperature setting and one of top of the line furnaces has now left the loft a virtual sweat room. As he makes his way to return the settings back to the normal range and kick on the Auto feature he realizes that his phone has been on the counter out of ear range since he got home.

He opens the text app to see he has five texts unread, one from Alexis reminding him to write her the excuse for her absence from school, two form Paula wanting confirmation of some event he would have to look into sooner or later, one from Gina reminding him that he had an outline due to her in one month. The last one catches him by surprise, it's from Kate, can't be called for another body drop so, soon could they?

As he reads Kate's text he felt as cold as he deed in that freezer,

" _Hey Rick, hope you finally got warm, still working on it on my side, Montgomery gave us orders to take a week off to recoup so I'll see you then and we can talk. Kate_

So, she was free for a week with her hero Doctor to reconnect, as he recalls their conversation leaning on the car outside the ambulance;

"So, your boys back"

"Mm-HmmYeah"

"So, what's that mean to you?"

"We have a chance" Words that would forever be seared in Rick's memory, not only the words but the dreamy look on her face like the Doctor had just hung the moon for her. Yeah, he had to get away before he made a complete fool of himself or worse.

He decided that he needed to respond to her text or she would call and he sure as hell was in no mood to talk to her now, so flipping back to her original text he responds,

" _See you in a week" Rc_

Now what he needs is a plan, and quick, well tomorrow would be soon enough as emotion and weariness take over his body and he drifts off to a fitful sleep.

A/N This is a good place to stop. I always wondered what kind of show it would have been if Kate and Rick actually talked, sure much different. Sub Text and innuendos cause us all to let our minds wander. Please review and comment, Thanks Tim


	3. Chapter 3

Down for the Count **by Castlefan6**

Authors Note: This is my AU version of events immediately following the end scene of Countdown where Kate is in the arms of Josh watching Castle walk away after several near-death experiences. He believed she had almost confessed she loved him, but she lost consciousness one second too soon. This story is dedicated to Norman, hope it is close to what you wanted my friend. We both had severe anxiety when Beckett just watched as Castle walked away watching her in the arms of Dr. Motorcycle Boy.

I don't own Castle, I use the characters for amusement purposes only

 **Chapter 3**

 **Previously**

Rick had finally begun to feel warm again, so he turned his thermostat back to 84 degrees from the highest setting that it had been on since he had gotten home. Turning on the TV, more out of boredom than anything else he catches the evening news, thankfully there is no mention of the Hell he and Kate had just escaped.

Funny he thought, he and Kate, only when stakes were the highest was he good enough for her. First the Fed, Sorenson, then how could he ever forget the Demming era. She was the Badge Bunny of the year till his true colors showed, along with all of Kate ah natural in pictures she never knew he took. Now the "I save the World" Doctor Motorcycle Boy, so invested in every cause but Kate, wow could she pick them.

 **Beckett's Apartment**

 **5:30 AM Next Day**

Kate has spent a very restless night, one would think it was the breakup with her boyfriend, but it was Castle that had her tossing and turning most of the night. She had nightmares about freezing but even in that, it was Rick who sacrificed himself and his coat to save her, as she was going to thank him, she woke, "Damn It, now I'll never know how that would have ended" she muttered.

Dressing for her morning run, she decides to take a small backup piece out of her gun safe, just to be sure Josh didn't try anything, and what the hell, she was running alone at this early hour. Stopping by the desk in the lobby she reiterates that the locks be changed today and that the good Doctor was no longer on her approved list of cleared visitors.

She always followed the same route in her run, but today she decided to run towards Castles Loft rather than the opposite direction as usual, why, she just felt like it. She really had no concerns over his health or if he had nightmares as well, Hell who was she kidding. It took everything in her will power not to call him, just to hear his voice.

He could always calm her in the worst conditions with his deep beautiful voice that oozed of what, Love? NAH, not Love, maybe he cared about her, but Love her no way, she was just a cop and he was Richard Freaking Castle for God's sake.

For just a moment a vision of him walking out of the precinct arm in arm with Gina flashed in her mind, confirming yea he never had feelings for me, just a friendly visit he had said, the next day he is planning on stuupping his ex-wife for the summer. Of course, she dismissed the hateful comments and lies she had told him for the three weeks before, he should have waited longer she thought, and she wasn't changing her mind.

 **Castle's Loft**

 **6:00 AM**

Rick is up and has almost completed the draft he owes Gina in a month, figuring if he gets that off his to do list, his plans would not be hampered with the nag, nag, nag, of his ex-wife and publisher. He had an epiphany last evening and after a series of texts with the Producers of the Nikki Heat movie he would be leaving this evening for a week in Los Angeles to do a set visit.

His progress also brought a dilemma to him as well, the ending of the book, or is it the series? Does he really have the heart to keep writing about a female super cop who he has described as extraordinary to the world? He has the material, even if he never sets foot in another police station anywhere in his life, does he have the drive or desire.

It's times like this that he is thankful for his team of attorneys who negotiate his contracts, he retains control of if or when a series continues or ends regardless of what Black Pawn thinks, the only obligation is he must provide one book after giving notice that he his severing the contract.

He has just returned to his desk with fresh coffee when his phone rings, glancing down, he sees the picture of his Agent, Paula Haas.

"Ricky, why do I have to hear from the studio that you are making a visit, and when did this come about? I thought we had an agreement th***"

"We do have an agreement Paula, you work for me, and YOU do as I say, NEVER question where I go or why again or you are done, are we crystal clear Ms. Haas."

Paula thinks geez he's really pissed about something, a lot more going on than her questioning his decision. "Rick I'm sorry and we are crystal clear, it was just I got this email with your itinerary and I was taken by surprise." "Do you need me to confirm it or have you replied yet?"

"Call Maurice and be sure they have my suite, oh, and Paula, be sure the tickets are NON-Stop and First Class, I swear if I fly on one more of your cattle cars I will hurt you for sure."

"Ricky that was one time and you said to take anything to get you home, besides you already do hurt me, every day" she fades and says sadly

"What do you mean I hurt you everyday Paula, I think I treat you well except when, **

"When I have to see you with other women giving them what I want Rick, I told you I can live without you being in love with me, but for Christ Sakes am I so unattractive I can't even get a quickie in bed"

"Paula, we've talked about this, and after Gina, no sex with ANYONE that I work with, we had one night, it was great but that was years ago.

"I'm not that guy anymore, besides you're selling yourself short. You're beautiful have a great body and Jerry from the Ad Agency would probably marry you today he is so in love with you."

"You really think so Rick,"

"What about Jerry?"

"Hell No, do you really think I have a great body?"

"Yes, and you need to start separating sex from love, they are not necessarily inclusive, you could be in love with someone and never even have had a kiss,"

"You mean like you and Kate?" "Oh, come on Rick, we all see the hurt you're going through, I Love You Ricky, and I'm not a prostitute but if I could Fuck Kate Beckett out of your brains I would do it 7 days a week."

"You talk about me selling myself short? Ricky please get a grip, do something I can't stand to see you like this, I do love you in my own way you know."

"I am Paula, why do you think I am suddenly leaving for L.A, and for the record if things were different, I'd relive that one night all over again, one of my top 5" Rick says as he smiles remembering a steamy night in Paris years ago.

"I'll set things up and text you the details, and Rick, have some fun out there, or if I have to translate, Get Laid, more than once" Paula laughs as she hangs up the phone

Rick hangs up the phone, questioning himself should he be depressed because others have spotted Beckett's hold over him, or flattered that an attractive woman like Paula would join him in bed anytime he desired.

 **Castle's Loft**

 **9:00 AM**

Rick has just finished the last revision for the new book he owes Gina in one month, he's never been this far ahead of any deadline in his life, the door opens and in rushes the two redheads.

"Dad, Dad, Wow it's so good to get home, we were so worried, about you, about all of you back here, everyone is still OK, Right?" Alexis rushes out in one breath.

"Yes, pumpkin everyone here is fine, slow down the danger's over and it's back to life as always," "Oh, and good news for you, Marlowe Prep had a boiler explode, and school is excused till next Monday, so you still have your perfect attendance."

"Darling, why is your suitcase out and half packed are you going somewhere?" Martha asked

"Mother so observant," Rick smiles and continues "The producers of Heat Wave have hit a few snags and they want me on set for a week to see if I can help work out the wrinkles, I leave tonight."

"What about Detective Beckett Dad?

"What about her sweetie? Captain Montgomery gave everyone a week off and her boyfriend came back from his trip so I'm sure she has plenty to do." He says trying hard to hide the sadness

"I'm sorry Dad, I know you like her, sometimes things just don't work the way you want them to"

"Hey how did you get so grown up there, you're my little girl and will be till you are 30"

"Dad, I'm serious, maybe you can meet someone nice out in L.A. and have some fun" Alexis says sweetly

"Sure, honey you never know, we'll see."

"Richard, I think Alexis has a great idea Darling, if you want I can call some of my friends, **"

"Mother please you remember the train wreck the last time you fixed me up,"

"Train wreck? Darling if I remember correctly you married Gina, did you not?"

Rick is now officially and totally depressed; his daughter and Mother are giving him dating advice.

Well my contact information and flights are on the fridge, if you need to get in touch and my cell isn't working have Paula call the producers for emergencies. I'll be back in a week so Alexis you are in charge, and Mother, I have already hidden the good stuff, don't bother looking,"

"Honestly Richard, why must you be so crude. I never raised you that way"

The remainder of the morning goes by quickly and soon it was time for Rick to leave for the airport. "Pumpkin, I'm leaving I love you, I'll see you in a week,"

"Bye Dad, and please at least try to meet someone and have some fun, Love you too."

 **Beckett's Apartment**

 **12:30 PM**

Kate is sitting with her feet up on the coffee table reading Castle's third Storm book for the umpteenth time when he phone rings with Lanie's ring tone.

Might as well get this over with Kate thinks, "Hey Lanie, what's up?"

"I think you know more of what's up than I do, why do I have to find out thru third parties that you finally got wise and dumped pretty boy, hopefully you didn't kill everything with Castle in the process" Lanie accuses

"Lanie, really it just happened, it was at the end of the case, all I wanted to do was get out of there, Montgomery called me in and banned me from the precinct for a week, and all I wanted to do was just get warm." Kate pled

"Yea Javi gave me the blow by blow with you and your Doctor, not pretty I take it."

"Tell Javi to keep his big mouth shut or he will be back in traffic within the month" Kate spews,

"In fact, WHO the hell gave you the right to criticize and discuss my personal business, Lanie? The last I looked we were friends, you aren't the fucking Dorm Mom and We're not still in college where you started this shit"

"I don't need someone to tell me who to date and who not too. How is your own love life going Lanie? Stick to keeping that blabber mouthed boyfriend of yours quiet and out of my sight"

Lannie has tried to interrupt the conversation several times, but chose to ride it out,

"Are you done now Detective?" she asks coldly.

"About talking about my personal life and how everyone thinks they have the right to offer advice? Yes, Yes Doctor I am."

"Good Bye Detective", the line goes dead

Great in two days she has hurt the man she thinks she loves, broken up with the Asshole that caused the hurt, and now had a fight with her best friend from college days, Not been a good couple of days.

Lanie will get over it she thinks, soon as I am back at the station I'll make it right with her and Rick, after all she was in the right and they were wrong to question her.

A/N See the pattern forming, same one I saw on the TV Show, Kate was slow if ever accepting responsibility for being wrong or hurtful. Yes, I was hard on Lanie, but she was a bully allowed to overstep in conversations throughout the series. Love Tamala, Lannie not so much. Just my opinion.


	4. Chapter 4

Down for the Count **by Castlefan6**

Authors Note: This is my AU version of events immediately following the end scene of Countdown where Kate is in the arms of Josh watching Castle walk away after several near-death experiences. He believed she had almost confessed she loved him, but she lost consciousness one second too soon. This story is dedicated to Norman, hope it is close to what you wanted my friend. We both had severe anxiety when Beckett just watched as Castle walked away watching her in the arms of Dr. Motorcycle Boy.

I don't own Castle, I use the characters for amusement purposes only

A/N I addressed the review via PM BUT I designed KB to go OOC to have the argument in public, if that didn't happen Montgomery's lines would not have made sense when he sent her home

To the guest who was upset about this being a Beckett Bashing, Big Difference in holding one accountable for actions than bashing, and you can report anything I write. You are welcome back when you are mature enough to leave respectful reviews.

 **Chapter 4**

 **A/N**

 **Response to a review about RC going to LA to have sex with bimbos**

Not sure where you read Sex with bimbos, Rick's still on a plane at this point in time, appreciate your review and time, but this is not going to be an easy reunion for Kate and Rick, there is Angst and loads of it, if you are done, Thanks for trying it

 **Previously**

"Yea Javi gave me the blow by blow with you and your Doctor, not pretty I take it."

"Tell Javi to keep his big mouth shut or he will be back in traffic within the month" Kate spews,

"In fact, WHO the hell gave you the right to criticize and discuss my personal business, Lanie? The last I looked we were friends, you aren't the fucking Dorm Mom and We're not still in college where you started this shit"

"I don't need someone to tell me who to date and who not too. How is your own love life going Lanie? Stick to keeping that blabber mouthed boyfriend of yours quiet and out of my sight"

 **JFK Airport**

 **4:40 PM Same Day**

Rick leans back in his first-class seat and takes in the sites. He was sure the flight crew working the flight had worked a recent flight he was on. A beautiful blonde, in her mid-30's with a body that she could show off in a men's magazine walked up the first-class section asking if anyone wanted anything to drink, until she got to his seat. She quietly put down 4 bottles of Ricks favorite single malt (don't call it Scotch) whiskey with a glass of ice.

"Nice to have you back with us Mr. Rogers, anything else I can get you? "Thank You" (as he stared at her chest, then caught the name tag just seconds short of being classified a pervert), Jacinda. How have you been?"

"I've been well Rick, that's what you asked us to call you on our trip home from London, may I still call you that?"

"Of course,". You'll have to forgive me, I remember the flight, but **

Jacinda breaks out in deep laugh, "My friend and I was searching for a table to have lunch before boarding the plane, the airport was a zoo and you shared your table with Courtney and I, then we chatted on the flight home while others slept. By the way how is Alexis and Martha, anyway?"

Just then a beautiful, smaller, African American Flight attendant, walks up, "Welcome back Rick, remember me, I'm Courtney"

"Now I do, how are your Courtney."

"You were right Courtney, we could have convinced Rick that things happened last time," Jacinda laughs.

"I wanted to bring over your Mile-High Club membership with two stamps on it, one for me, one for Jacinda, but she outranks me and wouldn't let me" Courtney laughs

"Hey, it's a 5-hour flight so if we have time, I would love to chat, you shared with us your occupation, and I'd love to get an autograph for my niece, if you wouldn't mind, we will keep in on the DL (Down Low)" Courtney promises

"I'd like that, always appreciate the fans, so I would love to, Thanks for asking" Rick smiles

Jacinda just shoots him a sweet look that would melt most men, God was she beautiful, maybe Paula was right, just get out there and start riding the bike again, Rick thinks as he returns the smile.

 **Beckett's Apartment**

 **6:30 PM Same Day**

Kate has tried everything since the call from Lanie ended in disaster to get her mind off Rick, Josh, the fight, and Lanie butting in, but the more she thinks, the more unsettled she becomes. Ricks face, depicting utter agony refusing to look anyway but up as he left the precinct, just will not stop playing over and over in her mind.

She retrieves her phone and types out a quick text,

" _Hey, finally got warm, hope you did too, call me if you're not doing anything KB" 6:30 PM timestamp_

" _I'm sorry we got interrupted at the station when we were talking, give me a call KB" 7:01 PM timestamp_

 _Rick, I know you were upset, I didn't ask him to come, and I'm sorry it upset you, please call me KB" 8:14 PM timestamp_

" _Rick, Are you OK? Nothing is wrong with Alexis or Martha is there, I'm worried, please call me OK? KB" 9:01 PM timestamp_

Kate had alternated from pacing to reading the same 10 pages in Patterson's book, of which she couldn't tell you a thing she read, by 9:30 PM she is in a cab and on her way to Castle's Loft.

Eduardo waves and smiles as always when he sees her, and she really doesn't begin to second guess herself till she's just outside the Loft, Oh God, what if he's entertaining and doesn't want to be disturbed, she is such an idiot, of course he is stuuucking some chic, she wavers back and forth until she hears a voice behind her,

"Detective Beckett, Can I help You?" Alexis asks politely as she opens the loft and walks in past Kate.

"Hi Alexis, I'm sorry to bother you but I've been texting your father for over 3 hours, without any answers, and no matter how mad he is at me he always gives some response, I just got worried"

"He's probably still in the air" Alexis responds

"I'm sorry, in the air? Where did he go?" Kate asks totally shocked

"Won't you come in Detective and have some coffee, tea, or water? I'm sure you don't want to have this conversation in the hallway, do you?"

Kate shakes her head no and follows the young lady into the loft and to the counter.

"Is water OK Detective? Grams isn't home, and I'm not supposed to touch the alcohol, especially in front of a cop" she laughs

"Good Call, and water is fine Alexis Thank You," Kate smiles

As soon as Kate has taken her first sip, the mood changes, and quickly.

"Detective, I don't know what you or your boyfriend did to my Dad, but he was home alone, and sounded so down, Grams and I came home the very next morning rather than spend the day in the Hamptons. All he would say was that everything was good, the danger had passed"

"Then he told me he was going to the Nikki Heat film site for a week, he said the producers called, but I talked to Paula and she said he arranged it right after he got home from the precinct and whatever the threat he worked on with you was stopped."

"Alexis, I can't tell you about that, but it was very stressful to us all, and your Dad was a hero, he saved a lot of lives, including mine" Kate says sincerely,

"It wasn't the incident that was bothering him, even Paula talked to him and she agreed, something happened at the precinct that just sent him into a tailspin." "Paula said when she said something about you and he jumped all down her throat, so I thought you two had another disagreement about something stupid like you always do." Alexis slings, she's not holding back tonight

"Alexis, I know your Dad wasn't happy to see Josh come to the precinct when we were talking, he left rather abruptly, and I was going to call him but things got crazy and so I just sent him a text. He seemed like himself or maybe I just assumed he was OK."

Alexis is beginning to read between the lines now, "Detective do you mind if I read the text you sent and his reply?"

Kate looks rather sheepish, being interrogated by a teenager but finds the text and response and shows it to Alexis.

Alexis reads, then turns her nose up a bit, "Detective you've worked with my Dad for almost 3 years now, and you thought this response, see you in a week was a normal response?" "You just basically told him to go screw off for a week while you got your groove on with Medicine Man, and his response explains why he is California and not here, he did what he always does for you, Step Aside"

"Alexis, I don't think you know the wh**"

"Bull Shit Detective!" Alexis interrupts. "I'm his daughter, I know when he hurts, and I now know why, I asked him about you when he told me he was leaving, he responded that your Boyfriend had come back, and you had the week to rebuild your relationship, I think he quoted you as saying mm'hmm we have a chance. "

"Read your text again Detective, think how Dad would interpret your words, because it sounds to me like you want to be left alone and you would make time for him next week when you returned to the Precinct."

"It appears by this, that you are going to be rebuilding, if that's what it's called in your world now in bed, what else was he supposed to think?"

"No No, Alexis you have to believe me, Josh and I broke up, and I never intended to hurt your Dad, he saved my life three times, and I****"

"You let him walk out of the Precinct while you were in the arms of a man, your boyfriend, to which you are now broken up with, but you never intended to hurt my Dad? Detective I may be young, but even at my age, it's easy to see You Are Fucked Up, and need help.

"I hope my Dad never talks to you again, all you ever do is hurt him, and make him feel worthless, nothing he does will ever be good enough for Super Cop Beckett, no wonder he is depressed."

"Right now, I think it's best you leave" as she begins heading to the door,

"I know my Dad would make me apologize for crude language, which for that I apologize, but I won't apologize for defending him for what appears to be a cold heartless monster, now leave please."

Kate is in shock, she just got her ass handed to her by a teenager who nailed her dead to rights. "I'm sorry Alexis and if you would or can please tell your Dad, I would like a chance to explain and apologize to him as well."

"Yes, I'm sure he's heard them before so many times he could probably recite them with you as you go through the motions." "You may not know the number of times your crude or cutting remarks have hurt him, oh gee it's only Castle, he can take everything, BUT he's not your personal punching bag Detective, when he hurts this family hurts. Good Night as the door is closed in her face.

A/N We'll let the plane fly a bit, stopping this here, Again, Alexis is over mature for her age, I didn't specify since this is AU but for frame of reference figure 14 or 15 would sound about right. Again, this is NOT a Beckett Bash Fest, it is a story in the AU world where I think the writers wrote with Rose Colored glasses for certain characters.


	5. Chapter 5

Down for the Count **by Castlefan6**

Authors Note: This is my AU version of events immediately following the end scene of Countdown where Kate is in the arms of Josh watching Castle walk away after several near-death experiences. He believed she had almost confessed she loved him, but she lost consciousness one second too soon. This story is dedicated to Norman, hope it is close to what you wanted my friend. We both had severe anxiety when Beckett just watched as Castle walked away watching her in the arms of Dr. Motorcycle Boy. _**WARNING: Caskett is NOT a guarantee in this AU story.**_

I don't own Castle, I use the characters for amusement purposes only

 **Chapter 5**

 **Previously**

"You let him walk out of the Precinct while you were in the arms of a man, your boyfriend, to which you are now broken up with, but you never intended to hurt my Dad? Detective I may be young, but even at my age, it's easy to see You Are Fucked Up, and need help.

"I hope my Dad never talks to you again, all you ever do is hurt him, and make him feel worthless, nothing he does will ever be good enough for Super Cop Beckett, no wonder he is depressed."

 **Somewhere between NYC and LAX**

 **7:35 PM Same Day**

Most of the passenger flight UA4737 were asleep already, filled with alcohol and impacted by the different cabin pressure, they were lulled to sleep by the silence of the big roaring machine cutting through the air at over 500 miles per hour. Rick was sitting relaxing when he felt a presence by his side. Courtney had dug out her nieces copy of Heat Wave and brought a sharpie for Rick to sign it with, careful not to allow other passengers to see what was going on,

"What's her name, "Rick asked softly,

Her full name is Elizabeth, but she goes by Beth, so we better use Beth. Courtney replied in a low and sultry voice.

Rick took the pen, and in a few quick motions, had inscribed Beth's book;

 _To Beth,_

 _May your spirts soar as high and free as a Jet Airplane, even on your bad days, and remember that Smiles are free, wear one and pass it along_

 _All the Best,_

 _Rick Castle,_

Courtney took the pen back and read quickly what Rick had wrote, smiled leaned in and Kissed him sweetly. "You are my hero and Beth is still going to freak when I tell her I met you".

Rick smiled, and just said," how you going to prove it," Courtney giggled, and put her phone on the selfie status, and took a few practice shots before she got the one she liked, her leaning her head and Rick leaning back against hers, almost cheek to cheek, both with huge smiles"

Jacinda came up to Rick and whispered, "that was sweet what you did for Courtney, she's had a tough year." "She lost her sister in a car accident on New Year's Eve and has been caring for her sister's daughter without complaint, even working extra shifts.

"Always happy to help, and who can say no to a beautiful woman" Jacinda smiled and said "I am still working but we're at the Four Seasons for 3 days off, maybe we could grab dinner"

Really? Rick says, I'm at the Four Seasons as well, got a set visit and some meetings with the studio,

Jacinda whispers "are they making it into a movie?" all excitedly

"Yes, but it hit some snags and now is going straight to DVD, so that is why I am coming out, that's sweet of you to ask" Rick replies softly.

"Bet you have a couples massage all scheduled with Maurice, don't you" Jacinda laughs

"Not this trip sadly, I am single as a pringle" Rick responded

"Well, that can be remedied quickly Rick, at least for 3 days, but regardless of what Courtney kids about, she is a prude, No not really, but I saw your first" she laughs softly and pats his arm gently. I'll be back soon,

"Can't wait" Rick breathes

 **Beckett's Apartment**

 **1:10 AM**

Kate could not believe how crappy the last two days have been. She had hurt the man she thinks she is in love with, broke up with her boyfriend in front of her boss and co-workers, had a one week vacation forced on her, pissed off her best and perhaps only friend with Lanie, been ignored for hours by Rick without responding to her texts, got her ass handed to her by Rick's teen age daughter when she was concerned about the safety of him and visited the loft, found out Rick had travelled across the country without even a text, called a heartless monster, and turned Alexis completely against her. Quite an accomplishment in Fuck ups for two days, Congrats Kate.!

In desperation she turns on late night TV, and of course it is a re-run of The Bobby Mann show, featuring who else but Rick and Ellie Monroe as his guests. She quickly flips the channel and starts watching an infomercial about knives that could cut through hunks of frozen meat, but she can't stay away, back to view Bobby Mann and she listens to the entire show now.

Why the hell did I even startup with Josh? Why do I keep pushing Rick away, and throwing all the hurtful comments? If I don't want him them why do I get so pissed off when someone like the slut on TV tries to claim him?

Almost like clockwork Kate has just finished that thought when Ellie scoots over, and grabs Rick's hand and you can hear **Check Please** off camera, and it hurts, it hurts deeply to see this, even though she has seen it a hundred times before. Her mind flashes back to the morning after he filmed the show;

" _Good Morning Detective" Rick grinned_

" _Really?"_

" _What?" look of apprehension now on his face_

" _Lose the look of I just got laid Castle"_

And then he confirmed her suspicions, even though she secretly had hoped the hair found on his sports coat was from a more innocent activity.

Kate snaps off the TV Controls and grabs a book, looks at the tittle and throws it down, No Way is she reading A Rose for Ever after tonight, she has had enough reminders. After choosing one from her classic literature section she grabs a pillow and blanket and curls up on the couch, reading till sleep finally comes, for almost an hour, then wide awake again.

Ping comes a noise from the kitchen area, and Kate hopes Rick is finally responding to her texts, she jumps off the couch and grabs her phone, only to see her charger still attached and the battery full light just blinked off. She checks her texts, nothing from Rick, but there is one from Alexis, Oh God now what.

"Detective Beckett, I spoke to Dad when he landed and advised him of your visit, and our conversation. As predicted, this text is to apologize for crude language and un-lady like behavior, even though I told Dad I already did, he was adamant that I send this. Once again, for making you feel unwelcome, for use of crude language and for behavior I know is not to the standard my Dad has raised me to, my sincere apologies. Alexis Castle"

Kate was not sure of what hurt more, knowing that Rick had received her texts and chose not to reply, or that he had gotten her apology third handily, again she had to say sorry for stupid behavior. Alexis confirmed that he had landed, and she had spoken to him, so his phone was on, and working. Oh, What the hell, as she grabs her phone and starts composing a text,

 _ **9-1-1**_

 _Sorry no emergency but I know you would open this if you thought I was in trouble_

 _Rick, I know you talked to Alexis, and also about our conversation, she was not as rude as you might think, she is protecting her Dad, which is totally understandable. I'm sorry I let you leave the station, I'm sorry Josh came in to interrupt, I'm sorry I started with Josh at all to be truthful, and if Alexis didn't tell you he and I are done, anyone in the bull pen can confirm since it happened immediately after you left._

 _It wasn't pretty, but I am sure you really don't want to hear about that, but please know I am so sorry that you were hurt. I keep seeing your face as you were in the elevator before the doors closed, I have never seen you so sad. You are a hero, saving more lives than we care to imagine, and mine at least 3 times, in 2 days, PLEASE know how grateful I am to have you as my partner,_

 _I'm sorry to have to unload all of this in a text, but I know you are angry, hurt, and disappointed in me, and probably trying to find anything not to come back to the station, not to have to hear one more I'm sorry from me, but Rick, Please call me, we need, sorry I need to talk to you about things I can't put on paper yet, PLEASE_

 _Waiting to hear from you,_

 _Kate_

She hits send, then collapses on the couch falling into a troubled sleep.

 **Air Space over LAX Airport**

 **9:22 PM Same Night,**

"Are you serious Rick", Courtney asked, "Beth is going to freak out when she hears this"

"What it's just dinner for the four of us at the Terrace Room, I'll have Maurice set it up, that is if you are free and it won't cause problems with your significant other"

"NO Significant other they both say almost in unison," "This life style is not for everyone Rick, and most guys can't take the insecurity of not having their woman at home for their beck and call" Jacinda replies.

"Or the bastards keep you strung along while they play you for a fool, using your money to wine and dine the other woman" Courtney adds sadly

"I'm sorry, I know a lot of men are pigs, and I really am not the same man as you have read about on page 6 of the New York Times, in fact it has happened to be as well Courtney" Rick says quietly

"Oh Rick, I'm so sorry I know that hurt too well"

"Hey that was a long time ago Courtney and I got my greatest gift in life out of it, my little girl" Rick says with a smile.

"So, are we on for tomorrow say 7:00 PM at the Terrace Room?" Rick asks

"I will be there for sure Rick" Jacinda smiles sweetly

"Make that a yes for Beth and me as well, warning the scream you hear will be that of my niece when she meets you" Courtney laughs

"Well we'll be landing soon, so here is my card and I wrote Courtney's number on the back in case something comes up Rick, we understand you are out here on business" Jacinda say so sweetly.

"Thanks, I can't wait till tomorrow evening ladies, have a good night"

 **LAX Airport**

 **9:59 PM**

The landing at LAX is smooth and Jacinda just winks at Rick as he begins to deplane, "See you tomorrow" she whispers so only he can hear, and Rick smiles.

Rick is in the car furnished by the studio and sets his phone to blue tooth, so he can call Alexis on the ride to the hotel and she picks up on the second ring.

"Hi Dad, are you at the airport, I tracked you on Tracker and it showed you landed 12 minutes early"

"Hi Pumpkin, I'm actually driving to the hotel now"

"DAD you aren't allowed to talk on a cell phone and drive, it's against the law and it's unsafe"

Rick laughs, yes his little girl is not so little anymore and still busy being the adult sometimes, "Pumpkin, I'm talking through the Blue Tooth in the car, my cell is in the center console, I haven't even opened it yet. I wanted to talk to you before it got too late"

"Oh, OK as long as it's safe and you aren't breaking the law, it's a long way to bring you bail money" she laughs "Dad did you say you haven't checked your phone yet?"

"Yes Sweetie, why should I have?"

"Well, no but ah, I, "

"Alexis, what ever it is, just start at the beginning and tell me what happened." Rick sternly said

Alexis explains how she found Beckett outside the loft and their conversation, as well as confessing that she apologized for her behavior and language, but it made her angry how caviler she had been about his feelings, especially after Beckett's words that he had saved her life 3 times.

"I'm sorry Dad, I read the text she sent you, then your reply about see you in a week and I just couldn't hold it back anymore"

"Alexis, I understand the motive, and I appreciate and love you for sticking up for your Dad, BUT, that behavior has or never will be tolerated"

"I know Dad, I apologized before I showed her the door, "

"Alexis?" "Is that the manners you were taught?"

"No Dad, I'll apologize but I'm sending her a text, I don't want to lose my temper if I talk to her and get into more trouble"

"Thanks Pumpkin, no matter what others say or do, we have to hold ourselves to a higher standard, sometimes it's very hard, I know, I wanted to lash out at her more than once, but Honey, I would be lowering my standards if I did"

"Thanks Dad, I'll apologize, go get checked in, and get some rest"

"How did you know I just pulled into the hotel,"

"No noise from the wind driving, you must have the top down of a convertible"

Rick laughs deeply, "Are you sure you don't have a spy cam on me?

"Nope, just know my Dad, I love you Dad, get some rest and call me tomorrow"

"Good night Pumpkin, love you too, don't know my schedule yet but I do have a dinner tomorrow, so either call you before or after, Nite Sweetie"

Four Seasons Hotel

Los Angeles, CA

11:20 PM

Rick checked in, and as always Maurice had every detail covered, his bags were delivered, unpacked, and a complimentary light evening meal with a bottle of his favorite single malt liquor and bucket of ice.

Rick decided to check the phone now that Alexis had confessed, starting with the text about see you in a week, then his response. He quickly flipped through the ones she had sent starting at 6:30 and ending at 9:01, then he deleted the last his phone pinged with a new text form her marked 9-1-1, What the Hell?

A/N Stopping here to address some reviews, Guest Thanks for correcting me, it was Meredith, not Gina, Kbeckettcastle Not following cannon, not sure which direction I take this, may have a scene or two, to Katejames5 Rick was still on the plane at the time you decided I wrote he went to LA and had sex with other bimbos, had not gone that route but thanks for reading this far, sasans, your comment about her outburst in public was my point, guess you missed the line from her captain later, also the accusations of affairs went both ways if you followed the dialogue, planted there for reasons to be revealed. I think I addressed everyone's comments, and as always thanks for your reads, review, and messages. REMEMBER there are time zones before you comment of wrong times, I will try to mark EST, and those not marked consider PCT. WARNING CASKETT IS NOT A GURANTEED ENDING


	6. Chapter 6

Down for the Count **by Castlefan6**

Authors Note: This is my AU version of events immediately following the end scene of Countdown where Kate is in the arms of Josh watching Castle walk away after several near-death experiences. He believed she had almost confessed she loved him, but she lost consciousness one second too soon. This story is dedicated to Norman, hope it is close to what you wanted my friend. We both had severe anxiety when Beckett just watched as Castle walked away watching her in the arms of Dr. Motorcycle Boy. _**WARNING: Caskett is NOT a guarantee in this AU story.**_

I don't own Castle, I use the characters for amusement purposes only

A/N Guest reviewers responses, No Lanie was not one of my favorite characters, Guest 2, I love Caskett, read my previous story, this is from the point of view that didn't make sense to see RC heartbroken to end one episode and then next week pick up as nothing happened, and finally last guest, as Almost near death, so was Kate's Almost profession of love, it's imbedded in the story line

 **Chapter 6**

 **Previously**

Rick decided to check the phone now that Alexis had confessed, starting with the text about see you in a week, then his response. He quickly flipped through the ones she had sent starting at 6:30 and ending at 9:01, then just as he deleted the last one his phone pinged with a new text form her marked 9-1-1, What the Hell?

Rick immediately opens Beckett's 9-1-1 text and begins to read;

 _ **9-1-1**_

 _Sorry no emergency but I know you would open this if you thought I was in trouble_

 _Rick, I know you talked to Alexis, and also about our conversation, she was not as rude as you might think, she is protecting her Dad, which is totally understandable. I'm sorry I let you leave the station, I'm sorry Josh came in to interrupt, I'm sorry I started with Josh at all to be truthful, and if Alexis didn't tell you he and I are done, anyone in the bull pen can confirm since it happened immediately after you left._

 _It wasn't pretty, but I am sure you really don't want to hear about that, but please know I am so sorry that you were hurt. I keep seeing your face as you were in the elevator before the doors closed, I have never seen you so sad. You are a hero, saving more lives than we care to imagine, and mine at least 3 times, in 2 days, PLEASE know how grateful I am to have you as my partner,_

 _I'm sorry to have to unload all of this in a text, but I know you are angry, hurt, and disappointed in me, and probably trying to find anything not to come back to the station, not to have to hear one more I'm sorry from me, but Rick, Please call me, we need, sorry I need to talk to you about things I can't put on paper yet, PLEASE_

 _Waiting to hear from you,_

 _Kate_

Rick doesn't know what to make of this text, once again she is sorry for something, but like always there was no acceptance of responsibility. Not one "This was my fault Rick", and what was this you are a hero crap, when less than 48 hours ago, she was hugging Doctor Wonderful, just hours after almost professing her love, and yes, he was certain that was what she was about to say in the freezer.

Thinking back about all he had been through with her, how he had waited, first Sorenson, then Demming, then out of the blue this Doctor who rode a Harley, all had her heart and her bed. Her response to his request for dinner was "I don't want to be one of your conquests", so she decides to show him just how hot she is by parading not one, not two but three different men in front of him. It's time to grow a pair Rick, what the hell is the matter with you, and Paula was right he had turned into her lap dog to fetch her coffee, well that ends, and ends tonight.

 **Castle's Suite,**

 **Four Seasons 11:54 PM**

Rick is thinking how to respond to Beckett's text, when his cell phone rings from a number he doesn't recognize.

"Rick Castle speaking"

"Hey Rick, it's Jacinda and Courtney we are still wired and are going to the lounge for a drink, would you care to join us?" It's Courtney's voice but he can hear Jacinda guiding her on what to say in the background.

"How could I turn down two beautiful ladies with such a sweet request, meet you there in 5 minutes, is that OK?"

"Perfect Rick see you in a few" Jacinda speaks up

"Good evening Mr. Castle, we have your booth in the back setup, is anyone joining you this evening?" Rick is greeted by a beautiful young lady, dressed fashionably but still was able to show her body lines under the conservative clothing.

"He's with us" he hears as he turns and receives a kiss on the cheek from each lady

"Mr. Castle, may I show these two lovely ladies and you to your booth please?"

"Only if you call me Rick, I know you have to use Mr. when Maurice is here, he's such a stickler, but that makes me feel old, Mandy (he quickly reads her name tag)"

She Laughs, "sure Rick This way ladies, Mr. Cas I mean Rick has his own room when he visits us so just let me know if you have any questions, and please enjoy your stay"

As they walk through the tables, Rick is aware that many eyes are on them, two beautiful women now dressed in casual pant suits, and a lovely young hostess with a body that didn't quit. "Talk about obvious Courtney says out loud as one table is leering, not even trying to hide it,"

"They will be gone shortly, security is on the way to escort then off the premises" Mandy replies, "we don't allow our guests or employees to be harassed in anyway"

Finally, they reach an entire room that could easily fit 50 people with its own private bar, including bar tender awaiting them as one young man hurries over to pull out the chair for Courtney as Rick is doing for Jacinda"

"Thank You Rick, and you sir" Jacinda says to the young man and then faces Rick.

"Wow Rick, this whole room is for you?" Courtney asks

"No, it's for us, I like my privacy and Maurice makes sure there are no paparazzi to insure I can relax when I'm here" Rick smiles

"And you thought we were going to have to wait for a table Courtney, see it pays to have friends like I do," Jacinda kids

The server takes the order for each of the ladies, and "asks your usual Sir?"

"Yes, thanks Brian"

"Rick, I know you are a best-selling author, but just how famous are you?" Courtney is awestruck

"Sweetie, Rick has 34 Best Sellers, and when this one hits the list it will make it 35, and I have every book he has written, even ones I bet he wishes he hadn't" Jacinda smiles

Rick looks at Jacinda with his mouth slightly aghast "Wow Thank you Jacinda I never met anyone who has every book I have had published, are you a glutton for punishment?" He laughs.

Jacinda gently smacks his arm, "Don't you ever make fun of my favorite author buster" and laughs her eyes twinkling as she looks deep into Ricks.

A few rounds later, and Rick realizes he has to be at the studio for meetings, "Ladies you are free to stay as long as you wish, but I have to get a few hours sleep before some meetings tomorrow, so I'm saying good night, and thank you for a wonderful evening" kissing each of the ladies on the cheek.

"If you don't mind Rick give us a moment to settle the bill then would you be so kind to escort us to the elevator?" Jacinda asked, remembering the table of lookers they had to pass coming in (something about her eyes, God get a grip Rick)

The server waives off any attempt at a tip or payment, "Mr. Castle has already covered it, thank you and have a great evening"

Rick stands and offers one arm to each of the ladies, and proudly escorts them back through the public area, the table of jerks is gone, and the crowd has thinned some, but is still pretty busy, as they exit, "Good Night Rick, Ladies, have a great night and come back soon" Mandy smiles sweetly. As they enter the elevator Rick inserts his room card and hits P for Penthouse, Courtney is on the 14th floor and Jacinda is one floor below Rick.

When they reach Courtney's floor she exits, stopping to kiss Rick on the cheek and thanking him for a great evening. When Jacinda's floor is reached, she leans over and kisses Rick softly on the lips, "Good night Rick, thanks for a special night, and please call me when you get back, or we'll see you at 7:00 for dinner."

"Good night Jacinda, sleep well,"

The elevator doors close as Rick smiles, what a nice way to spend an evening, then he remembers Beckett's text. Damn it, if he doesn't answer in some form, he knows she will persist the entire time he is gone, and frankly he is here to forget about the hurt she has caused.

He flips to her 9-1-1 text and hits respond, what he doesn't know is that three thousand miles away, and half a box of tissues on the floor Kate is lying waiting for that bubble to light up,

The message comes up, and he types his response, _"I'm sure you are sorry Beckett, so am I, for so much, I'm busy this week, talk to you next week if I have time Rc"_ then hits send.

 **Beckett's Apartment**

 **3:17 AM Next Morning**

Kate is lying on the couch watching the bubble indicating a response is being written, then the indication Ping sound is heard, she nervously opens Ricks response and begins to sob, crying herself to restless sleep once again.

Finally, at 5:30 AM she gives up trying to sleep, she knows it won't come now so she dresses for her morning run, and heads out towards Castle's Loft, grasping to any shred of hope that she hasn't killed any chance of any kind of relationship with her partner.

As she runs, she replays her text to Castle in her mind, and the simple short reply that came back. She had been as sincere as she could have been, even telling Rick that she and Josh were no more an item, what did he want from her? She even downplayed the blowup between Alexis and herself. She apologized for him being hurt, and she knew he was crushed, but why?

Not gaining any clarity from her text she skipped to his short, polite, and curt answer. "I'm sure you are sorry" did that mean he believed her or was it a slap at all the other times she should have or did reluctantly say it? Thinking back now, how many times she had said it, but how many time should she have apologized. Alexis words coming back to haunt her about Castle being used for her verbal punching bag, God she was right.

Using Beckett as her name rather than Kate sent a clear message, he was dealing with Detective now, not his partner or friend. He was really pissed, hurt or both, "Oh my God what have I done, why am I so Stupid to hurt this man, all he as ever done is help me," Kate mutters half to herself half aloud.

"So, am I, for so much" What was Rick sorry for, for working with her? Helping her? Always being there when she needed him but never for anything but her needs? My God, now it is coming into focus just how one sided this relationship, if it could even be called that really was. Was he sorry for becoming her partner, for shelling out $100 Grand to find her mother's killer, for providing a home for her when hers was destroyed, for all the gifts, autographed pictures, for rescuing her father's watch and paying to have it repaired?

When she was showered after her run she decided to map out on a pad all the shortcoming that she really should make amends for. She listed those that had popped into her head and she could go on and on, it became very apparent that she owed Rick far more than an apology, if he would be her friend or have anything to do with her at all.

Just as she is about to address the last part of his text, "talk to you next week if I have time" her phone rings from an unlikely source. "What do you want Esposito?" she barks into the phone

"Kate don't hang up, hey I just called to say I'm sorry for broadcasting your business, I should have kept my mouth shut, even to Lanie, but I didn't, and I was wrong, I'm truly sorry Kate."

"Well, that's two of us Javi, I think I lost Castle even as a friend, Lanie isn't speaking to me, Alexis hates me and even Montgomery is pissed at me, so it hasn't been a good week so far for me either"

"Lanie and I had the Mother of all fights after you and she got into it, this is the worse it has ever been"

"Javi you guys will be OK, just give it a day or so,"

"Not this time Kate, I ended it. You're not going to want to hear what I had to say so let's just leave it at that and say the relationship is history."

"What do you mean Javi, if you got something to say just come out and say it"

"Kate, you will get pissed off and the way things are going, neither of us can afford to lose any more friends"

"Javi, tell me what's on your mind damn it, now I am pissed, why won't I like something you said to Lanie?"

"I told her that she was pushing too hard, and that I wouldn't be like Castle is to you, always there for you no matter how shitty you treat him or put him down, he is loyal like a puppy and now is getting kicked like one. I wouldn't be her whipping boy and take her bull shit anymore, especially when other people got hurt."

Kate is silent for a few minutes, and Javi finally says softly "I told you that you wouldn't like it"

"Javi, have I really been that bad, done all those things to Castle, and treated him like a fetch dog for coffee and whatever my needs were at that moment?"

"Kate, do you want the real answer, the truth, or the answer that will make you feel better about yourself, don't ask for something you don't want to hear"

"Wow Javi, I think I know what you're going to say, but I want the truth, no filters"

"Kate are you sure, because once this is said I can't take it back"

"Javi, The truth, NOW!"

"Kate you have constantly put him down, in a way that kills a guy. Just when Castle thinks he's earned a spot at your table, along comes a dude to court you and bed you. Think about it, Sorenson, Demming, and then the Doctor"

"You tell Castle you don't want to be a conquest, yet you parade three men on three different occasions, with him fully aware that they were getting the goods, you made that quite clear. "

"For Christ Sakes Kate 4 hours after Castle almost froze to death because he only wore half his jacket, the other half was wrapped around you, you let the Doctor come in and begin the grabbing and hugging as you watched him walk away."

"Is that enough or do you need more to refresh your memory," Javi slows to hear Kate sobbing deeply on the other end, "Damn it Kate I told you that you wouldn't like it, now what do I do?"

"Javi," Kate gets out thru sobs, "you keep reminding me every time I do something to hurt Rick, IF I can even get him back to the station"

"What do you mean If you can get him back, Kate, he loves this gig, nothing he would do that he would leave us"

"Javi, he's in Los Angeles now, so I'm not so sure if he will ever come back, I have really fucked up this time. I texted him telling him how sorry I was, and I got a one-line answer, he will talk t me next week if he has time.

"Damn Kate, you need to fix this, I think you are right, maybe Castle has had enough and just going to do something else now." "You got to get him to talk to you and make this right, or our team is going to be Fucked!

"Oh, and Javi, I'm sorry about you and Lanie, that was probably my fault too"

"No way Kate, this had been coming for a while, she gets all bossy and domineering until you call her on it, she's good for a while then back at it, this time she took it too far and now I know why, she wanted me to put a ring on her so I couldn't walk away like Castle"

"Let me know if I can help you but we got to do something Kate, I gotta go, Captain is back, I'll holler at ya."

A/N Good place to stop, remember this is AU not cannon, this is a story of hurt, miss-communications, trust and finally working to right the wrong to someone you have damaged the relationship with to come back into your life, sometimes it works, sometimes you miss your chance, so not sure what the end will be, the characters will tell me as I write.


	7. Chapter 7

Down for the Count **by Castlefan6**

Authors Note: This is my AU version of events immediately following the end scene of Countdown where Kate is in the arms of Josh watching Castle walk away after several near-death experiences. He believed she had almost confessed she loved him, but she lost consciousness one second too soon. This story is dedicated to Norman, hope it is close to what you wanted my friend. We both had severe anxiety when Beckett just watched as Castle walked away watching her in the arms of Dr. Motorcycle Boy. _**WARNING: Caskett is NOT a guarantee in this AU story.**_

I don't own Castle, I use the characters for amusement purposes only

 **Chapter 7**

 **Previously**

Thinking back about all he had been through with her, how he had waited, first Sorenson, then Demming, then out of the blue this Doctor who rode a Harley, all had her heart and her bed. Her response to his request for dinner was "I don't want to be one of your conquests", so she decides to show him just how hot she is by parading not one, not two but three different men in front of him. It's time to grow a pair Rick, what the hell is the matter with you, and Paula was right he had turned into her lap dog to fetch her coffee, well that ends, and ends tonight.

Beckett's Apartment

7:30 AM EST Same Day

Kate was still a bit shocked to hear it vocalized what her friends had thought of her treatment of Castle, especially when Javi felt as strong as he did to break it off with Lanie rather than become another Castle lap dog as he put it.

The only way to ask for forgiveness is to be fully aware of what you've done, to whom, Kate had read that in some of her fathers' material from AA, but she was stressed at how to figure that out. Then it hit her, treat it like a crime scene, put a timeline down and as memories come back record them and then when she was finished, she would approach Rick begging forgiveness.

Kate was also worried about mending her relationship with Lanie, it seems she has a lot of people to ask forgiveness of. "Well, Lanie's is smaller so I'll tackle that first" she thinks to herself, but Lanie could be as if not more stubborn than she was.

She also knew that Lanie had blocked her calls, and texts since the last several attempts had come back with an error message. Well that leaves me only two choices, approach her at her place which is never good with Lanie, dropping by unannounced, or she could write a letter she thought. Letter it was.

She prepped her Coffee, and all her writing supplies and then began to outline what she needed to ask for forgiveness. Oddly some of the things stretched all the way back to the days when they were in College together, and she didn't call her out on behavior that hurt.

The letter was going to be a two-sided coin, explaining everything that Lanie had done to invoke the outburst that finally erupted, and also for all the things she remembered when she was cross or unkind to Lanie. "God this is going to take forever" she thought, "Yeah but what else have you got to do, none of the people you had in your life last week wants to associate with you" was her conscience's response immediately. Tough or not she had to do this, and perhaps it might be a way to reach Rick as well, it was going to take a great deal of effort, and honesty.

" _Dear Lanie,_

 _I know you never thought you would get a letter from me, especially about this. I'm not saying I'm sorry for our argument the other day, BUT I am begging you to forgive me for that outburst, that I know hurt you deeply. Well that and many other things since we met as well._

 _I am trying very hard to be open and honest, I know Kate Beckett being open with anyone, big shock, but please I ask you to read this letter with an open mind, and a forgiving heart, because as bad as I fucked up our relationship, I have done worse with one that could cost me the love of my life._

 _Remember back in college when I first met you after transferring from Stanford, you were the first person I told about my Mom, and from that day you have never been shy about voicing your opinions, loudly, and inappropriately at times, and for that_ _ **I forgive you**_ _._

 _You acted like a guardian to me, self-appointed, and I know that it was because you loved me, but Lanes, think about some of the things you have said to me, as I say_ _ **I forgive you**_ _, and I ask for your forgiveness for the times I did the same to you._

 _I'm sorry our disagreement led to your break up with Javi, I know some of it was the residuals left from me that you took out on him, he felt the anger and hurt you were feeling for me, and paid the price,_ _ **Please forgive me.**_

 _I know this because I am guilty of using Rick as my personal punching bag, often saying cruel and mean things to him without any provocation because of why; I lost my Mom, My dad became and alcoholic, I was alone in the world, Sorenson didn't feel I was worthy to include in his career decisions, Deeming, not even going there but perhaps he and Josh were the two biggest hurts I committed against Rick, None of these reasons gave me a right to treat Rick and often you the way I did,_ _ **Please forgive me**_ _._

 _I know there have been more times than I have remembered where I hurt you, or caused you pain, and I ask you now_ _ **, Please forgive me**_ _. More importantly will you meet somewhere neutral where you can tell me exactly how I hurt you, I promise this is not a setup, and I come with my head low, knowing just how bad a person I have been to many people._

 _I need to fix this, and Lanes, you were and have always been there for me. I don't want you to play the same role as before, I need a friend Lanie, someone that I can prove my friendship is worthy of having as well calling me out, but_ _ **not dictating**_ _my actions, that's the part that must change. I love you dear friend and if the last few days have been as miserable for you as they have for me,_ _ **Please forgive me.**_

 _I would like to have lunch at the new sandwich shop just down the street from Remy's before I go back to work on Monday and would really appreciate it if you could find the time, and the forgiveness to meet me so we can talk face to face. Please let me know what or if any time will work for you,_

 _Always,_

 _Kate._

Looking at the clock she can't believe it is almost 10:30 AM, and if she hurried she could get it out in today's mail. As she sealed, stamped and placed her return address label, she silently prayed this was the start to rebuilding a friendship.

 **Four Season Hotel**

 **Los Angeles, 7:30 AM Local Time**

Rick turns over from a relaxing night of sleep, perhaps the first he has had in months, wipes the sleep from his eyes and sees the time 7:30. Something is wrong he thinks then it dawns on him he is L.A. and the time is actually 10:30 in New York, no wonder he slept so well.

After showering and dressing for the studio, he checks his calendar and God Bless Paula, his first appointment isn't until 11:00 Local time here in California. Plenty of time for a leisurely breakfast and to review the notes the studio had sent via email yesterday. Rick sends Alexis a Good Morning text which is answered promptly, _"Love you Dad, in Chem class, call me later, have a good day Alexis"_

He smiles as he grabs he phone and heads out to the restaurant on the first floor for a light breakfast,

"Good Morning Mr. Castle, I trust everything is to your satisfaction" Maurice comes out of now where it seems to insure one of his best guest is getting treated accordingly.

"Good Morning Maurice, and as ALWAYS you have seen to every detail perfectly. Oh, I had drinks with two friends last evening and Mandy, the young lady working as the concierge did a magnificent job, just a kudos to her"

"Thank You Mr. Castle, I will pass along those kind words to her, I am sure she will appreciate it. I took the liberty to seat Ms. Courtney and Ms. Jacinda in your private room, I hope that is satisfactory."

"Off course it is, and Thanks for your courtesy Maurice, have they been here long?"

"No sir they were seated about five minutes ago," Maurice states as he leads the way to the room they had shared drinks with just a few hours ago.

"Well Good Morning Sleepy head" Courtney coos as she embraces Rick lightly and kisses his cheek, "We've been here for hours" she tries, then see's Ricks face as Jacinda fights to keep a straight face.

"Oh ok, we met Maurice just a few minutes ago, Mandy had left him word we were your friends, so he seated us here, I hope that's OK?"

"Of course, it is Courtney, I love the company of two beautiful women for breakfast although I will need to leave in about an hour for the studio."

Jacinda had been waiting patiently, and it was worth the wait,

Rick and she locked eyes, (God those eyes are killing me, I want to just take her right here Rick thinks, then quickly fights the thought off.) and she is now standing,

Taking Rick into a full embrace, she turns her face and kisses him sweetly and a bit longer than before on his lips, all the while her eyes sparkling like a constellation of stars, locked into his deep blue orbitals. "Good Morning Rick, been waiting 4 ½ hours to do that, ever since last night"

"Good Morning Jacinda, and that's a better wake up call than any I have had in quite a while" still with eyes locked on each other's eyes.

"Eh uhm Some of us are trying to eat here" as Courtney laughs after clearing her throat to break the stare.

Jacinda pokes her in the ribs and says "Whattttt, tell me you didn't want to kiss him too, she laughs as Courtney blushes and fidgets with her napkin.

After a quick breakfast, Rick is bidding the ladies a good day, and reminding them he will see them at 7:00 tonight sharp, then he's off.

 **Lionsgate Studios**

 **11:15 AM Local Time**

 **Los Angeles CA same day**

Rick pulls the red Porsche convertible up to the guard shack, and as he prepares to show his authorization to visit the set, the older guard steps forward

"Good Morning Mr. Castle, welcome to Lionsgate. You can park directly over there pointing to a group of spaces clearly marked VIP Visitor Only. Your personal driver today is Lennard who will drive you to and from your itinerary locations, in the Club Car. I hope this meets your approval."

"Thanks, and I didn't get your name", Rick replied

A big smile comes across his face, "I'm Lennard"

"As soon as you are parked I will be there to pick you up, care for a cold water, it can get warm out here some days"

Rick laughs, "Thanks Lennard, and yes on the water"

A few minutes later, they are tooling down the main set with Lennard waving to almost everyone that see's him. One thing never changes, his big smile, he enjoys his job, and it shows.

"So, Lennard how long have you been with Lionsgate?" "It appears that everyone knows you and is quick with a smile and wave" Rick says cordially

"I've been here for 27 years, not always doing this, I started as a runner years ago, then went up the ranks slowly, I did pretty good I guess. Produced a few shows back then wasn't as advanced as it is today"

"Wow 27 years, that's a long time, and to keep as excited about the job that's a trait I hope to hold on to."

Rick glances at the sun visitor as Lennard is waving to yet another group of people, and notices the badge clipped to the visor, but the name says Sheldon,

"Hey Lennard, may I ask you a question Rick says quietly,"

"Sure thing Mr. Castle ask away"

"Well your name is Lennard on your gold ID, yet your badge clipped to the visor says Sheldon, ***"

"You know you're the first that has caught that in a long time, real time is Sheldon Leonard, but don't spread that around, I got lucky with a few shows and then everybody thinks you know everything, and they ask you all kinds of questions" he laughs.

"Son of a Bitch, you're the Sheldon Leonard, famous for the shows in the 60's and 70's?"

"Yeah, like I said I got lucky a few times," "I love people and hearing their stories, so I do this now, beats sitting in front of the retirement home complaining about prostrate problems"

Rick is laughing so hard he almost falls out of the Club Car, and by now they are pulling up to his meeting site.

"Just page me Mr. Castle I will be close by when you are ready to move on."

"Thanks Lennard, and your secret is safe with me"

Rick enters the building and is immediately greeted by the Producer,

"Ricky you old sponge, how are your doing, we are so happy to finally get you out here"

"Good to see you as well Bob, lets get into in the conference room, I'd like to know what happened from our original concept." Rick says, as Bob winces a bit, knowing this is a business visit,

After about two hours of going through one incident after another, actors clashing on set, refusing to work more than 2 days a week with the other, too many scenes shot with stand ins, and the new Executive Producer that Bob had hired had changed and rewritten some basic plot points without Rick's approval, a huge contract breech, Rick finally holds his hand up palm out indicating for Bob to shut up.

"I know Rick, not what I promised, but this guy was literally forced on me by Lionsgate, and before I knew it he had the train going the wrong way, its been a fight since." Bob says quietly

"So, Natalie is in Rehab, the two playing Espo and Ryan can't stand each other, and Rook would only work 2 days when Natalie was here? Does that cover it, or did I miss anything?

"Well outside of the producer yeah that's the jest of it."

Rick stands and starts to pace, rubbing his jaw, finally he turns and says to Bob, "The producer is fired as of now, or I sue for breech and take this across the street, I want to meet with the casting director tomorrow, along with legal, get rid of the actors that were cast as Rook, Espo, and Ryan, pay them out of their contract, check on Natalie see when she is due out of rehab, and I want the update emailed to me before 4:00 PM today, Got it Bob?"

"Yeah Rick, but what if the studio balks about firing Dailey, I think they thought he was going to be like his twin and win awards for them, "

"If they balk, have them call this number as he scribbles his entertainment attorney's phone number, I can promise if they make that call, the $$ signs go up since they work on a commission as a bonus, and they never lose, never" Remember 4:00 now page Lennard for me, it's senseless to have any further meetings till tomorrow, set it up and let me know"

Lennard pulls up just as Rick is leaving the building and stops the club car. "That didn't take as long as planned, Next meeting Rick?"

"No Lennard no more meetings today, Bob has got some work to do I want that asshole Dailey gone before the end of the day, plus I'm recasting Rook, Espo and Ryan, what a bunch of kids and juvenile behavior"

"Want in on a secret Rick, the crew is going to throw a party when they find this out, no one could stand to work for that little Hitler, so when is your next meeting?" he asks

"I asked Bob to setup meetings tomorrow with the Casting Director and legal tomorrow and email me by 4:00 PM the times"

"Oh yeah, that makes a ton of sense, you'll like Marta, the casting director, she got ran over with her selections,"

"Marta is the casting director; do you know anyone trustworthy from legal Lennard?"

"Yep but let's see how scared Bob is, will he give you the A team or try to cover his Ass,"

Rick loved this icon, so down to earth and helpful. "Hey Lennard if you get me back to my car I'll be back tomorrow, please be sure to be here OK?"

"You got it"

Rick climbs in the convertible lowers the top, and heads toward the Four Seasons, with the radio blasting at **HIS** choice of channels, as remembers how many times he was chastised by Beckett for touching her controls, not to worry now dear Detective.

A/N Next up Dinner with a wild young fan and her Aunt, and the owner of those eyes, and another meeting with Bob, when Rick will decide to give him another chance or fire him like Dailey. Might even have time to check in on Beckett but need to develop this line completely. Thanks for your reads, follows, likes messages, they are fuel to me


	8. Chapter 8

Down for the Count **by Castlefan6**

Authors Note: This is my AU version of events immediately following the end scene of Countdown where Kate is in the arms of Josh watching Castle walk away after several near-death experiences. He believed she had almost confessed she loved him, but she lost consciousness one second too soon. This story is dedicated to Norman, hope it is close to what you wanted my friend. We both had severe anxiety when Beckett just watched as Castle walked away watching her in the arms of Dr. Motorcycle Boy. _**WARNING: Caskett is NOT a guarantee in this AU story.**_

I don't own Castle, I use the characters for amusement purposes only

A/N Thanks Everyone for such great feedback, from both perspectives, Ann, Kbeckettcastle, Guest and Our Spanish post that I used a translate program to read, Keep it coming. The story will hopefully let us all see that just as life, this is a journey to a destination we don't know the end too, Love the passion and Thanks to All ! PS Paula I love our debates as well, keep them coming and thanks to all who read and review

 **Chapter 8**

 **Previously**

Rick climbs in the convertible lowers the top, and heads toward the Four Seasons, with the radio blasting at **HIS** choice of channels, as he remembers how many times he was chastised by Beckett for touching her controls, _**not to worry now dear Detective.**_

 **Four Seasons Hotel**

 **6:45 PM Local Time**

Jacinda has finished getting ready for tonight's dinner with Rick, Courtney and Beth, and to say she pulled out all the stops would be putting it mildly. She had spent the day at the beauty and health spa, Waxing, shaping her eyebrows, Exfoliation treatment, manicure, pedicure, light spray tan, moisturized and professional makeup applied. She was beautiful before but now she looked like a movie star, and a hot one at that.

Jacinda couldn't help but notice the extra attention she garnered in the elevator on her way down to Courtney's suite. It made the pain of the hot wax (who the hell invented that painless method anyway, probably some hairy dude) and all of the fretting, sitting, and having multiple men and women in the salon, work on her beauty treatment worthwhile, as long as one author noticed, then it would really be worth it.

Jacinda went to knock on Courtney's door when it flew open and out came a burst of energy hugging her, "Auntie J, it's so great to see you, and wow do you look beautiful, Aunt Courtney is going to be Sooooooo jealous" she smiled. Courtney came around the corner as they were walking in the door,

"Jesus J, you weren't supposed to drain your 401K for one dinner but Wow you do look beautiful."

"Thanks, you know the older you get the more maintenance the old girl needs", she laughs, as Beth replies

"Yeah right Auntie J, guys in my class will be hitting on you and I won't get a look even naked and standing on my head" she laughs as Courtney shrieks

"NO WAY Young Lady, none of this naked stuff, got that,"

Beth winks at Jacinda meaning she was going to drive Courtney nuts,

"Well you know Auntie, I am 17 and will turn 18 in 5 months, so technically I am older than you when you danced to pay for college for Mom"

"What, who told you that, besides that's different your Mom and I were all we had, we survived any legal way we could, and I NEVER danced naked" Courtney looks over at Beth and Jacinda both holding in laughs and knew she had been had.

"Thanks for confirming a rumor Courtney, so you were a dancer" Jacinda says kiddingly, "Your secret is safe with me, **IF** you keep your hands-off Rick" she laughed.

"Speaking of" Beth adds, "it's not polite to be late so we better get going."

Three beautiful ladies leave the suite and are admired by many on their walk to the elevator, not the luring looks of last evening, but appreciative looks that men send out when they would like to pursue things. They don't vary their course and are standing in front of the Terrace Room, precisely at 7:00 PM on the dot.

Good Evening Ms. Jacinda, Ms. Courtney, and Welcome Ms. Beth, Mr. Castle has just arrived and is selecting the wine, he will be right here Maurice says so sweetly.

"Auntie J?"

"Yes Sweetie"

"I'm really nervous, what if he thinks I'm just a dumb kid, I mean I can't drink, so I'll be out of place already"

"Beth, one thing I know about Rick, is that he is not the type of man who would make anyone feel uncomfortable, AND his daughter is close to your age"

"He has a daughter almost my age. But he's a hunk and looks so sexy, I mean all the girls in my class have the hots for him" Beth! "Courtney exclaims, manners you are a lady act like one, please."

"Sorry Auntie, I just got so excited,"

"It's OK Sweetie, so does Auntie J, just keep your eye on her so she doesn't steal him away before we eat" Courtney laughs

Maurice steps over and says, "Ladies will you follow me please?"

Once again, they wind through a very elegant restaurant with people dressed to kill, some women should have been prosecuted for stretching the fabric so hard to squeeze into some of the almost gowns.

As they step through a door, there stands Rick, dressed in his Armani Tux holding 3 roses, one for each of the ladies, which he presents as he seats each one personally.

Jacinda didn't know about Beth or Courtney but she wanted to hug and kiss him all night long, how one man can be so thoughtful and sweet is beyond her.

As he holds the chair for Beth, he extends his hand, "Hi Beth, I'm Rick, it's so nice to meet you, and Thanks for being a fan" then that million-dollar smile appears. Poor Beth is reduced to a puddle of jelly, as she stammers

"Hi Rick, so nice to meet you as well, gosh you look better in person than on any of your books that Auntie J has in her house."

Jacinda flushes a bit, but oh what the heck he already knows how big a fan she is of his,

Rick nods over at Maurice, and then a large cake filled with sprinklers comes to the table, sparkles going everywhere and spelling out "Congrats Beth and Best Wishes from YOUR Fan, Rick".

Everyone at the table was looking around until Rick spoke,

"Beth, your aunt, well aunts since both talked about you for hours on our trip out here so I did some investigating, seems you are an honors student at one of the toughest schools here, and carrying a 4.0 grade average while working, Is that right?"

"Yes" Beth replies shyly,

"I also found out you wanted a career in Law, hoping to one day serve the people and protect us from what happened to your family"

Once again, a very shy "Yes"

"Well why don't you open your card, and Maurice you can bring the tray over now"

Jacinda and Courtney are sitting in utter awe, seeing not only Beth meeting her favorite author, but he is actually invested in her, and knows her backstory,

Beth finally gets the card open and begins to yell, jump up and down then runs over and grabs Rick in a bear hug, repeating "Thank You, Thank You" over and over,

Courtney is tearing up just seeing her niece so happy, "What on earth Rick could you have given her **"

"It's a full scholarship to Harvard all 6 years, Auntie, I can't believe it, I just can't believe it" as she breaks into tears

Now Courtney is crying and Jacinda is fighting hard, if she hadn't spent so much on her make over she would have already let the tears fall"

Beth then turns to the tray, and see's an autographed and personalized copy of the entire Heat series, "You are kidding right, Auntie J pinch me, this can't be real"

Rick is smiling, and Jacinda takes his hand and looks deep into your eyes, "Thank you, you'll never know just how happy this night is for us all, we love you Rick, we all love you!"

Rick is hugged and kissed, with each one his smile grows wider and brighter, and Jacinda can see the light coming back on in his soul.

"Well enough of that, I thought you ladies were hungry, I know I am," Rick Laughs.

Three adoring females are still lost in him, each for different reasons,

"Maurice can you bring the wine please," and as the bottle is brought out they notice another bottle on the tray, Rick is offered and tastes the wine nodding in approval,

Maurice then says Ms. Beth can you approve this, Courtney is apprehensive till she see's sparkling grape juice on the label and smiles at how hard Rick has worked to make Beth feel so welcome and like an adult.

The remainder of the dinner is filled with conversation, with Beth requesting to meet Alexis, and asking Rick if he will attend her High School graduation with her Aunts coming up in 3 weeks, which Rick never hesitated,

"Of course, Beth, if you want me there, I will be there. I want you to know that from now on, you have me, as well as your aunts to rely on, if you need anything you call me, as long as it's Ok with Aunt Courtney"

"Of course, it is Rick" Courtney fights through the tears,

Beth rises from the table, takes her glass over and stands next to Rick, "A toast to Uncle Rick, the sweetest man in the world" All glasses clink as Rick is a little embarrassed then Beth leans in and kisses him on the cheek appropriately, reminding him of one of those from Alexis, "I love you Uncle Rick" ALMOST brings him to tears.

Courtney and Beth are starting to fade from all the excitement, "Rick, would you be hurt if we went to the room, I think the excitement has finally hit us both,"

Rick Stands and Kisses first Beth like he would Alexis, then Courtney on the cheek, almost getting lips, and say "Good night ladies, Uncle Rick will be here when ever you need him and love you too!

Jacinda has just been staring at Rick, like she had most of the night, almost in awe. "Jacinda you've been quiet, I hope I didn't upset you with anything this evening",

"No Rick, I'm just amazed at the depth of your love, compassion and ability to always put others first, I've never seen that"

"By the way, I didn't want to embarrass you earlier, but you are drop dead gorgeous, I even had to tell our waiter, you were taken, poor boy, think he almost tripped, couldn't keep his eyes off you"

"Thank You, that was so sweet, of you, but I'm sure it was Courtney or Beth he was checking out,"

"No, he asked me if the "Hot Babe with the gorgeous body was my date, and I told him yes, hope you don't mind"

Jacinda cups Ricks face and kisses him deeper and this time with the slightest bit of tongue "Does that answer your question Rick?" she smiles playfully.

"You know they have a great band playing in the main room of the restaurant, but you might wind up on page 6 if we go there to enjoy a dance or two," Rick says shyly

Jacinda surprises him with her answer, "So, I would be proud for anyone to think that I was Richard Castles date or even love interest, let the pictures flow if they want to, I am fine with it."

"And you wouldn't have issues from work?"

"Rick, Free publicity from an A list celebrity, are you kidding they would probably give me a bonus"

"Shall We", Rick Asks

"We Shall "she replies.

Rick motions to Maurice, that they are leaving, and shakes his hand, palming a generous tip that only Maurice knows about.

As they make their way from his private room towards the part that contained the dance floor Rick gently slid his arm around Jacinda's slender waist and was surprised when she slid he arm around him and pulled him in close.

The band was playing some oldies this set, and they enter to Lady in Red, not even stopping to get a table, Maurice has seen to that already, Rick leads Jacinda to the Dance floor and gently sways to the music. Her perfume is really turning him on, or was it her firm breasts pressed against him, or could it be the lack of space between both, two bodies becoming one. "God She is Beautiful Rick thinks, wonder if I am coming on too strong, I hope not"

She turns to look at him and there are those eyes, and he melts, one sweet kiss, turns into another, and another each gaining in length and passion.

"I have to stop that, or I won't be able to control myself," Rick whispers,

"Who said they wanted you too Rick? His look of surprise doesn't last as Jacinda locks lips for a kiss that leaves them both breathless, finally when they regain some air she whispers "Take me to your room Rick, I have so much more I want to give you"

The most difficult time was stopping long enough for them to make it to the elevator, once the doors closed, Jacinda presses him up against the wall, "Take me Rick, I can't wait any longer", hands are flying, fondling, kissing caressing and finally Rick whispers

"Few minutes doll, the bed is much more comfortable."

Once the door opens to Rick's room, Jacinda shows him just how much prep she has done, there was no doubt she had wanted the evening to end exactly like it was. Both lay exhausted and finally depleted enough to sleep.

Sleep came quickly and as Jacinda awoke once in the night, she reached over and touched Rick just to make sure she wasn't dreaming, thank God she wasn't.

At the same time the Entertainment Section of the NY Times and LA Gazette were preparing a shared piece with some grainy photos of Rick and Jacinda locked in a kiss on the dance floor, oblivious to anyone or anything else in the world.

A/N Good place to stop, we didn't get it all covered as planned, but dinner ran long, and they surprised me with some things I hadn't planned. Hope you are enjoying, Thanks for your reviews and comments, appreciate your support,

Tim


	9. Chapter 9

Down for the Count **by Castlefan6**

Authors Note: This is my AU version of events immediately following the end scene of Countdown where Kate is in the arms of Josh watching Castle walk away after several near-death experiences. He believed she had almost confessed she loved him, but she lost consciousness one second too soon. This story is dedicated to Norman, hope it is close to what you wanted my friend. We both had severe anxiety when Beckett just watched as Castle walked away watching her in the arms of Dr. Motorcycle Boy. _**WARNING: Caskett is NOT a guarantee in this AU story.**_

I don't own Castle, I use the characters for amusement purposes only

 **Chapter 9**

 **Previously**

"You know they have a great band playing in the main room of the restaurant, but you might wind up on page 6 if we go there to enjoy a dance or two," Rick says shyly

Jacinda surprises him with her answer, "So, I would be proud for anyone to think that I was Richard Castles date or even love interest, let the pictures flow if they want to, I am fine with it."

"And you wouldn't have issues from work?"

"Rick, Free publicity from an A list celebrity, are you kidding they would probably give me a bonus"

"Shall We", Rick Asks

 **Castle's Penthouse**

 **Four Seasons Hotel**

 **Los Angeles CA**

 **Next Day 7:00 AM Local Time**

Jacinda had been up, showered in the second bathroom, and was sitting in her robe just holding Rick's hand as he slept peacefully, such a sweet man she thought. Suddenly his eyes open wide and he reaches over then realizes Jacinda is holding his hand and smiles up at her.

"Hey there, Good Morning, did you sleep well?"

Jacinda just leans in and kisses him sweet and passionately, "Yes, yes I did Rick, just a few interruptions in the night, as she smiles at him"

"Did those interruptions bother you?"

"Quite the contrary, but God Rick 4 times, what the hell do you take" Jacinda says lying on top of him and kissing him with all the passion she could show.

"That was one of if not the best nights of my life and I don't mean just the love making. What you did for Courtney and Beth, will forever touch their lives, and you really don't know just how special you made them both feel last night, it was perfect."

"I got texts from both just a few minutes ago wanting to know if they could call you, I told them that you were probably sleeping. Beth tricked me, she asked do you sleep on your back or your stomach, I had answered and then they knew I was here I'm sorry to let it out of the bag."

Rick laughed, "I'm not, in fact that takes the how do we tell them off the table and just let's us enjoy the time we have together"

There is a knock on the door and Maurice stands with a wait staff member with two breakfast trays, a new Rose in a beautiful vase, a pot of coffee, and a copy of the NY Times, "Thank you Maurice" Rick says, having slipped on his robe and handed him his tip as usual.

"Anything new going on I should be up on?"

"Well sir, please look at page 6 in the entertainment section Mr. Castle, I have reviewed security tapes and the paparazzi who took this was in the main bar, posed as a roadie for the band, my apologies to Ms. Jacinda. We have doubled the security now,"

"Maurice, there is no problem, I am proud to have been seen dancing, walking or**

"How about kissing on the middle of the dance floor" Rick interrupts.

"That too, I am proud that this man cared about me enough to ask me out and let me display my affection for him" "Bring in more paps I will pose for them, if that's what it takes to keep other ladies away from him" she smiled, then blushed realizing she had just staked a claim on Rick.

"Thanks Maurice, we really appreciate all you do for us, but as Jacinda says she is fine, I am fine, who wouldn't want to be kissing this beautiful lady."

Very well thank you Mr. Castle, Ms. Jacinda Have a wonderful day

When the door closed Rick picked Jacinda up and carried her to the shower "I know you already showered, but I wanted to know if you were interested in another one" as he grinned

Two showers and hours later Rick was finally on his way to the meeting at the studio to complete the business he began yesterday.

 **Lanie's Apartment 9:30 EST**

 **New York**

 **Same Day**

Lanie had just sat down with her morning coffee, about to enjoy a day of leisure, no work, no man, and no Kate to have to keep straight, she had her own life to live, after all. The thud at her door meant the paper had just been delivered, so as she went to refill her coffee, she gathered it in.

Guys always started with Sports section she always chose the entertainment, somehow hanging on to that childhood dream of her becoming a dancer. She turned the pages until page 6 hit her like a slap in the face. There it was in black and white, in bold and the picture to prove it.

A grainy picture of Rick, yeah it was definitely him locked in a lip lock in the middle of a dance floor with two other couples gazing upon the couple with starry eyes. The caption read **, NY Based Best Seller Conducting Local Interviews for New Muse** _._

 _Bestselling author Richard Castle based out of NYC was spotted interviewing, a new source of inspiration at the Four Seasons last evening. This tends to corroborate rumors that there is trouble between Castle and his NYPD Detective Muse, often rumored love interest, Detective Kate Beckett. We have reached out for comments from both Mr. Castle and Ms. Beckett but received No response from either._

Lanie thinks Oh shit, this is going to tear Beckett apart, oh what do I know I'm not the fucking Dorm Mother as she put it. Lanie is finally going through her mail, when she spots an unusual envelope, she knows that handwriting, and a quick check of the return address label confirms, it was from Kate.

As she opens the letter she is torn with emotions, still hurt, from the out burst and the words Kate used, but now just seeing the paper she feels for her friend. As she reads the letter, her emotions go from anger, to sheer agony, as soon as she reads the last line for the seventh time, she reaches for her phone, unblocks Kate's number then calls her friend.

 **Lionsgate Studios**

 **9:00 AM Local Time**

 **Los Angeles CA**

Rick pulls the red convertible to the gate and waves at Lennard and heads for he VIP Guest parking. "Good Morning Mr. Castle how was your evening," Lennard says with a sly smile.

"I take by your smile Lennard you have seen the paper this morning, so yes I had a fantastic evening last night, how was yours."

"Oh, the usual, call the kids, and argue about whose getting what when I'm gone, the way things are going I'm going to outlive them all."

"Why's that Lennard," Rick asks genuinely

"Lost two already, one has cancer the other bad diabetes, leaves just the youngest who is healthy, and to be honest, the money will go to charity before she gets another dime" "Sorry Mr. Castle here's your first meeting, keep me posted here all day"

Rick walks through the same doors and is greeted by Bob once again, this time more businesslike, "we have the large conference room, Can I get you coffee before we start Rick?"

"That'd be great Bob, who we starting with Legal or Casting?

"Marta our casting director will meet us there in 10 minutes, and eh"

"Go ahead Bob spit it out what do you have to say"

"Well things were tough yesterday, I really felt like shit by the time I got out of here last night, but Dailey and the others are gone. I gotta tell you the CEO of Lionsgate is not happy with you at all"

"Oh, really who would that be, Dailey's Father in Law?"

"What?" "You're shitting me, right?"

"No, how do you think the hack keeps a job at all, but how the hell do you hire someone for my project and don't know shit you can find on Google?" "Which is it are you that stupid or just that fucking lazy Bob?"

Bob hangs his head now, "I'm not stupid Rick, there was a time,**

"What happened Bob, Drugs, Booze, Broads What? Rick interrupts

"Tired Rick, just tired of fighting with the powers to be, profit took first seat to quality, cut costs everywhere and fuck the people, just crank out the mechanized shit, "

"Tell you what Bob, you and your wife take two weeks' vacation, don't tell anyone here where you are going, the only one I want you to watch is Natalie, keep in touch with her, and then in two weeks we talk again, OK?"

"You sure Rick?"

"I'm sure now let's get to our meeting with Marta and where's my coffee", he smiles

The meeting with Marta was everything Rick had hoped the site visit would be, she already had preliminary 1st 2nd and 3rd pics for each of the actors fired, deciding to leave the role of Rook till Natalie had a chance to voice in on it. Rick Liked her a lot, in fact, he named her Managing Director giving her the power to fight the brass at the Studio corporate, With Ricks influence, money and Marta's knowledge the project would be back on track in no time. Bob would return as Special Executive Producer, AKA a Mentor to turn the role over to Marta in time allowing him to leave in grace.

The meeting with legal left Rick, appreciating his attorneys more than ever. There was only one woman, quiet and soft spoken that had a clue of what Rick was looking for when negotiating deals with networks.

Jan Henderson was very bright, and when you got closer was a natural beauty although she played the plain jane role to her advantage. Rick arranged for Jan to interview with his entertainment attorney and if she got the thumbs up, Legal would be restructured and quickly. Tomorrow looked like another day at the studio, this was too much like work Rick thought as the walked out, and spotted Lennard.

Ready for the car Mr. Castle, take it legal didn't impress you,

"Actually Lennard, only one person stood out at all, her name is**"

"Jan Henderson Lennard interrupted"

"Yes, but how did you know?"

She's my great niece but don't tell anyone, nepotism you know "as he laughed.

Rick laughed, "Thanks Lennard, I'll be back tomorrow hope to see you then"

"Plan on it Mr. Castle, I'm not going anywhere have a great night, and hope the interviews go well," as he laughed remembering the article and picture

 **Beckett's Apartment**

 **9:46 AM Same Day**

Kate has just completed her third reps of yoga exercises and is about to sit down and glance at the paper before showering and meeting her Dad for Lunch at 1:30 PM, when her phone rings with Lanie's ring tone, Kate reaches and answers hopefully,

"Hey Lanes, did you get my Letter?"

"Kate, yeah, yeah I did, and uh have you read this morning's Times yet?" she replied almost shyly,

"Lanie, is anything wrong? I know we have to talk, but are you OK? Did something happen to you?"

"Kate, slow down, did you read the damn paper yet or not" and the old Lanie was back

"Not yet, I just sat down to have a cup of coffee before my shower, is there anything I should look for?"

"Hun turn to page six of the Entertainment section and brace yourself," Lanie says with a note of sadness

Kate turns to the section and sees the picture, and then reads the short paragraph underneath, as a tear forms in her eye,

"Well, I guess I know what he meant by "being busy this week and would talk to me next **IF** he had time now. Do you think it's really him Lanie, I mean there's been hundreds of doctored photo's printed**"?"

"Sweetie, you and I both know that it's him, you need to get a grip on this, and denying it happened or pretending you never saw it is not the way to handle this and you know it" Lanie interrupts

"Well, the last Castle knew you and Doctor Motorcycle Boy were an item, and from what I heard, when he left after the DHS incident as they are calling it, he was more heartbroken than anyone had ever seen him. LT tried to talk to him on his way out and said his voice was choking and he had tears in his eyes" That's not like the Playboy you make him out to be" Lanie chastises

"Lanie, I saw his face as he was waiting for the elevator doors to close, he stared straight up rather than look ahead to see Josh and I embraced, I looked over Josh's shoulder and I wanted to run to him then", Kate is now half sobbing, half talking

"Well remember how you felt when you had to watch him walk out of the precinct arm in arm with ex-wife 2 Gina last summer, even though you had the first opportunity and lied to the man's face. "

"Not to mention the crappy way you and Boy Toy spoke to and treated him before you got your head out your ass, but joke was on you, you waited too long. How was your summer last year Kate? I seem to remember a lot of girl's nights where you got blitzed to try to forget"

"That wasn't the smartest thing to do to a man who already had one marriage end based on lies and infidelity, I bet you never even told him when you broke off with Demming did you?"

"Lanie what do you mean one marriage ended because of infidelity,"

"Don't you two ever talk, I mean really talk about anything other than the case of the week? Meredith cheated on him, right after Alexis was born, and I bet you thought it was him didn't you Kate Beckett?

"You're right, I just assumed that with his image on page six, oh my God, you're right, I really did treat him like crap and worse, I let Tom do it as well" Kate is fighting to hold the sobs, the tears have been flowing.

"Tell you what, have lunch with your Dad, then come over with a bottle of wine, don't go cheap on me Beckett, and we'll talk, and Kate, (long pause) Please forgive me as well, I'll see you soon" as the line goes dead

 **12** **th** **Precinct**

 **Same time Frame**

"Hey Kevin, did you see this shit?" throwing the article showing Rick and Jacinda to Ryan's desk

"What about it Bro?" I mean Castle saved Beckett's ass, and her life 3 times damned near froze to death, and she goes all clingy with Dr. MB hours later? What the hell is he supposed to do?"

Not the response Espo had anticipated

"Kevin, this is Beckett, she's like, ***"

"Like what Javi, a sister? Well we backed her last summer when she was with Demming then at the last minute she wanted to change horses in the middle of the race, except Castle had already found companionship, and she was left alone"

"That was wrong back then. Hell, Castle has treated us more like brothers than Kate has, and we treated him like shit. I almost shot him, and the Captain wanted to lock him up all in defense of poor Kate who started the whole mess because she got the hots for the new guy."

"Kevin, you don't really mean that, I mean come on its Kate" Javi pleads

"Javi, listen to me closely, we already helped her clean up her mess once, but not again, AND if you start treating Castle like the bad guy, IA is going to find out your little secret gambling ring, "

"You can't be serious Bro?"

"I am as serious as a heart attack, this is one mess she is going to have to clean up on her own"

A/N Good place to stop. Love to hear your comments, feedback, I am getting it from both Pro Kate, and Pro Rick, and as long as your reviews are respectful to me and others they will appear, this is not meant to Bash either, and I still don't know which path on this journey these characters will take to determine the ending.

Tim


	10. Chapter 10

Down for the Count **by Castlefan6**

Authors Note: This is my AU version of events immediately following the end scene of Countdown where Kate is in the arms of Josh watching Castle walk away after several near-death experiences. He believed she had almost confessed she loved him, but she lost consciousness one second too soon. This story is dedicated to Norman, hope it is close to what you wanted my friend. We both had severe anxiety when Beckett just watched as Castle walked away watching her in the arms of Dr. Motorcycle Boy. _**WARNING: Caskett is NOT a guarantee in this AU story.**_

I don't own Castle, I use the characters for amusement purposes only

 **Chapter 10**

 **Previously**

"Well, I guess I know what he meant by "being busy this week and would talk to me next **IF** he had time now. Do you think it's really him Lanie, I mean there's been hundreds of doctored photo's printed**"?"

 **Lionsgate Studios**

 **Los Angeles CA**

 **1:30 PM local time as Rick exits Gates**

Rick decides that he's had enough work, and Jan Henderson would not interview until this evening, Jacinda did say she was keeping the day open for him if he could make it back, dialing her using the blue tooth device,

"Hey Rick, where you at?"

"Hi Jacinda, I'm just leaving the studios headed back to the Four Seasons, what have you got planned for today?"

"Not a thing, remember our talk this morning, I'm holding the day open just in case you could get back to spend time with you,"

"Jacinda, you shouldn't sit around waiting for someone to maybe call you, enjoy your time off, don't you go back to work tomorrow?"

"That's sweet Rick, but I am doing what I want to do, and not waiting for someone, I'm waiting for you. I go back day after tomorrow, so I have the rest of today and tomorrow then it's back to work for three weeks, then Beth's graduation."

"Well speaking of that would you like to go somewhere for lunch or grab a show?"

"How about we get room service, and I put on a show for you, last night was all about me and my pleasure, and I want to return the pleasure." She purrs which has Rick fighting his arousal already.

"Jacinda, please don't take this the wrong way, and please let me finish before you say anything OK?"

"Rick, if you are going to tell me you're not ready for a relationship and that you have just been hurt, and hurt very deeply, I know that."

"I don't expect anything but for us to enjoy ourselves, no strings attached, maybe in time, but Hun, it's way to early for you and I know that. For now, I'll take what I can get, did that sum it up for you, or did I jump the gun"

Rick is smiling as he speaks "You're pretty special you know, and Thank you, I am just fresh off a heart break, I'll tell you about it if that won't bother you when I get to your room in 5,4,3,2, Now" as he knocks on her door.

The door fly's open, Jacinda holding her phone and now jumping in Ricks arms smothering him in kisses from the neck to the ear, then lips, first one side then the other.

"If I get this welcome every time let me come back a few times" Rick laughs,

"Rick, can we go to your suite, more privacy, I do want to hear about what turned off the lights in your soul, you were a shell of the man we met in London to this trip, OK?" Do you feel up to it, or should I just keep quiet?"

Rick smiles slowly and takes her hand gently, "You ready?"

As they enter the penthouse Jacinda chooses the living area, she wants to talk, and if she is anywhere near the bed she knows that's not what will happen.

"Is this good Rick? She asks as he is at the bar making them each a drink

"Perfect," as he set her drink in front of her, and pushing her chair in so she is closer to the table, as he is leaning in she kisses him sweetly,

"It'll be all right Rick, I Promise, OK?"

"Where should I start?"

"I think I've heard you say in your books, "at the beginning would be a logical place" imitating a male character out of one of his Storm books, that brings a deep laugh from Rick and relaxes the mood.

"Well, you know about the playboy past, you've read all about it, and I think we talked about the family dynamics at home with Alexis, Mother and what I do for inspiration for the Nikki Heat books"

"It's the extraordinary KB isn't it Rick? She's the one who has almost extinguished that torch inside of you" Jacinda asks sweetly

"Well, I'm not blameless either, I've done things that I'm sure have hurt or at least pissed her off, but it seemed like we were moving closer then out of the blue comes this new boyfriend, a doctor no less who travels for DWB (Doctors without Borders), I mean how do you compete with that?"

"You don't Rick, you put your Best self forward, if that falls short, move on, you and she weren't meant to be" Jacinda says with a tear in her eye,

"Memories of your breakup? As Rick gently reaches for her hand

"Yes, but hey we are talking about you now, we'll get to me when we're finished OK?" she asks through tear filled eyes

Rick continues to describe his feelings when Sorenson returns, then Demming, the hurtful lie before really out of desperation he invited Gina his ex-wife and publisher to avoid being alone, then finally the day the Doctor walked into the precinct, surprising him, her team and even the Captain.

He is honest when he admits that Gina and he both were so tired of being alone their relationship the second time should never have started, but she was good for companionship,

"Bet she wasn't bad in bad either Rick, I could see that working for you had it been a friends with benefits type, but exclusive? No typically if it doesn't work the first time, it won't the second" Jacinda softly interrupts

"How did you know that"

"Rick, you're a hot man, women throw themselves at you, from age 14, to 90 and you have needs, all of us do." "If you aren't being satisfied by the one you love, you, well people, look for who's close to what your heart wants, and you try to make it fit"

"Is that what we're doing now, or at least is that what you are doing and think I am doing Jacinda?"

"No Rick, I told you straight up, no expectations, you're a hunk, who is very sweet and one of the best lovers I have ever had, and don't go there, no woman will give you their number, at least the honest one, we all deserve some secrets."

"So, it's just sex with us Jacinda is that how you feel?"

"Rick let's finish one discussion before we digress to another please, but the short answer is "Hell No, it's more for me" she smiles

Hearing the emphatic Hell no it's more for me seemed to allow Rick to regain his confidence, as he proceeded to tell her as much as he could about the incidents leading up to his trip to Los Angeles, including the three near deaths, the ALMOST confession of love, and finally his last picture of her embracing her lover as he walked away, barely able to vocalize the last part.

Jacinda steps from the table, takes Rick into her arms and kisses him sweetly, gently and pouring all the passion in her heart into her lips, whispers "It'll be OK Rick, I promise you, not today, not tomorrow, but it'll get better" "You asked me a question before, the sex is the best I have ever had but there's more to this than that, BUT you're not ready Love, you may think you are but you aren't." "You're still in love with Kate, and until that ends it's not fair to you, or anyone to even begin to start more than a physical relationship, and Rick?

"Yes Jacinda, "comes a sad and quiet response,

"Please, Please don't think of her when you make love to me, I would rather go without any touch at all to think I was just a substitute for the one you want."

"Jacinda, PLEASE I never have or would ever do that, I care about you deeply, you're right I need to stop loving her before I can move on, **BUT** she has **never** been on my mind when we are in the bedroom, you must believe me"

Jacinda sits quietly for a moment, then takes his hand and leads him to the bedroom, "Rick, prove it to me, and Please don't close your eyes, I know when I see them exactly where you are" **See A/N**

Rick proves he is telling her the truth more than once, and Jacinda opens to him that she is coming out of a long engagement that just didn't work out, and now she is searching for that love, Rick has done well, very well on the interview *****

 **Lanie's Apartment**

 **4:00 PM EST**

Kate knocks on her best friends' door, happy to be there to reconcile, but is still a bit nervous how this will play out. A few seconds later the door opens, and her fears erased, as Lanie pulls her into a hug, both shed a few tears as "I'm sorry from both are uttered in unison, and finally they make it into Lanie's apartment.

"Lanie, I can't tell you how much I hate what happened, I guess I had to hit bottom to see just what a bitch I've become to all those who care about me, please forgive me?" My biggest regret is the hurt I have done to you all, but especially to Rick, a man who did nothing but try to help me, and now Alexis hates me, and without her support no woman stays in Rick's life, so I am screwed"

"I got to tell you girlfriend, I thought you had been taken over or something, my friend Kate would never behave like that, not to her team, not to me, and certainly not to the man we all know she has been in love with since he saved her from her bathtub, and apartment fire."

"Lanie I'm not**"

"Not what Kate Beckett? Look me in the eye and tell me this picture of Rick kissing someone else is not killing you." Kate glances down and just the glimpse of the picture has her tears falling again.

"Like I said you've been in love with him, now what we have to do is figure out how to get him and you in the same room, so you can finally tell him, once you apologize of course" Lanie states

"That's going to be hard when he's in Los Angeles and I'm in New York, and I'm not sure when he comes back if he will even let any of us know IF he comes back, Lanes I know I hurt him so badly" and the tears pour once again.

Lanie reaches over and pulls Kate into an embrace, "Shh, it's OK, we are going to figure this out, the man ain't married yet and till he says I do, we got a shot" which gets a soft laugh out of Kate,

"Have you had contact with him at all Kate?"

Kate goes through the nightmare of the texts, her conversation, if you could call it that, with Alexis then the apology text from Alexis after she had spoken to Rick, Kate's text to Rick after he had spoken to Alexis and finally she showed her his last response,

"He's gone Lanes, I finally did what I said I was going to do all along"

"What? He doesn't sound like he's been shot, at least not yet" Kate smiles but still through tears

"We'll figure this out, just gotta figure out how to get you to Los Angeles so you can ask forgiveness in person, then see if you can bring your boy home "

They open the wine, order pizza and have a catch-up session of Girl Talk some laughter some tears, Lanie is still devastated by Javi breaking it off, she never saw it coming, and finally Kate leaves with her friend back in her corner, that felt good. Now she had to work on Rick.

 **Rick's Penthouse**

 **Los Angeles CA 6:30 PM Local Time**

Rick and Jacinda had spent the better part of the afternoon, with Jacinda now in the take charge position, and making Rick feel like his body had been worshiped over and over, sleep, make love, sleep, make love till finally Beth had called Jacinda's cell phone.

"Hi Auntie J, I won't ask how or what you are doing", as she laughs but would you and Uncle Rick like to join us for dinner?" Rick nods yes since Jacinda has her phone on speaker,

"That sounds great, what time and where?"

"Maurice has a car arranged to pick us up in one hour to take us to Uncle Ricks favorite restaurant, is that OK Uncle Rick, I know you have the phone on speaker"

Rick laughs, "Beth that will be perfect, meet you downstairs in an hour ok? Bye"

"What's your favorite restaurant Rick, I need to dress accordingly"

It's casual and you've got 45 minutes as he picks he up kissing her and places her on the bed gently.

Rick is thinking I could get used to this, while Jacinda is thinking my God how can I keep this man, both almost are late getting downstairs for the limo as Beth just smiles seeing how happy her Auntie J is.

As they stepped into the limo more paparazzi shots were taken, the door closes but the car doesn't leave. A few minutes later Maurice and a film crew are setup and Rick and the ladies replay the entrance to the car, except this time Rick stands, kisses Beth appropriately, then Courtney on the cheek and big hug, and finally he and Jacinda lay one on each other with hands dangerously close to being inappropriate, finally they break.

"Hate to disappoint you guys who are trying to sell your grainy photos to the gossip rags, this will be on Entertainment Tonight, sorry you wasted your film", as he enters the limo and the car pulls carefully away with only Rick and the driver aware of the final destination. Jacinda is lost in her thoughts, she doesn't care if it's a hamburger joint, as long as she is spending time with Rick, she is happy.

A/N Good Spot to stop, we have Lanie and Kate mended, one more day for Jacinda to spend, coming up the interview with the mysterious Legal Lady, and how can we get Rick and Kate in the same time zone. Thanks for your comments, reviews favorites and follows, much appreciated,

Tim

A/N 2 When Jacinda asks Rick to Don't Close your Eyes its from a song by Keith Whitley, Female covered by Kelly Pickler

I know you loved her  
A long time ago  
Even now in my arms  
You still want her I know

But darlin this time  
Let your memories die  
When you hold me tonight  
Don't close your eyes

Chorus-  
Don't close your eyes

Let it be me  
Don't pretend its her  
In some fantasy  
Darlin' just once  
Let yesterday just go  
And you'll find more love  
Than you've ever known  
Just hold me tight  
When you love me tonight  
Don't close your eyes

Maybe i've been a fool  
Holding on all this time  
Lying here in your arms  
knowing he's in your mind  
But I keep hoping someday  
That you'll see the light  
Let it be me tonight

Don't close your eyes

Chorus-  
Don't close your eyes  
Let it be me  
Don't pretend its him  
In some fantasy  
Darlin' just once  
Let yesterday just go  
And you'll find more love  
Than you've ever known  
Just hold me tight  
When you love me tonight  
Don't close your eyes

Chorus-  
Don't close your eyes  
Let it be me  
Don't pretend its him  
In some fantasy  
Darlin' just once  
Let yesterday go  
You'll find more love  
Than you've ever known  
Just hold me tight  
When you love me tonight  
Don't close your eyes


	11. Chapter 11

Down for the Count **by Castlefan6**

Authors Note: This is my AU version of events immediately following the end scene of Countdown where Kate is in the arms of Josh watching Castle walk away after several near-death experiences. He believed she had almost confessed she loved him, but she lost consciousness one second too soon. This story is dedicated to Norman, hope it is close to what you wanted my friend. We both had severe anxiety when Beckett just watched as Castle walked away watching her in the arms of Dr. Motorcycle Boy. _**WARNING: Caskett is NOT a guarantee in this AU story.**_

I don't own Castle, I use the characters for amusement purposes only

A/N I have addressed several reviews about bashing Kate, me not being for Caskett, and I am tired of reiterating that this is AU, if you want a rewrite as seen on TV then write it. Also when you see multiple chapters posted and start bashing something that is clarified in the next chapter expect to be called out. This is my hobby for fun, don't like it, then move on Thanks one reviewer who I blocked but it's best for us both if you return to writing your own stories, mine are not for you.

 **Chapter 11**

 **Previously**

Jacinda steps from the table, takes Rick into her arms and kisses him sweetly, gently and pouring all the passion in her heart into her lips, whispers "It'll be OK Rick, I promise you, not today, not tomorrow, but it'll get better" "You asked me a question before, the sex is the best I have ever had but there's more to this than that, BUT **you're not ready** Love, you may think you are but you aren't." "You're still in love with Kate, and until that ends it's not fair to you, or anyone to even begin to start more than a physical relationship, and Rick?

 **Harry's Steak House**

 **Los Angeles Ca 8:00 PM Local time**

 **Same Day**

The driver pulls into the parking lot of a neat but not fancy building, that appears to once have been part of a National Chain, with minimum decorations on the exterior of the building.

"Uncle Rick did the driver mess up, or is this your favorite restaurant for sure?" Beth asks shyly

"No Sweetie, this is it, come on, I think you will like it, once you get inside."

Rick, ever the gentleman holds the door for the ladies each saying thank you except Jacinda, who just kisses him sweetly as she walks in. Immediately from behind the Cashier Desk comes a short Italian man Rickeeeeeee, you are Back, I thought that you went hunting and the ducks ate you, Rosalee Come see who finally came back. A short heavy woman comes from the kitchen and proceeds straight to Rick with a big embrace and kiss on his cheek,

"How are you Rosalee, doing OK? And how's the lug over there, is he doing what the doctors are telling him?"

"Shhhhh Like anyone can tell him what to do, you know him better than anyone, and we are rude who are the lovely ladies you brought us this evening"

Rick introduces each one and each receive the hug, and the European kiss from both Harry and Rosalee, so Rickeee

"Which one is yours?" Harry jokes

Much to everyone's surprise Rick replied, "This one but I'm still in training, not in her league yet" as he kissed Jacinda. Beth is giggling and trying to get a picture and Courtney is smiling from ear to ear.

Harry takes them all through the kitchen to a private beautiful room, there with pictures of Rick from his earliest books to his latest, all adorning the walls. Each picture has a handwritten message and signature by Rick, obviously this couple is very special to him. They are seated and a whole staff of waiters are there in a minute,

"What's your dish here Uncle Rick? Beth asks politely,

"I'm not sure if you like steaks but this is the only place that can get mine done without making it as tough as a shoe, so I have the porterhouse, but all the dishes are great"

"How's Miss Alexis Ricky, growing like a weed, I bet,"

"Yes, she is Harry she is one year younger than Beth and will be graduating early so that means Dad is going to be alone soon, not needed at all"

"That's not true Uncle Rick, if anything we girls need our Dads, or special Uncles even more when we get to this age"

Jacinda and Courtney smile over at Rick, while Jacinda just squeezes his hand gently under the table

"That's sweet Beth, thanks honey," Rick says quietly.

"Guess you are wondering why this restaurant, why here, and why all the pictures," Well when I moved out here thinking I was supporting my family and Meredith's acting career, I needed to supplement my income so Harry hired me to play piano for the bar crowd, and allowed me to write back here, then it was more of a storage space but it was quiet, Rosalee watched Alexis some days or I never would have been able to publish my first novel."

"I was homesick for New York and they had recently moved here from a neighborhood near where I had lived, never short of friends or relatives visiting, so it brought comfort. When I caught Meredith cheating Harry and Rosalee took us in till I decided to go back to New York, the next month the book was on the best seller list and I come here for each new book, for good luck."

Harry speaks up then "He makes it sound like we did all the helping, I was sick and almost lost the restaurant, Ricky paid the bills for a year, then when Rosalee got the cancer we never saw one bill he paid everyone and he comes here for book launch parties to keep new customers coming into the restaurant, he is our adopted son and we love him, he's a good man"

Courtney is shedding a tear, and Beth is sniffling fighting back tears, as Jacinda just looks lovingly into his eyes, while holding his hands,

"You have such a big heart Richard Castle, you've made it your job to help others along the journey in life, and I am so proud to be part of your life, in anyway", then she leans in and whispers we all love you"

Somewhere between the speech and seeing the joy on Beth's face to get something she so deserved, Rick knew he had found his next project. He was going to devote his work to raise funds for young students like Beth, some had lost parents, some parents had lost jobs regardless he was not going to let these young minds go to waste. There were so many good young people deserving of a college education, without the means to pay for it.

He would need to sever his contract with Black Pawn, which meant one final Heat book, no worries there he had plenty of research material, he could have the boys do the vetting of the cases to insure they weren't too close to actual ones worked, leaving Beckett to live her life without him as she had wanted all along. If he could forget Kate, he knew that Jacinda would be more than friends with benefits, the big if, can he get over Beckett and how.

The evening goes by far too quickly and then the goodbyes and hugs are made to Harry and Rosalee, such a sweet couple and a very big part of Rick's life. Jacinda was making her mental notes, she wants Rick, but not on the rebound, he has to be over Kate, she's already had her heart broken once but that will remain silent for now

When they return to the hotel, there is no pretense where Jacinda is going to be, Courtney leans in and says good night to both, kissing Rick on the cheek, and embracing Jacinda, Beth is more dramatic, "Auntie J, have a good time, but be sure to be good to Uncle Rick, he gives so much to everyone we have to make him happy, and I think you do," she winks, then hugs Rick, "Thanks Uncle Rick that was special tonight, leaning something about you no on else knows, Thank you! And then kisses him good night"

 **Four Seasons Penthouse**

 **11:30 PM Local Time Same Day**

Jacinda walks with him hand in hand to the Penthouse, and as soon as the door closes turns and kisses him passionately against the door, "Rick, don't say a word, just let me hold you for a few minutes, I need you just to remind myself of all the good that is in this world.

No matter how crappy a hand life dealt you, the heart just got bigger to help others, how do you do it? I mean I thought my history was tragic, but I never knew your wife cheated on you right after your daughter was born, My God what kind of woman does that?"

Rick just stands and holds Jacinda comforting her as she weeps softly on his shoulder, "Care to talk about it, not being nosey, bur here if you want to talk, ok"

"Yeah, give me just a minute and I will be back, we need to talk about this before things go any further" Now Rick looks worried, as Jacinda steps into the master bath.

She returns a moment later, looking more together, but still Rick could tell something was deeply troubling her,

"I'm not pushing doll, I am right here to listen to as much or as little as you want to share"

"Rick, how did you get over the cheating, how did you go on?" Jacinda asks in a small voice

"I didn't for a long time, I hated her for everything she did to me, my pride was hurt, but then I realized that by hating her, I was creating an environment that I never wanted my little girl to witness, so it was either forgive her or kill her." Rick smiled,

Jacinda snuggled under this arm, and pulled his other arm around her, "With you I always feel safe, I am going to tell you things only Courtney knows about me, if you get to a part you don't want to hear, just hold up your hand OK?

"Of course, What you say here stays here, I trust you the same way,"

"Well you know I was engaged before, for a long time, it was almost 2 years, and we still hadn't set a date. I had just switched careers from Modeling to Flight Attendant when I met Jim, he was polite, and very respectful, but after we were together for awhile we had different ideas of what my role in the marriage would be. He thought we should buy a farm and raise a bunch of animals as well as kids, something that was out of the question to me. We had discussed my views on parenting when we were just dating, and thought we had the agreement that I didn't want kids"

Tears begin falling harder now, "Rick I'm not a bad person because I don't think I could be a good mother and I don't want my kids to go thru what I did, Am I? Mom strung out on drugs and alcohol, father never home, cheating on her constantly, hell if that was marriage then I didn't want it."

"Finally, Jim had enough and broke it off, and to be honest, it was the best thing that could happened. I wasn't even sad, I was relieved, and just threw myself into my work, getting multiple promotions in just a few years."

Rick sits with his arms around Jacinda, quietly and gently rocking her as he would a child, "Well about 6 months after making Senior Attendant, I met Ray, and I knew then that he was my soulmate. We spent every minute we had together, had the same taste in art, theater, political views, almost like I ordered him out of a catalog."

"I was so afraid I was going to lose him, he asked was there anyone in my past that he should know about, and I said no. He then rephrased it to say, So, no old boyfriends, fiance, no relationships that could pop up later, and again I said No, it was so stupid, and of course he found out that I had been engaged, shortly after he moved in. I had cleaned a space for his clothes out, but a bunch of letters, including the one announcing our engagement in the local paper had fell down and when he pulled out a shirt one day he found them."

"He asked me once again in a slow casual tone that I had no idea what he had found when I said no, he put the letters in my hand and said Good Bye, that was 11 months ago, I haven't seen or heard from him since".

Rick clears his throat, "so just to be clear, it's not only me who has to get over Kate, but you need to get over Ray before we go any further is that right?" "And It's OK if that is correct, I just want to be sure."

Tears flowing from Jacinda's eyes now and as Rick shifts, she thinks he is pulling away, she sobs "Please Rick, just hold me, please don't pull away from me"

"Sweetheart I'm right here, Thanks for being brave and honest, I know how hard it is to completely bare your soul, you told me no strings attached, you took me as the mess I am, do you think I am going anywhere now?" "I just think we need to revise one of your statements, it's both of us who are not ready for the next relationship, well not yet, but we are working on it," He leans in and kisses Jacinda sweetly and just holds her till all the tears subside.

"How do you feel now? Rick asks about 25 minutes of just sitting staring at the stars on the balcony

"Honestly? Totally Drained, physically, mentally and emotionally" "Thank you that was the first time I could get through the entire story, even Courtney doesn't know some parts."

"Jacinda, I'm not judging but I would bet that that Ray didn't fall out of love with you, I know how damaged my emotions get once I discover a lie, and sorry Hun that was a lie, not a little one either" We've talked about how Kate lied to me, I would bet that the last time Ray asked that question he was praying that you would come clean."

"Rick, I know that now, but that ship sailed I screwed up, and now I have to be sure you don't repeat my mistake. Don't get me wrong, I care about you, a great deal, but I won't be the reason that you and Kate are apart as long as there is a chance for you both." "The love in your voice, the things you have done for and with her, those aren't puppy love trinkets. Rick, I know what I am getting into, work it out with her if you can, I'll be here for you whenever I can, you can always fly free to see me, and we still have Beth's graduation in 3 weeks, you're still coming aren't you?

Rick smiled sadly, "Of course I'll be there as long as she or you want me, as for working it out with Kate, that might not be possible, but I owe it to you to try, really try and if things don't work out then we re-visit us, deal?"

"Deal", as Jacinda seals it with a deep kiss

There wasn't much talking the reminder of the evening as each felt a sense of freedom and Jacinda wanted to cram every minute of love in her final day, she could always sleep later.

A/N This chapter took on a whole different direction than I had planned, but it is needed for future developments, sorry for lack of Kate, we will get back to her soon. Thanks for the comments, reviews, favorites Appreciate it Greatly Tim


	12. Chapter 12

Down for the Count **by Castlefan6**

Authors Note: This is my AU version of events immediately following the end scene of Countdown where Kate is in the arms of Josh watching Castle walk away after several near-death experiences. He believed she had almost confessed she loved him, but she lost consciousness one second too soon. This story is dedicated to Norman, hope it is close to what you wanted my friend. We both had severe anxiety when Beckett just watched as Castle walked away watching her in the arms of Dr. Motorcycle Boy. _**WARNING: Caskett is NOT a guarantee in this AU story.**_

I don't own Castle, I use the characters for amusement purposes only

 **Chapter 12**

 **Previously**

He would need to sever his contract with Black Pawn, which meant one final Heat book, no worries there he had plenty of research material, he could have the boys do the vetting of the cases to insure they weren't too close to actual ones worked, leaving Beckett to live her life without him as she had wanted all along. If he could forget Kate, he knew that Jacinda would be more than friends with benefits, the big if, can he get over Beckett and how.

 **Beckett's Apartment**

 **6:00 AM**

 **Next Day**

Kate has spent another restless night thinking "If Only" for several different experiences, and some of the opportunities she had lost to tell Rick how she felt. Kyra Blaine kept rushing to her mind, and those words from Rick that cut her to the bone, _**"She's the one that got away"**_. She couldn't shake the images of them together talking all alone in the huge reception hall, and after the Groom had rushed Kyra back to their guests, the weak words from Rick, "Cake?" as he offered her the dish. Damn Him, why did she have to replay every hurtful act in HD in her dreams.

Later as she tried to understand and empathize with him on the elevator "She's real, I didn't think you went for real, tough breakup?"

His short answer with the hurt still showing in his voice "It was a long time ago" gave her all the answer she needed. He had been heartbroken and was in some way still reeling from it.

As if that weren't enough proof the surveillance of them kissing on the roof, "Why the hell did I order those, I didn't want to see him with her, but I did it anyway" then after confronting him with the envelope with the pictures, he counters with the correct thought that she abused resources, then she offered her weak excuses which she is sure he saw right through.

Other images of all the photos on page six and the beautiful women on his arm, knowing he was still bedding his ex-wives, Ellie Monroe, hell he even checked out Karpowski for God's sake. Not that she wasn't beautiful, but she was 20 feet away from her desk, if he knew she cared about him why would he, wait**** how would he know I cared, I never told him, in fact all my actions implied just the opposite. Now the tears began to fall, as she remembered all her actions and words, Rick didn't walk away, she threw him away. With words and men that she didn't even like that well. She has to fix this but how?

 **Four Seasons Penthouse**

 **Los Angeles CA 7:30 AM Local Time**

Rick awoke to find Jacinda still asleep, head on his chest, breathing gently, with her breasts rising with every inhale, God she was beautiful. He gently lowered her head to the pillow, covered her naked chest with the sheet and slipped into the guest bath on the other side of the suite. Last night had been difficult for both, a lot of raw emotions came out, and with the admission that he still cared for Kate, as much as he didn't want to, came a relief that he was not going back to his younger days of bed them and leave them days. Jacinda deserved more, he deserved more.

He was surprised at the fragility of her heart, and how deeply in love she was, and still is with Ray. She appeared so carefree and fun-loving, the sex was great, but she needs a friend who will be there for her, Gosh Rick, sound familiar as he conducts a quick self-assessment. They were alike in many ways, each hiding their inner secrets to almost everyone who knew them.

Today is their last day together, and he wanted to spend it in a way that would make Jacinda happy, he knows that it will be difficult if not impossible to connect for at least three weeks, and he is really going to miss her, she's not only a good in bed, but also good for him in all ways.

Rick checks his email and see's one marked important from his Entertainment Attorney firm, and as he opens it, he feels the arms slip around him from behind and a gentle kiss planted on his cheek,

"Good Morning Rick, why did you let me sleep so long, this is our last day for three weeks and I want to spend every minute I can with you."

"You were so beautiful when you slept, I couldn't bare to wake you," he says so sweetly, then adds "besides I was so turned on with your naked breasts rising with each breath you took, I had to cover you and get over here or I would have taken you right there"

Jacinda blushes then shyly asks, "Do I really turn you on Rick? I mean it's not other women you think about when we make love is it?" once again revealing the insecurities she has with body image.

"Do you really need me to answer that," Rick smiles, "because if you do we are going to have use the other bedroom while housekeeping cleans out here. Once I get you there, I'm not leaving you and will prove to you just how much desire I have for you."

Rick has set his laptop on the floor and has pulled Jacinda into his lap, looking into those eyes that just melt him every time. Jacinda kisses him slowly, almost like she is waiting for a response, and once his is given the kiss deepens and turns into a full-blown high school make out session, leaving each breathless.

Hands are all over her body caressing her in all of the erogenous zones, till finally she says shyly, "God I didn't even brush my teeth yet" causing Rick to roll with laughter, then she followed.

"Well, if morning breath, and make out sessions don't prove how much I desire you, then what will? Rick asks

"I'm sorry, it's just I know that I am leaving early tomorrow, and the last three days have been the best in a very long time, I'm not ready to say goodbye."

"We won't say goodbye, I will definitely see you in three weeks, BUT we will make it a point to talk every day, at least once, even if you are on an International Flight, call me collect, OK? I promise you, if I can get to you on one of your layovers I will be there, I swear" as Rick kisses her gently and passionately,

"Rick, I still haven't brushed my teeth, "

"I don't care but hurry up and do it and get back here as Rick hangs the Do Not Disturb sign on the suite. "I just have to answer one email and then I am yours for the day."

Rick glances at the email that he had opened, and responded quickly, "No time today, set up a conference call with her tomorrow from Lionsgate, I will be onsite After 1:00 PM. Respond with 5 reasons why you would and 5 why you would not hire her if it were your decision. Talk tomorrow, I am Out of Office remainder of the day"

Out of Office, but not out of the suite, all day. Jacinda was doing exactly what she wanted to do with her last day off.

 **Beckett's Apartment**

 **12:25 PM**

 **Same Day (Friday)**

Kate only had to survive today, and the weekend and thankfully she could return to work on Monday. She had cleaned her apartment every day to the point where now even the closets were spotless, so in boredom she turns on daytime TV. Expecting soap operas and new shows she was surprised to see Entertainment Tonight coming on in 5 minutes.

Grabbing a glass of wine, and setting her book aside she watches as the credits role then the reporters come on;

"Welcome to Entertainment Tonight where tonight we lead with a story coming from Los Angeles, It seems Richard Castle may have grown weary of the tabloids reporting on his affairs so, as you can see in the film airing now, he decided to record and furnish this to our affiliate station in Los Angelis, his comment to the photographers camped out at the Four Seasons Hotel to catch his slightest movement, put them on notice that he was aware they were there and it would be a waste of their time to try to sell photo's," the sound comes up loud as Rick can be heard saying, "Sorry guys you wasted your time and film" as he entered the limo.

Kate watches intensely as first a girl about Alexis age is assisted into the limo, then a very attractive African American petite female kisses Rick's cheek as he assists her into the limo, then finally the blond bombshell, beauty queen type is being escorted on his arm to the door, they stop and oh yeahhhhh that's the same lady from the NY Times photo so it isn't just a one night stand, turns and*** what the hell does she think she is doing kissing him like that, hey let him breathe for Christ Sake, get your tongue out of his mouth, now she knows how Rick felt with her PDA with Demming, Oh God she has been yelling at the television for God's sake. Kate breaks into tears as she hears her cell phone ringing, it's Lanie.

"Hey Lanie, sniff sniff, What's up"

"I was hoping to get in touch with you before you watched what I know by your sniffles you just saw, Come on Kate, it's not that bad"

"Not that Bad? Lanes you saw what I saw, she practically removed his tonsils with her tongue knowing it was going to be on National TV, and she just went hook line and sinker to brand him as hers"

"Oh, come on sweetie, it was just a kiss, I mean he's kissed a lot of women, hell he's been married before, had a kid, why is this Kiss got you so upset."

"Because I didn't know I loved him then" and then the sobs deepened so hard Lanie almost left to come over.

 **Four Seasons Penthouse**

 **Los Angeles CA 4:30 PM Local Time**

Rick and Jacinda had lounged all day, thoroughly enjoying each other multiple times, after Auntie J had slipped a text to Beth just with a picture of the Do Not Disturb sign on their door. They had laughed, talked, had room service sent up a few times, and both had thoroughly enjoyed the day. Jacinda spotted Rick's eyes, his tell for something was bothering him deeply, and she couldn't leave knowing he was troubled.

"Rick, why don't you just say what ever it is that has you so uptight and worried, you've been brooding for the last hour"

"Jacinda, last night we talked a lot about me trying to get back with Kate, at least as a friend if nothing else, but we didn't talk about you and Ray"

"What about him Rick? He's gone, obviously I screwed it up so bad he wants nothing to do with me so what's the issue?"

"What if you're wrong, and what if he contacts you Jacinda?" "I mean none of us ever know, but we need to be on the same page so no more hurt is suffered, OK?"

"What are you saying Rick, I think I know but I want to hear it from your lips"

"We started these last 3 days as friends, that turned to lovers, that has turned into Best Friends who I could fall in love with IF my heart were free, which you pointed out so eloquently last night, it still belongs to Kate, regardless of if she knows it or not"

"Loving someone is much different than being in Love and I think we both know we Love each other, but are still in love with someone else"

Jacinda is sitting quietly now gently caressing his leg as she sits in the V of his legs, she leans back and captures his lips in a very tender and sweet kiss,

"You're right Rick, I do Love you, but I'm still in love with Ray, just like you're still in Love with Kate, God how I wish either of us weren't" as a tear falls from her eye.

"Hey Jacinda, It's OK, remember the deal you made me make with you, I am going to try to work things out with Kate, if she only wants friendship then as you say I move on, and I know you won't feel like a rebound, but I also know that given time I could fall in love with you, since I already love you."

"Now the hard part for me, you have to promise me, that if there is anyway you can contact Ray, you will, and if there is hope for your happiness with him you will jump on it with all of your might." "You're far too special to live alone or be someone's backup, you deserve what your heart wants, and now that is Ray. If someday it becomes me, then love, we have both won you promise?"

Jacinda is crying but nods her head, "No doll, I have to hear you promise me you will put your heart first this time" Rick whispers

"I promise Jacinda finally says through a sea of tears"

They fall together in the bed, just one sweet loving kiss, then Jacinda takes Ricks hand as she lays her head on his chest, "Love is Hard," she whispers

"I know, I feel like I've been in a knockdown drag out, and I am **down for the count**." Rick replies softly.

A/N Stopping here, sorry for the rants earlier, but I get aggravated at multiple reviews from the same person trying to bash me for my position. This story is written with the same preconceived thoughts as Love's Journey. Caskett was born out of a Love Story, anyone who has lived more than a year knows that rain falls on us all, AND as AU I don't follow MilMar's script. I had one review that touched my heart, **(thank you Paula,)** that she trusted I would do right by the characters, you may not know where we are headed, but know that I appreciate the Trust each places in me to deliver quality story that will resonate with you and keep the characters as true as possible. Thanks Tim


	13. Chapter 13

Down for the Count **by Castlefan6**

Authors Note: This is my AU version of events immediately following the end scene of Countdown where Kate is in the arms of Josh watching Castle walk away after several near-death experiences. He believed she had almost confessed she loved him, but she lost consciousness one second too soon. This story is dedicated to Norman, hope it is close to what you wanted my friend. We both had severe anxiety when Beckett just watched as Castle walked away watching her in the arms of Dr. Motorcycle Boy. _**WARNING: Caskett is NOT a guarantee in this AU story.**_

I don't own Castle, I use the characters for amusement purposes only

 **Chapter 13**

 **Previously**

"Oh, come on sweetie, it was just a kiss, I mean he's kissed a lot of women, hell he's been married before, had a kid, why is this Kiss got you so upset."

"Because I didn't know I loved him then" and then the sobs deepened so hard Lanie almost left to come over.

 **Four Seasons Penthouse**

 **Los Angeles CA 6:30 AM Local Time**

The morning finds Beth, Courtney and Jacinda all huddled close to Rick, in his suite, today is the day that they leave, and none are ready. Two are dressed in crisp Flight Attendant uniforms, complete with wings, and one is in a fashionable pant suit fit for a young professional. Jacinda had left the suite only long enough to pack and bring her uniform back early in the morning as she and Rick had one more goodbye session.

"Uncle Rick, I know you are really busy, and I WANT you to come to my graduation, but if you are tied up and can't make it, I will still love you anyway, I know it's a long way to come for just a graduation."

"Beth, I have it on my calendar and my Jet has been scheduled already, I WILL be here for your graduation, and there is no more important event than yours that day, I promise" as he draws the young lady in for a hug.

"Courtney, you take care of yourself and my new favorite niece, remember I'm always only a phone call away,"

"Thanks Rick, I, we, will never be able to repay your kindness, you have changed both our lives forever, and we'll make you proud, if it's the last thing we do," as she kisses Rick on the lips briefly then his cheek, fighting back tears.

"Auntie J, Aunt Cortney and I will meet you in the lobby, don't make us miss the shuttle to the airport please" as she hugs Jacinda, who is now blushing,

Then it's time, and affecting them both more than they had expected,

"I'll call you when we land in Boston, it's the last leg of our trips today, God I miss you already" Jacinda whispers as she begins to cry

"Hey there, I will talk to you tonight, I'll miss you like crazy, but don't forget your promise to me, please?" Rick can barely get out.

"I won't, I got to go or the makeup I put on will be all over my tissue, I Love you Rick, and I'll talk to you tonight, and every night"

"I love you too Jacinda, It's going to kill me but I promise I will keep my promise to you, I'll talk to you tonight," One kiss then another and another each getting longer and finally Rick takes her hands, "you have to go Doll, talk to you tonight" as she turns and walks out the door.

Rick leans against the door, just thinking about the last few days reliving how his spirit had come back alive and how Jacinda had challenged him to contact Kate, and let things fall where they may, he promised, but not today.

He took the elevator down and used the private entrance to the parking garage, jumped into the convertible and headed to the studio, he had to keep busy or he would go crazy.

 **Lionsgate Studios**

 **7:45 AM Local Time Friday**

The ride to the studio was relaxing, especially with the lighter traffic this early in the morning. As he pulled into the gate he was surprised to see his friend Lennard,

"Don't you ever leave here Lennard?" he laughed

"They take me out for cleaning at least once a week" he quipped back, "Good to see you again Mr. Castle, you go ahead, and park and I will be right with you if you don't mind sir."

Lennard brought the club car around and Rick got in and said, "I'm early for my first meeting Lennard, anyplace we can grab a coffee and relax for a few minutes?"

"Sure, in fact that will let me keep my appointment with my niece, I think you are meeting with her soon anyway" Lennard replied

Lennard made a few turns and went over one and through another archways that Rick had not seen before and there it was, the coffee shop and restaurant to serve the sound stages, of Lionsgate Studios, it was appropriately named "The Lions Den". Lennard pulled into a reserved parking spot, and placed a placard on the mirror of the club car and said, "follow me Mr. Castle, it's nothing fancy, but the coffee is good, and the food is always fresh".

As they walked in Lennard said my niece is going to be surprised to see you this early, then Rick spotted the young lady from the first meeting waving at Lennard. As soon as he saw her a sparkle came into his eyes and he whispered, "I love this one like my own, she treats me better and is such a sweet person.". Rick noticed just a twinge of apprehension when she noticed he was with Lennard, but that quickly faded as Lennard greeted her with a hug and introduced her to his friend Rick Castle.

"Hi Jan, I know we met the other day in the meeting, but it was crowded, and we didn't get to speak much, how are you doing?

"Good Morning Mr. Castle,"

"Oh, please call me Rick, God Mr. makes me feel so old" he smiles

"OK Good Morning Rick, I could tell by some of your questions, repeated several times for some of our not so bright light bulbs in our chandelier" she laughs "that you were not happy at all. I spoke to Uncle Lenny who was quite impressed at your take charge attitude.

"Thanks Jan, it surprised me that Bob would have let things erode this far without at least reaching out to me, I have lost money on projects before but never because the manager got to tired or lazy to fight for what was right."

"Yeah, I spoke to your Entertainment Lawyers and must say, I got grilled pretty hard in the questions, you have one of the best firms in the business there Rick."

"Guess I'm responsible for some of those questions, Jan, I apologize but if things work the way I see, **** well what time is our meeting any way."

"It's in an hour so why don't we grab a coffee and relax for 30 minutes, no shop talk, OK" Jan smiles, and Rick notices a really sweet and innocent beauty about her,

Coffee and small talk and before you know it, Lennard was directing Jan and Rick to the Club Car, and they were on their way back to the main stage area for their meeting.

"Thanks Uncle Lenny", Jan whispers as she politely shakes his hand to keep up the appearances.

"Just page me Mr. Castle and I will be here to take you to your next destination." Lennard says a bit louder than usual as he winks at Jan.

The meetings go off without a hitch, and as Rick reviews his summary of reasons to hire, all were sold on Jan's qualifications and knowledge, but also her strong ethical stance, no short cuts and if you don't or can't fight for a client or cause then don't take the case. She had been also cleared in a detailed background check.

As the current Director of Legal was speaking the same old speak Rick had heard over and over Rick suddenly raised his hand in the Talk to the Hand Position, and finally got the attention of Barney or whatever his name was,

"Excuse me, but you're fired, HR has your packet go see them, including your right to appeal, if you do, and you lose, which I guarantee you that you will, you lose the severance package that is very generous, and now get out of here."

You could hear a pin drop in the room as the footsteps led to the door, it is opening, then the slamming of the door and silence.

Rick looks up and says, "OK whose next on our agenda" and one after another the same scenario was played out till the only ones remaining were Jan, and the youngest attorneys. "OK now we have the house cleaning done, Jan can you take the podium please."

Jan nervously approached the podium, and Rick put her out of her misery quickly, "Ladies and gentlemen please meet Jan Henderson, the new Director of Legal, she will be hiring some replacements over the next few weeks so I would expect you all to pitch in where needed, although from what I have witnessed, not a lot was done by those who are no longer with us."

"Jan, we need to talk about your new salary and outline an action plan when you catch your breath," Rick laughs "Call Bob at the office, he has an offer package waiting for you, let me know if you have any issues, if not be sure I am cc'd on your acceptance agreement".

Lennard is waiting by the Club Car with a huge smile on his face,

"What?" Rick tries to play off innocently

"You made a great decision, actually several in the last 3 days" Lennard says

"Really, you think so" Lenny using Jan's name for him

Absolutely Rick, the whole studio is on fire and the excitement hasn't been this high in I don't know how long"

Rick gives Lenny/AKA Lennard/Sheldon his business card, "This is my cell, you call me if you see anything go amiss, or if anyone tries to sabotage the new leaders OK?"

"You got it Rick, it'll be my pleasure"

 **Castle's Penthouse,**

 **Four Seasons Hotel**

 **4:00 Local Time Friday**

Castle is back in his suite, and the loneliness of Jacinda, Beth and Courtney gone finally hits home. He is sitting in his living area when he see's a letter sticking out of his other jacket pocket, and as he pulls it out, the handwriting immediately lets him know it is from Jacinda.

" _Dear Rick,_

 _Thanks for a fantastic three days, and for opening your heart, (and wallet) for Beth, Courtney but most of all for me. You gave me something that I will never forget, the confidence to approach my past, and as you say let the chips fall where they may. I truly hope you don't wait too long to contact Kate, she may have screwed up, but I have to believe there is something there, Please Rick, neither of us wants to be what the other one_ _settled_ _for, no one wants to be that. So, if you and I can't save what each of our hearts want, then we know we will always have each other. Until you came into my life, I could never explain the difference between being in love, and loving someone, Thank You for teaching me that. By the time you read this we should be on our last leg of todays trip, just know that by know I have thought of you a million times and missed you so bad my heart aches. I will talk to you soon Love, and I can now say with confidence I do Love You_

 _Love_

 _J._

Rick smiles and thinks I don't know where this is going but I promised her I would give it my best, so no time like the present.

 **Beckett's Apartment**

 **8:12 PM EST Friday Night**

Kate is trying her best to stay away from the news channels, and Entertainment News for fear of more sightings of Rick with HER. She is making work for herself to keep busy, ironing and re-ironing blouses that she plans on wearing when she returns to the Precinct on Monday, when her phone chirps with HIS ringtone for a Text. She almost burns herself trying to get to the phone and read the message.

 _Kate,_

 _Not sure of your schedule but I think a phone call is in order, I have re-read your last text and appreciate the difficulty you had with it, but there are still so many unanswered questions from my end, we need to talk. I'm available for the next 90 minutes if you get this and are free, please feel free to call,_

 _Rick_

Kate can hardly believe that he actually texted but also it has set aside some time to talk, she hits the speed dial button she has never deleted and listens for the ring.

On the second ring she is rewarded with that deep baritone voice,

"Hi Kate, I'm glad you called"

"Really?" She squeaks like a high school girl with a crush

"Really. I'm sorry if this is awkward for you but it's not comfortable on my end either, so why don't you start by telling me the things you wanted to say but couldn't put on paper".

Wow he was jumping right into the meat, no messing around

"OK, I know Alexis and you spoke after our ah meeting, and she did send me another text of apology, thank you for that, it wasn't necessary but Thank You. I know she told you that Josh and I broke up, but not sure she knew when. It was immediately after you left the station Rick, I never asked him to come, and I should have never let you leave after what we had just gone through together."

"I'm not sure how much you remember, Hell, I'm not even sure if it was real or just my mind playing tricks on me to get me through an almost certain death." "I did find out later that the reason I cane out of the hypothermia faster than you was that you were only wearing the outside of your jacket, you had wrapped the warmer lining around me."

"I don't think I even said Thank You to you once you left the ambulance and Josh, they said you should have stayed there longer but I can understand why that was the last place you wanted to be."

"Thank You Rick for saving my life, in the freezer and every other time you have put yourself last and me first, I realize now how selfish I have been, and I'm sorry, please forgive me."

"I know I was a second away from telling you my feelings or at least I think I was, maybe it was the hypothermia, maybe it's wishful thinking on my part, but I know I blacked out before I finished what I was going to say."

"Then when we were standing by the car, I acted all love eyes for Josh, thinking him coming back was his proclamation of love to and for me, what a fool I was. I know that hurt you deeply and I am truly sorry, I never intended to rub him in your face, ever."

Rick had not said a word, but Kate could hear his steady breathing, so she knew he was still there, then he spoke in such a hurt tone, like his heart had been ripped out of his body, "Never intended to rub him in my face Kate? I seem to recall the case with the murdered Doctor where you and I quote " **He saved a life this morning Castle, what did you do** , make waffles?" I think you need to refresh your memories of our conversations and examine your responses, sorry, I interrupted, please continue" as some of the composure came back to his voice.

"Castle, (pauses) Rick, I'm so sorry, I know I have said a lot of cruel things to you, I'd take them all back in an instant if I could, I swear. I really would like to see you, to tell you all this face to face so you can see it's not just another apology, even the rare ones I did offer."

"When are going to be back in town, can we have lunch or at least meet for an hour, I still have so much to say I'm sorry about and the phone just doesn't sound as sincere as I need it to be."

Kate is determined to wait, and it almost reaches a full minute before Rick replies.

"Things have changed since I last saw you, I'm not sure when I am coming back, and when I do I have meetings I must conduct with Black Pawn and discuss some serious matters with Alexis and Mother."

At the mention of Alexis, Kate knows things don't bode well for her, yet she tries to keep positive and not cry.

"I've seen the Times and ET and I know I blew my chance, she looks lovely and certainly makes you happy"

After a long pause Rick finally replies, "her name is Jacinda, I've been on several flights with her crew, and yes she does make me happy Kate,"

Kate is really fighting hard to hold back the tears, "Well as long as you are happy that's all that counts, " "Rick, I really am ***"

"Kate, I'll be home for this weekend, only till Monday, and you're right, we need to do this face to face" I'll see you Sunday morning at the swings 11:00 AM now I have to go talk to you Sunday"

"Thanks Rick" she barely get out before the line goes dead, She has one shot so she better have it all laid out, or she knows she won't get another chance she can tell in his voice that he really didn't want to meet yet something was forcing him to take the meeting. She can't get the words "yes she does make me happy" out of her mind, She can only pray there is something to build on, as she begins to cry.


	14. Chapter 14

Down for the Count **by Castlefan6**

Authors Note: This is my AU version of events immediately following the end scene of Countdown where Kate is in the arms of Josh watching Castle walk away after several near-death experiences. He believed she had almost confessed she loved him, but she lost consciousness one second too soon. This story is dedicated to Norman, hope it is close to what you wanted my friend. We both had severe anxiety when Beckett just watched as Castle walked away watching her in the arms of Dr. Motorcycle Boy. _**WARNING: Caskett is NOT a guarantee in this AU story.**_

I don't own Castle, I use the characters for amusement purposes only

A/N Responding to a guests reviews "Just like Kate Beckett needs to be more honest in her relationships." The difference is that Jacinda is working on Rick not to repeat her mistake, thereby acknowledged it and Kate is still in the it wasn't my fault mode, agreed honesty is the key to lasting relationships, Guest 2 It's not anger, if you read closely you can see the Hurt in his voice, Thanks for the review

 **Chapter 14**

 **Previously**

After a long pause Rick finally replies, "her name is Jacinda, I've been on several flights with her crew, and yes she does make me happy Kate,"

Kate is really fighting hard to hold back the tears, "Well as long as you are happy that's all that counts, ""Rick, I really am ***"

"Kate, I'll be home for this weekend, only till Monday, and you're right, we need to do this face to face" I'll see you Sunday morning at the swings 11:00 AM now I have to go talk to you Sunday"

 **Castle's Penthouse**

 **9:42 PM Friday Night**

Rick is sitting in the chair where he and Jacinda have had so many moments, breathing a scent of her fragrance, replaying how he felt now that he has heard Kate's voice. He was surprised he wasn't as angry, as he thought he would be. Jacinda had been clear that no conversation could ever be fruitful when one party was more interested in revenge than reconciliation, and he had promised her he would do his best.

He had already arranged to have his jet ready to fly home tonight, the memories and loneliness were just too much to take. He would leave as soon as Jacinda and he talked and return Tuesday to start the inquires for his new passion, until Beth's graduation, or he could sneak a trip to where Jacinda got time off at.

Truth be told, he could do this from New York as easy as Los Angeles, except he wasn't ready to be accessible to one NY Detective, and he knew that he would cave as he always had in the past if he were around her. Talking was just the first step, proving that she had changed, and was willing to commit to him more than a case, another Flavor of the Month Badge Monkey Magnet, (Demming) or the latest Hero out to save the world. She may have been oblivious to his feelings before but after Alexis had her talk with her, he was certain she knew the story.

His phone begin to ring with Jacinda's tone, and as arranged he opened the Skype app, there she was, looking as beautiful as ever, but so tired.

"Hi Doll, tough day? You look exhausted."

"Oh Rick, I miss you so much and today was a bitch to come back too, delays in Kansas, and then we had mechanical problems in Cleveland, we were supposed to be here in Boston 3 hours ago, I'm sorry it's so late"

"Sweetie you are tired, remember I'm a few hours behind you," as he laughs and sees that gorgeous smile break out on her.

"Duhhh, wrong coast, leaving you was tough in so many ways. I think Courtney is worse than I am, she cried whenever your name came up, she told me that no one had ever showed as much love in such a short period of time, not only to her, but Beth and me."

Rick is listening smiling and picturing Courtney, her beautiful eyes spilling over with tears,

"Well, it's easy to show love when those people are as lovable as you all are, I saw your eyes and I was a goner, then add the other two, I felt like I was Charley and you were my Angels,"

Rick see's the smile saved just for him spread across Jacinda's face, and for a few moments nothing is said, jus looking into the screen at each other.

"I wish I could kiss you now so bad,"

"I know I do too, I couldn't get those kisses out of my mind all day, Courtney would catch me smiling for no reason and walk up making the fish face saying Kissy Kissy"

"Hun how did your day go, you've heard me rant about mine."

"Well, we finalized everything at the studio, and I have someone I can trust running two of the departments that were causing most of the problems, young lady named Jan Henderson took over Legal and Marta Williams was promoted to Managing Director" but Jacinda picks up on something, in Rick's body language,

"Anything else to share Hun? I know your tells, you are aware of that by now aren't you"

"Well, I re-read Kate's last text and then sent her a message to call me to talk. She called within 5 minutes, it didn't upset me or make me angry like I thought it would, so that's progress."

"Rick, there is more to tell, and Sweetie you are not hurting me, I am the one pushing you to get this settled, OK?"

"Yeah, but after I read your sweet letter, I don't know anymore, ***"

"And you won't not till you can look at her, and in all honesty say to her and yourself, I care about you, BUT You're just someone I used to love, my heart belongs to another"

"Well, I thought you would say something like that so I'm actually leaving for New York in a few hours" Rick whispers,"

"To see Kate?" Jacinda asks quietly,

"Well part of it, but mostly I need to meet with my publisher and legal team to submit my Termination to Contract notification to Black Pawn"

"Rick, you sure you want to do that, I mean isn't writing your life?"

"I'm sure Jacinda, if my efforts to get this passion off the ground fails I can always go back, but when I read Beth's story it hit me, how many others would never get an opportunity they deserve?"

"I mean I have more money than My Grandkids I don't have yet will ever need, when is it enough, and time to do something that makes you feel good allover"

"Rickkkkkkkkk, "

"Yes," Rick notices that Jess is out of camera range like she had stepped aside, "I can't see you,"

"How about now", as she steps back into view with the baby doll pajamas Rick had bought her after their first night, "I love you, but please be kind to Kate, I know she hurt you, but please give her a chance, for me, OK?"

"I will, but things are different, maybe it's me just standing up for myself for a change, but I promise I will be kind"

Jacinda has moved the camera and herself to her bed and is fighting a yawn,

"I know you are exhausted J, I'll just say good night, and I love you, OK?"

"Hey, don't forget my kiss," as she blows a kiss on the screen, and Rick returns it.

"I love you too Rick, Good Night Sweetie, I'll text you my schedule tomorrow, Safe Travels Love" as the screen goes blank

 **Castle's Loft**

 **Saturday 9:15 AM EST**

Rick enters the loft, and is immediately greeted by a ball of red hair jumping into his arms just as she did a few short years ago,

"Dad, it's so good to have you home again, we've missed you, how was Los Angeles, how are things going with Jacinda, do you have to go back and when" Rushing out all in one breath.

"Slow down Pumpkin, it's great to be home too, I'm flying back Tuesday, things were great in L.A., and how do you know about Jacinda, make that What do you know about her?"

Alexis smiles and says, "you're not the only one who knows a guy", and starts laughing,

"What do you mean, who do you know and what did they say?" Rick peppers the questions then notices Alexis starting to crack a smile and his Mother sleeking out of the kitchen

"Oh, very funny Mother, turning my own against me", then laughing as his mother comes to kiss his cheek.

"Good to have you home Darling,"

"Good to be home, but only for a short while this time"

"Ohhh really are you going back to the studio," Martha asks

"Well it's time for a family meeting, and I think we all need to hear everyone before they utter their opinions, just saying Mother"

Rick went through the meeting with Jacinda, Courtney and Beth, and how he was surprised at even with all the talent in the world, without the connections, you wouldn't be able to chase your dreams. He explained to Alexis just how emotional he got when he compared Beth's life to hers, and it was so simple to fix. A few phone calls, a promise to deliver a speech and she had her full ride scholarship.

He also explained that he had flown on several flights with Jacinda and her crew, including International Flights, and had an opportunity to get to know them, and the friendship had grown to more than a one-night stand and fodder for the Tabloids.

He explained the reason to release the official video was to take away the power of the rag magazines. This wasn't new to Alexis since they had spoken, and she was fully aware and was proud of her Dad for fighting back.

The next part was the toughest, for both Alexis and Martha, who couldn't have been more pleased to see Rick with a beautiful woman who obviously loved being with him, regardless of the press or not, and did not shed a tear for the forgotten Detective.

As Rick explained the dynamics of their relationship, leaving out some of the more personal details, it was enough for them to know that he was going to work on a friendship with Kate, with not only Jacinda's knowledge but her encouragement.

"Dad, I'm young I know but why would Jacinda want you anywhere near Beckett, especially after she hurt you like she has."

"Alexis", Martha speaks up "do you remember how you felt a few years ago when you found out that you weren't the first choice for Ashley's junior prom, that he actually asked Paige first, "

"Grams what has that got to do with this, besides I was hurt, I thought I was her leftovers"

"Dear, you've just answered your own question, Jacinda is a very smart woman who wants to know that if her and your Dad do take the relationship farther, she is not, as you put it Katherine's leftovers".

Rick walks over to his Mother and kisses her on the cheek, "Sometimes Mother you surprise me, and Thank You for explaining it so well.

Rick then explains that Jacinda in her wisdom does want to protect his heart as well, so Rick explained about Ray giving enough details to allow the red heads to understand that two broken hearted people had found each other, love each other, but remain in love with someone else till they can finally resolve it. Rick has to resolve his being in love with Kate, and Jacinda must locate and resolve her love for Ray, all the while still loving and supporting each other in their efforts.

"Dad, I'm sorry if my boyfriend wanted time to figure out if his last relationship was the "ONE" as she makes Air Quotes with her fingers, I would bounce him to the curb so fast, what am I missing here?"

Martha dryly replies, "about thirty years sweetheart, love changes as we grow older, but it still has to be with right one for the right reason, or it will never work out".

"Love is hard Darling, someday when you are older you will understand, I know that's not an explanation you can accept, but that's really all there is to it, with maturity comes more forgiveness, less revenge and a deeper love."

"I know there have been times when I thought my love life was down for the count, but somehow, someone came into my life and breathed life back into me, and made me love again."

"If this is something your father needs to do, then we support him, and we support what ever person that comes into his life to make him happy, that's all we want, right Alexis?"

"As long as it isn't Det****"

"I said RIGHT Alexis" Martha has that glare in her eye she seldom ever shows.

"Right Dad, we support you in whatever you do, we love you"

"Good I'm glad that is over with, and we are clear, I have some calls to make to setup appointments with Black Pawn, then I'm due a nap, I'm exhausted."

 **Castle's Loft**

 **Saturday 1:35 PM EST**

Rick has just showered after a two-hour nap, and dressed in comfortable jeans and polo shirt, when the door buzzer rings, "I've got it he yells" and heads to the door, opening it he is greeted with arms, lips, and kisses till he realizes it's Jacinda, with her suitcase behind her.

"Jacinda, How, what why" he stammers, as he is carrying her into the loft.

"Did you see the news, there is a problem with the 747's and they've grounded over half our fleet, I am off for the next 5 days, that is if you want me here"

Her answer came in the form of a kiss before She had time to make another sound, all of this witnessed by Martha and Alexis,

"Grams, Alexis whispered, "I like her, did you see Dad's face light up,"

"I agree Kiddo, let's give them a few minutes before we interrupt, you father has probably forgotten there is anyone else around by now"

Jacinda is the one that pulls away from a much needed, and deeply passionate kiss, "Rick isn't your daughter and or Mother home?"

Martha chooses that moment "Welcome Darling, I'm Martha Rogers this scoundrels' mother, and I swear I did teach him proper manners" as Jacinda laughs, she likes Martha already.

Alexis comes forward a bit more shyly, "Welcome, I'm Alexis, and I am sure my Dad has bored you to death with stories about all he thinks I have accomplished" she laughs, then adds, "What do you prefer I call you Jacinda, or is there some other name?" Alexis smiles a genuine and warm smile

"Thanks Alexis, Jacinda or just J as your Dad has started calling me since he met my best friend Courtney's niece, Beth who calls me Auntie J"

"Oh, how is Courtney and where did she get stuck at" Rick asks concerned

"Well, we were short for the Red Eye back to LA last evening from Philly, so she took it as a favor for me. Turns out she is stuck at he home airport and Beth and her can spend some time together. I drove in from Philly as soon as I got the word we were grounded, I'm sorry I didn't call first."

"We're glad you came" Alexis steps up and takes her hand, "let me show you around and offer you a drink, DAD, she scolds," as Jacinta looks at Rick and laughs, After a quick tour of the downstairs and a needed trip to the facilities, Jacinda comes over and sits down beside Rick, who has prepared her favorite drink. She blushes shyly as Rick pulls her into his lap,

"It's OK J, they know about it all, and they just want us both to be happy,"

Martha has placed Jacinda's bags in Rick's room, and when Jacinda see's it oh Martha, I don't want to **"

"Oh Darling, I know my son, and with the beautiful creature that you are, he would be sneaking up the stairs in what he thinks is stealth mode, and waking us both up", as Alexis laughs

"It's true, besides I saw the photo's and the ET Tape" as Jacinda's face flushes, "It's fine, really We're glad he found someone to make him this happy."

"Thank you both, I guess you know it's complicated, but we are working on making it uncomplicated", she smiles, as Martha waved her hand as if saying that's your business,

A few hours, a couple of pizzas and a lot of laughter later they are all saying good nights to each other. Rick takes Jacinda by the hand and leads her to his room, and kisses her like he has wanted to do, all night. "Well what did you think, did I tell you the truth?"

"Rick they are so lovely, and your Mom is a hoot," as Rick grimaces slightly, "please don't remind me he laughs"

"I missed you so much, and don't tell me it's been less than 48 hours, I know but you spoiled me, and I have an ache that only you can take away,

Rick proceeds to spoil and love the night away and somewhere around 3:00 AM he is pretty sure the ache is gone for now.

A/N I didn't want to rush the Swing Scene coming up, but I thought Rick could really use some support from someone he knew loves him for this, just in case,

Thanks for the follows, favorites, and comments. I answer all I can and post all those that are respectful and don't bash one character or the other, please if you are reviewing be sure you have read A/N where I have corrected something, I would suggest you read all the way through posted chapters then comment them individually if you wish


	15. Chapter 15

Down for the Count **by Castlefan6**

Authors Note: This is my AU version of events immediately following the end scene of Countdown where Kate is in the arms of Josh watching Castle walk away after several near-death experiences. He believed she had almost confessed she loved him, but she lost consciousness one second too soon. This story is dedicated to Norman, hope it is close to what you wanted my friend. We both had severe anxiety when Beckett just watched as Castle walked away watching her in the arms of Dr. Motorcycle Boy. _**WARNING: Caskett is NOT a guarantee in this AU story.**_

I don't own Castle, I use the characters for amusement purposes only

A/N PLEASE no bashing of Rick or Kate in reviews, this was a tough scene to write,

 **Chapter 15**

 **Previously**

A few hours, a couple of pizzas and a lot of laughter later they are all saying good nights to each other. Rick takes Jacinda by the hand and leads her to his room, and kisses her like he has wanted to do, all night. "Well what did you think, did I tell you the truth?"

"Rick they are so lovely, and your Mom is a hoot," as Rick grimaces slightly, "please don't remind me he laughs"

Jacinda woke up slightly disorientated with all of the travel, then she heard the deep steady breaths of her partner, raising her head to take him all in, she just laid her head gently on his chest. A moment later she is being pulled into a sweet snuggle, with a sweet kiss on her head. She just leans into him and in a few minutes is back fast asleep.

She opens her eyes to see that Rick is up and showered, dressed and sitting with a hot cup of coffee just to her side, when he notices her stir,

"Good morning Sleepy Head sleep well?"

"Which time Romeo seems someone else was also wired last night" she husked with that sexy raspy voice.

"Good Morning Rick I slept great, I turned over once disorganized then I laid my head on your chest, and I was out the moment you pulled me into that sweet hug" she smiled at him. "What time is it anyway?"

"It's almost 9:00" as Rick handed her a coffee he had poured out of a thermal container, just the way she loved it

"Sunday Right?"

"Yeah it's Sunday", Rick sounded upset, worried

"Rick? Tell me, what is it?"

"I have to meet Kate at 11:00 and now I wish I didn't, I don't want to leave you for a minute."

"Hey, I'll be fine, it's just a few hours Hun, we both have to work through this to be sure we don't do to each other what others have already done to us."

"It's strange that just a week or so ago I would have been pacing back and forth, so excited to get another chance, but today, well I need to know positively that she has changed, no more lip service, I really don't think I could stand another lie from her"

"Rick, please listen with your heart as well as your ears, you are a kind man, please don't let pride or hurt feelings ruin your chance at your happiness. You will know if it is true, you can feel it love, please trust me"

"Now get out of here and let me drink my coffee and shower while you are gone, I'll see you when you get back, and Rick ******** to answer that question you're churning in your mind, YES, I still Love you now go, or you'll be late."

 **The Swings**

 **Sunday, 10:55 AM**

Kate has been up and ready since 6:00 AM and she is sitting on the swings, facing the direction she knows Castle will arrive from. She has rehearsed and practiced what she wanted to say to him for hours, but she just wasn't sure if it would be enough to save even their friendship, much less anything else.

She has strained her eyes to see anyone that looked like Rick heading her way, without success, when suddenly she was startled and heard, "Hello Kate, thanks for coming," it was Rick, but he was coming from the backside and held a single Java Joe coffee cup, setting the tone of the rest of the meeting.

"I'm sorry I startled you, but I had some business from to take care of and came directly from there."

"You wanted to meet face to face Kate, so here I am, I promise you I am not out for revenge or to hurt you, but I'm not sure what you have to add that we haven't already talked about on the phone. Why don't you say what's on your mind, and then I will do the same" as he assumes his position on the swing, with his arms clasped in front of him.

Kate is thinking one coffee, and he's not even excited to see me, even when I rose to give him a welcome hug, he just sat down, this is going to be harder than I thought.

"Rick, I'm not the one good with words, you are but I am going to do my best, so please be patient with me, I know you have heard some of this on the phone, but I am praying that you will listen with your heart as well, you know how hard it is for me to do this, so please, please don't dismiss it right away."

"I admit when you first came to the station, I resented the fact that you were forced onto our team, in case you haven't guessed by now, I am not a sharer of information, especially about my private life."

"I know at first you came on the like the Playboy persona that you thought women were attracted to, but then as we talked, and I met your family, I saw beyond that charade, and just how wonderful a Dad, Son, and human being you were." "I never told you that you were my Mom's favorite author and that when I was just a beat cop, I stood in line for hours just to get a copy of your book signed, it seemed to bring me closer to my Mom."

"I know meeting Sorenson, especially the way you did, and catching us in a kiss, in the break room, sent mixed signals to you, and I'm sorry for that. One day I was flirting back with you and your inuendo, then kissing my ex?

"What the hell was I thinking, and you called me on it, you were right as usual, but I thought I was so far out of your league, that maybe, just maybe I had another shot at happiness with Will. You know the boys and Lanie hate him with a passion, and the only reason Montgomery allowed us to assist on that case was to rub it his face that he screwed up when he left me, they are all very protective of me I'm sure you have learned"

"The news that you had violated my trust and looked into my Mom's murder did hurt, but I was so wrong to get wrapped around the fact I was betrayed, rather than thank you for doing what you thought you should to help a friend even knowing the consequences."

"Hell, I know that Doctor that worked with Lanie didn't come cheap, PLUS you opened the truth for three additional families who deserve justice. I was so petty just thinking about poor me and how my friends betrayed me, not my finest hour, and I never told you, so I will now, I am truly sorry for acting like the Queen Bitch I did, please forgive me."

Rick remains quiet still sitting in the swing, now gently swaying side to side, his empty coffee cup on the ground, and his gaze fixed on a spot to the right of, and above Kate's face. She pauses, looking at him, to gauge if there is any reaction, and then dabs her eye, clears her throat and moves on.

"By the time Scott Dunn came along, my image of you had changed, but when you took me into your home and provided for me as one of your family I became afraid of the feelings I was beginning to have for you. They only deepened as I saw a Dad and Son who loved his family and his friends who would do anything for their happiness. "

"Jordon Shaw, although married did make me jealous, I had no right to be, I hadn't even professed to liking you then, much less falling in love with you. You did what you always did, saved my Ass, and reassured me that you would have my back, although it wasn't said, I knew you meant for more than work."

"Jordan even told me when she was leaving, He cares about you Kate, you may not see it, or want to believe it, but he does. All I could do was respond with what became our theme, well things between Castle and me are complicated, only because I made them that way, not because of you,"

"I know even then I cut you down with remarks an put downs no other person would have tolerated, as Alexis put it, used you as my personal punching bag, and I am so very sorry Rick, I should have apologized earlier, Hell I should never have said it to begin with, Please forgive me?"

Rick begins to squirm, knowing that if she is following the timeline, which of course Kate Beckett will, she knows no other way, Demming saga is coming up next, and he feels like he wants to vomit.

"I really don't know what I was thinking when Tom came on board at the 12th, I mean he was good looking, but he also came with the Badge Bunny Magnet tag from the 54th, yet I fell for the lines. I was so God Damn Stupid Rick, I know of all the cruel things I have done, this was the most hurtful, and I can't say I am sorry enough."

"The Lie?" Why, Rick spoke so softly but even now his voice so full of hurt.

"I'm sorry Rick, what did you say?"

"The Lie, that God Damn Lie that you had to work and had used all your vacation days Beckett, why didn't you just tell me "Hey Castle, I got the hots for the new guy, so see you later" It would have hurt, but not nearly as much as catching you in a lie, and by the way it wasn't the firs one you had told me, I just didn't want to call out your inconsistencies"

Kate wasn't sure if it was hurt, anger, or a mixture of both, but she knew this was a memory that had haunted him since it happened.

"I asked Gina to go to the Hamptons with me, so I wouldn't be alone, how pathetic is that Beckett? It wasn't only the lie, it was the way you treated me, but worse, how you allowed you Boyfriend to mock me, even on your worse days to the lowest of lows in criminals I never heard you ever be cruel, What Happened Beckett? Was the sex worth destroying another human? Was this another instance that Castle was a good target and your personal punching bag?"

"Then Lanie called asking for help for you, I tried, I really did try her to tell her to Go to Hell, but you needed help, and God help me, I couldn't stop myself. Demming was an Ass, but you didn't deserve the suspension, and the ridicule of the pictures he posted"

"Rick, did you, I mean were***" Kate is trying to talk between tears

"If you're asking if I saw the pictures, yes Kate I did, and it was just another reminder to me that I would never be good enough for you, I'm not a cop, a Fed, or someone in Law Enforcement, I'm just the author you tolerated, under orders. I ask you to dinner, you answer you don't want to be a conquest then become the laughing stock of the precinct falling like a teen ager of a guy, who by your own admission had a reputation"

"I can never tell you how much your help meant to me, I knew you were pissed, well hurt as well, but you still made sure I came out with as little as damage as possible.

"Why didn't you want Lanie to tell me where the help was coming from Rick? I mean it was Montgomery who told me off, and then explained what you did,"

"Yeah, another pathetic effort by the writer to win you heart, Kate, if all that I had done for you, if all the times when I put your interests first, protected you didn't mean anything, I sure as hell didn't want to think you were going to be with me because of guilt or worse, pity,"

"I returned to the precinct, by accident I agree, then I was treated like I had kicked your dog, and I have no idea to this day, why everyone, even Montgomery treated me like they did."

Kate begins to sob, "Rick I know I keep saying this, but if I could go back in time I would change everything, and I'm the reason everyone treated you like shit. I broke up with Demming just before coming to your farewell party to ask if your invitation was still open,"

"I wanted to go with you. Then Gina, showed up, and you two looked like you were the picture of love, I was hurt, that should have been us, you didn't even wait a day to replace me."

"Beckett, Gina didn't replace you, she accepted an invitation after you lied to my face about having to work, there was never an us, you made damn sure of that every chance you got." Rick's tone was level, cold, not angry, but worse, void of any emotion.

"I know you saw through my charade with Mike Royce when I was keeping him on the phone for the trace, he was more than my TO, and I did love him, or so I thought. Knowing how I felt, and the betrayal of someone you care about, ****"

"I've had a front row seat the last two year for that Beckett, you don't need to explain to me the feeling you get, and once again you lied, to me, to all of us." Rick interrupted."

"You know we, well mostly you have been talking for over an hour and what have we accomplished?" "I'd like to know what you think Beckett?"

"Rick, I wanted to show you just how sorry I am, I know I fucked up, and not once but several times, I haven't said I'm sorry in the past, that was wrong, but I am trying now Rick, I really am."

"So am I Kate, so am I" Rick responds sadly

"Wait Rick, what, what are you sorry about?"

"I'm sorry for allowing you to treat this way for so long, I should have walked away and let you lead the life you chose, I'm sorry for bringing up old wounds like your Mom's murder, but most of all I'm sorry for every being in love with you." Rick's voice is low, and his eyes glisten with unshed tears

"Wait Rick, what did you just say, did I hear you correctly?" as Kate almost faints "But Why Rick, I'm only a cop and you, you have your choice of women all over the world, why, why me?"

"The heart wants what the heart wants, what can I say, I fell for you by the third case we worked, it went from just not only wanting you in my bed, I wanted you in my life. I guess I pressed too hard and spooked you away, so I'm sorry, sorry that***"

"STOP, are you apologizing for falling in love with me? Rick, why didn't you tell me,"

"I tried Kate, so many times, but someone always came into your life, and I stepped back, I just want you to be happy"

"I'm not happy Rick, I haven't been happy since I left your Loft after the bombing by Dunn, but I really thought that I was in your way, and you were doing what you always do, being the gentleman and helping other"

"Pardon me Kate, not that I don't believe you, but I don't believe you. Your actions, as well as your words made it clear that you would rather be somewhere else, so excuse me when I call Bull Shit"

"God I really have Fucked this up haven't I, really Rick, I didn't know your true feelings for me, I swear, I just thought you wanted me for a romp in the sack and then I would be your next notch on your bedpost. I was afraid, especially after knowing you had 2 ex-wives, and ****"

"Let me guess Detective, you thought immediately that it was my fault that one if not both ended in divorce. For the record, which is public by the way and you don't even have to be a cop to see that Meredith cheated on me and gave up full custody of Alexis when she was less than one year old. You read page six and assumed without ever checking or asking, and you're a detective?"

"God Rick, I'm sorry," as the tears flow much harder than he has ever seen her cry,

"No sweat, it's what everyone assumes, and really it's no one's business and it's easier on Alexis if her Dad is the playboy than her mother being a slut."

"Rick, you said you fell in love with me, ah do you, well**

"Kate, as much as I have tried, I'm still in love with your, BUT right now I don't like you, much less love you"

"I'm confused Rick, do you love someone else? Is it Jacinda?" she barely gets out

"I Love Jacinda yes, and she Loves me, BUT she is in love with some one else just as she knows I am in love with you," "You can love someone Kate, but when you make that decision that your feelings come second to anything and everything your partner wants, and you would die for them, then you're in love."

"Kate, I got to go, Jacinda is in town and I do want to spend time with her, while I give you time to think about this conversation, the next move is yours. I heard a lot of lip service today about what happened, but I only heard once where you actually owned something."

"Forgiveness is easy, I've already forgiven you, BUT I am also very worried about repeating the same old story. You need to prove to me you have changed, I won't play second fiddle to a case, or anyone else, and if you can't prove that, we part as friends"

"How you do that is really up to you, think about how you screwed up and do the opposite is a good place to start,

"Call me when you have something new to discuss, Bye Kate,"

And Castle was gone, Kate watched the swing's movement through her tears, until it finally came to a complete stop, like her chance at love with Rick she thought as she made her way home in a cloud of tears.

A/N Good place to stop, this was very hard to write, it's not to pick a side, but to show the problems this couple had, when talking, would have stopped the whole chain, - Then we wouldn't have had the series, so this I hope is fair to both characters. Always appreciate the reads, like, follows and favorites, Tim


	16. Chapter 16

Down for the Count **by Castlefan6**

Authors Note: This is my AU version of events immediately following the end scene of Countdown where Kate is in the arms of Josh watching Castle walk away after several near-death experiences. He believed she had almost confessed she loved him, but she lost consciousness one second too soon. This story is dedicated to Norman, hope it is close to what you wanted my friend. We both had severe anxiety when Beckett just watched as Castle walked away watching her in the arms of Dr. Motorcycle Boy. _**WARNING: Caskett is NOT a guarantee in this AU story.**_

I don't own Castle, I use the characters for amusement purposes only

 **Chapter 16**

 **Previously**

"Wait Rick, what did you just say, did I hear you correctly?" as Kate almost faints "But Why Rick, I'm only a cop and you, you have your choice of women all over the world, why, why me?"

"The heart wants what the heart wants, what can I say, I fell for you by the third case we worked, it went from just not only wanting you in my bed, I wanted you in my life. I guess I pressed too hard and spooked you away, so I'm sorry, sorry that***"

"STOP, are you apologizing for falling in love with me? Rick, why didn't you tell me,"

"I tried Kate, so many times, but someone always came into your life, and I stepped back, I just want you to be happy"

 **Castle's Loft**

 **Sunday 1:10 PM**

As Rick approaches the Loft he hears laughter, Alexis, then Jacinda and finally Martha is actually allowing herself to let go amid something that is causing them to laugh so hard. He slips into the door and sees his three ladies sitting on the sofa with a picture album spread open in front of them, ohhh this can't be good he thinks.

"Hi Ladies, what's so funny, or do I need to ask Mother?" "Is that my photo album from High School, oh please Mother isn't anything sacred to you?"

"Sweetie, you have to tell me, how did you get that cow all the way up there without someone seeing or squealing on you" Jacinda asks as she rises and takes him in a big hug and kiss. "It's OK Hun, I got you" she whispered in his ear just for him to hear.

"Well Mother how many other albums have you subjected your Granddaughter to, you know she is very impressionable at this age" trying hard to show anger and failing miserably, as Alexis replies,

"Says the Dad that was arrested for riding a Police Horse, naked, in January," as another round of laughter is heard throughout the house.

"Well Dad, I told Paige I would meet her for a study session, so I'll be home late tonight, we're going to grab a pizza on the way," as she kisses him and heads towards the door,

"Jacinda, it was great to spend some girl time with you, I hope we can do it again before you have to leave, "

"I enjoyed it as well Alexis, and let's make a point to do it, OK?" "Have a great night, and thanks so much for the warm welcome, it means a lot to me" Jacinda says sincerely

"Well Kiddo's I'm off, I would say don't wait up, but that would just make my son happy, have a good night, and Jacinda you are welcome here anytime you are near us, you're such a sweet lady, not much in taste in your men" as she looks toward Rick

"Mother, I'm right here you know, and thank you for keeping my ego in check" "Have a great evening as well"

Then suddenly the loft was empty except for Rick and Jacinda. Sensing that Rick had a rough go, Jacinda slips her arms around his neck and pulls him into a deep passionate kiss, "God I missed that, it's been hours", and smiles that smile just for him

"You have no idea", as he returns the kiss, and then when forced to break for air, just holds Jacinda in his arms so tenderly,

"Tough conversation Love?"

"One of the toughest I have ever had," Rick replies looking so sad.

"Hey, let's get some lunch, spend some time together then you can tell me all about **IF** you want to" as relief rushes through Rick's face,

"That sounds like the best idea of the day Love"

After a takeout lunch, some great wine, and some make out sessions that finally led back to the bedroom and a very sweet love making session where Jacinda took control and comforted Rick, rebuilding his confidence, and finally leading him into a finale that neither of them had experienced before with each other. Rick re-capped the conversation with Kate.

Jacinda let him finish, before asking any questions, simply kissing his head gently as he sat in the V of her legs with her hands gently around his neck.

"Rick how do you feel about Kate at this very moment?

"I'm hurt, disappointed and pissed off that such an intelligent woman who solves mysteries for a living can't even put the pieces of our puzzle together. I mean how hard is it to know that someone cares about you, especially as you told me in our talks the shared experiences we had"

"Do you think she told you the truth when she told you that she didn't know you were in love with her?"

"Not at first but I think when she realized I was a changed man, and called her on her Bull Shit, she opened up. That's just it, if you're in love you shouldn't have to beg for the other to be open and honest with you, am I right?"

"You're right Rick, maybe taking the whole two years you've been together is too big a chunk for her to take on, and Hun I am not making excuses, but behavior becomes habit, if it goes unchecked, maybe you need to go through smaller chunks for her to understand what she did, the impact on you, and how you would like to see similar sessions going forward"

Rick looks up into those eyes that make him melt every time, "How did you get so smart about relationships J, I know now just how much you really do love me."

"When you screw up a relationship, have a job like mine where you have the opportunity to read, a lot, the books can really help you, well except Dr. Phil he's a hack." "What do you mean you know now how much I love you, what did I do?"

"You are willing to give me up to Kate if you are sure I'll be happier, and you're working your ass off to give me tips how to work on the relationship, not bomb it"

Tears fall from her eyes, "When you love someone, set them free, if they return they are yours, if not, they never were, that saying sucks but isn't that what you are doing for me Rick? "

"I don't want you to think for one minute Kate Beckett or any woman can walk in here and I just hand you over to them, I love you Rick, deeper each day, but until we get the monkey off your back and mine, we both know we will always live in a world of If only" I don't want to be the one you settled for, because the issues with Kate weren't resolved"

She gently lifts his head back to face her, "I love you Richard Castle, and I hope some day we can both say we are IN LOVE with each other till then, I'll take what I can", as she kisses him passionately.

 **Beckett's Apartment**

 **Sunday 2:12 PM**

Kate has managed to make it home, still in a fog, searching for the answer to Rick's challenge some of his few words have really hit a nerve,

" _ **Forgiveness is easy, I've already forgiven you, BUT I am also very worried about repeating the same old story. You need to prove to me you have changed, I won't play second fiddle to a case, or anyone else, and if you can't prove that, we part as friends"**_

She's never had to prove anything to anyone in her relationships, maybe that's why they all ended the same way, her not caring enough to put both feet in, and her partners more job driven than by what would make her happy.

What a pitiful life, one she thought **she** controlled when all she controlled was her part, and in reality, they were both using each other for what they needed at the time, how sad. She needed help, and more than Lanie or any girlfriend could provide.

The look on Rick's face was enough to convince her that she was already on her way out, with Jacinda waiting in the wings to take her place, AND from what he had said she had Alexis on her side. She needed help.

Digging through her archives she finally found it, the Doctor's name who she had to see when Montgomery forced psych evaluations on her when she became obsessed with her Mother's case. Picking up her phone she dialed the number and left a detailed message of how she was a returning patient and was having some problems in dealing with things and wanted to be proactive like Dr. Burke asked her to do in their final session.

She busied herself once again preparing to return to the precinct tomorrow, with today being Sunday she thought she would be lucky to hear from the Doctor by Wednesday, then her phone rang.

"Beckett"

"Hi Kate, this is Dr. Carter Burke, I was checking voice mails and was surprised to hear your voice, how are things?"

"Fi*** well as I said I'm having some difficulty dealing with some personal issues, and I'm actually just completing a forced one-week vacation, so I want to get a handle on the triggers"'

"Well Kate, I'm proud that you took charge this quickly, as I remember you came kicking and screaming to my office when your Captain ordered it last year." "This shows growth, you should be proud of yourself."

"Well Doctor, being honest, I really still am not a fan, but I have some personal issues that could impact me for life if I can't control them, so stubborn yes, stupid I hope not" as the Doctor laughs.

"I can see you tomorrow on your lunch, if that is OK Kate, as you know I always block my calendar for lunch periods for occasions such as this."

"Dr. Burke that would be great, I'll be there as close to 11:15 as I can make it, and thank you for calling back on a Sunday"

"You're more than welcome Kate, I'll see you tomorrow, have a good evening."

Kate pulls out her journal and records as she always does every meeting with Rick, she's done this secretly since the first case. At first it was to garner enough evidence against him to get him kicked off her team, but the theme changed over time. Somehow, she's got a feeling that she is going to need this in the sessions with Dr. Burke.

As she flips back through some of the pages, she has recorded the hurtful comments she and Demming had blasted a defenseless Rick with for no reason, she drops her head and begins to cry, not for her, but for the hurt she know she has certainly caused one of the sweetest men on the planet. Yeah, she is not going to enjoy the sessions with the good Doctor for sure.

A/N Good place to stop. Currently leaning towards a Caskett ending IF Kate can get her shit together, the next few chapters will tell. Don't worry about Jacinda, she will be happy, I promise. Thanks for the reviews favorites and follows, Tim


	17. Chapter 17

Down for the Count **by Castlefan6**

Authors Note: This is my AU version of events immediately following the end scene of Countdown where Kate is in the arms of Josh watching Castle walk away after several near-death experiences. He believed she had almost confessed she loved him, but she lost consciousness one second too soon. This story is dedicated to Norman, hope it is close to what you wanted my friend. We both had severe anxiety when Beckett just watched as Castle walked away watching her in the arms of Dr. Motorcycle Boy. _**WARNING: Caskett is NOT a guarantee in this AU story.**_

I don't own Castle, I use the characters for amusement purposes only

 **Chapter 17**

 **Previously**

Tears fall from her eyes, "When you love someone, set them free, if they return they are yours, if not, they never were, that saying sucks but isn't that what you are doing for me Rick? "

"I don't want you to think for one minute Kate Beckett or any woman can walk in here and I just hand you over to them, I love you Rick, deeper each day, but until we get the monkey off your back and mine, we both know we will always live in a world of If only" I don't want to be the one you settled for, because the issues with Kate weren't resolved"

She gently lifts his head back to face her, "I love you Richard Castle, and I hope someday we can both say we are **IN LOVE** with each other till then, I'll take what I can", as she kisses him passionately.

 **12** **th** **Precinct**

 **6:30 AM Monday**

Kate is anxious to get the rust off of her, and back into a groove with her team, as well as she needs to be free for a longer lunch to talk to Dr. Burke today. After deliberating, she also thought that it would help if she notified Montgomery of her visits to the good Doctor, it might ease some of the displeasure with her he had shown the last time they spoke.

She spots the captain, just settling in as she returns with her coffee, walking to his door, the nerves fray up a bit, "Sir do you have a minute?"

"Come in Detective, and shut the door"

"Sir, yes Sir"

"What's on your mind Detective?" without the usual warmth Roy usually had for her,

"Sir, I wanted to apologize for the incident last week, and promise it will not happen again, I am embarrassed both personally, as well as how my actions reflected on our department"

"Apology Accepted, and Kate, NEVER let something like this happen again, understand?"

"Yes, Sir I do."

Montgomery notices she hasn't budged, "Is there something else Detective?"

"Yes Sir, it is rather sensitive but after the events last week, the stress of dealing with the incident, and a talk with Castle yesterday, I thought I needed to get back into therapy, Sir, I've contacted Dr. Carter Burke, NYPD Psychiatrist."

"I'll see him on lunch hours for as long as it takes to get this behind me Sir, I just wanted you to know if I am late coming back from lunch some days."

"Very Good Detective, wise decision, you said you spoke to Castle yesterday?"

"Yes sir, we met and had a very good talk, it lasted for almost two hours, the most we have talked in months" Kate is able to smile slightly

"Kate at anytime in those two hours did Rick explain why he has left the 12th precinct as his Consultant Role?"

"Sir, I'm sorry did you say Rick resigned?"

"So, he didn't tell you either uh, something must have really bothered him to go all formal and follow NYPD regulations to the tee, this came through with an email from HR that he has resigned effective immediately because of personal reasons."

Roy shows Kate a simple printout from Rick's personal email account, it was a formal email to Roy using the Rank and using Sir, and language that just wasn't Rick.

"Notice anything strange Kate,"

"Sir?"

"Mr. Mayor was not copied so either Rick has not told Bob, or he wants to do so in his own time,

"Is there anything I should know before I get the call from the Mayor's office wanting to know what the Hell happened Kate?"

"Well we were talking when Josh came up behind me unannounced and got all hugs and clingy, that's when Rick just walked away and would not look at us, he looked so hurt in the elevator, I wanted to go after him."

"That started a fight with Josh and led to the mess you sent me home for Sir, but Rick never mentioned a word yesterday, Oh God now what have I done?"

"Well get ready for a shit storm Detective, and I can warn you and your boys, PP1 will be watching your closure rate very closely, don't slip, Dismissed "

"Thank You Sir,"

Kate was absolutely numb, Castle had left the precinct, her, after all they had just gone through, My God was it because of her?

She found her desk and picked up the phone dialing a familiar extension, "Lanie we need to talk"

 **Castle's Loft**

 **Monday 7:00 AM**

Jacinda was up showered and in the kitchen when Alexis made her way down, planning to grab some fruit and a breakfast bar on he way out, to be greeted with French Toast, eggs, pancakes and bacon.

"Jacinda how long have you been up to do all of this, and look at you, Beautiful at 7:00 AM and I am still dragging, what's your secret?" Alexis gushes

"Time Zones Sweetie, you never know where you are at, and by the time you get used to one time zone for your internal clock, you switch routes" she laughs

"Have some breakfast before you leave, I made it for all of us," Jacinda laughs

"Wow, beautiful, class, and you cook, Dad really hit the jackpot this time"

"Well about that Alexis, I'm not sure how much your Dad has shared with you but, you know I love your father, hell anyone knows that, but***"

"I know Jacinda, Dad told me, for the record, I hope you both get those monkeys off your back and you wind up together, but most of all I want you both to be happy"

"You make Dad happy, I haven't seen him like this since, well in a long time, so Thank You. I know he brags about me, too much, but I do love him, and till last year it's always been just the two of us."

"Grams got swindled and Dad, even though he likes to pretend, won't let her go anywhere now where he can't protect her. He's like that with those he loves" as she smiles and polishes off the bacon that was on her plate.

"Well I gotta go, thanks for breakfast Jacinda", then in a total surprise, the younger redhead, takes her into a big hug, and whispers, "thank you for loving Dad, he's really a great man" then out the door and she is gone.

Rick had witnessed and heard the entire conversation as he stood in this doorway, he had started to interrupt, but now is glad he didn't.

"Good Morning, and BACON, I'm spoiled" as Rick slips his arms around Jacinda in to a hug from behind, as she was standing at the counter.

"You sound like your daughter, you know, you just missed her", Jacinda turns her head back and catches Rick in a sweet good morning kiss,

"Confession, I was coming out of the room when I heard you two talking and just stopped, I'm sorry but it's hard to get Alexis to open up to people, like she said, it's mostly just been the two of us."

"I know Rick, your shadow was projected on the china cabinet", "I just figured you would come out when you were ready." "I just don't want Alexis or anyone choosing sides, this isn't a game, it's our hearts. I want for you what you want for me, eternal love, we just have some hurdles to jump over to be sure we are in the right place."

"She used to respect Beckett like she respects you, but she has seen me hurt so much, no matter how I tried to hide it, my little girl knew, and she felt that same hurt."

"Maybe that's why the feelings I have for her are so mixed, I'm angry that she hurt Alexis, even though it wasn't intentional, the feeling was still real for my family.

"Rick, if you forgive Kate, Alexis must do so also, she can't harbor any ill will, or your relationship with Kate on any level, friend, partner or well other will fail, you understand, that right?"

"ANY woman who has the slightest hope of being in your life, MUST have Alexis's approval." "She is protective of you because she loves you, and you love so freely you do get hurt, probably more than you have shared.

You are a giver Rick, those types of people are often taken advantage of because of their nature, it's good that someone who loves you is looking out for you."

"I'm sure Alexis wouldn't mind some help from a particular***"

"Rick, I want to be here, but I want it with ALL the rubble cleared out I don't want my past or yours to turn something as beautiful as we have now into the ugly side of love we see so often in divorce," as she turns to pull him into a full and passionate kiss.

"I know J, and you're right, it was just so good to see my little girl relate to someone, **"

"Rick, you already married Gina for your little girl, who by the way is really a young lady, and is very wise to the world, and she would see right through your intentions if you ever tried that again.

She told me she felt guilty because she knew you married Gina to provide a mother for her, thinking that was what she needed, when all she wanted was for you not to be lonely.

You have a very smart and sensitive daughter Rick, but she's almost grown, it's time for **you** soon, Dad or is that Grandpa" as she laughs and busts of his grasp."

"Ohhh you are going to pay for that", as the chase begins, and they spend the morning enjoying the privacy they have.

 **NYC Morgue**

 **7:18 AM Monday**

"Hey Kate, it's always good to see you girlfriend, but your call sounded like trouble, what's Javi done now?"

"Hey Lanie, I'm glad to be back, and Javi hasn't done anything, well at least that I know about yet, but I've only been here for the last hour, but I do have a problem"

"Sounds like a man, more precisely a Castle problem, what did he do now to hurt you, I can have him hurt really bad with just a call Kate"

"Rick and I talked for almost two hours yesterday in person Lanes, he has changed, I'm not sure he loves me anymore, I mean he wasn't cruel, but after I apologized for the incident with**"

"You mean when Dr. MB came in and started feeling you up in front of Castle after the man had saved your life 3 times in 24 hours Kate, is that the Incident?"

"Lanie, it wasn't like that, really, I mean he put his arms around me and **"

"Where were his hands Kate Beckett?" "I have it on good source that he had each of those boobs cupped in his hands, marking his territory, and you ALLOWED it" Some of the cops, and before you say it, not Javi, said they had never seen Castle look so sad as he got on the elevator"

"I know Lanes, that's why Josh and I got into the fight, right there in the bull pen and why Montgomery forced me to take a week's vacation after I had Josh removed from precinct as we broke up"

"Anyway Lanie, I came in early to talk to the Captain, I have some personal issues I have to take care of, and in our discussion, he asked me if I knew Rick resigned from his Consultant position.

Did you know this happened? I was so shocked I couldn't ask Montgomery when, but apparently, he had a letter sent to HR, and attached that letter in an email to Roy."

"Well Kate, it shouldn't come as a surprise to you, I mean you have been trying to get rid of that man, and only God knows why, since the first day he stepped foot into the precinct."

"To answer your question Javi got wind of it late Friday when Montgomery exploded and called HR, I guess his voice was louder than he thought, he was thoroughly pissed and wanted to get to the bottom of WHY?

I guess he talked to Karpowski, and some of the cops that were closest to his exit, and all Javi heard him say was, "That fucking doctor has cost me my best team, I hope for his sake he's out of the country and soon".

"I take it your talk with the Captain this morning was an eye opener. You got what you wanted and believe me a lot of his friends throughout the station are very pissed at you, me included" Lanie glared at Kate.

"Lanes, come on you know I didn't really want him gone, why would he start to listen now?"

"Kate, what did **you do** when he left with Gina, and that wasn't his fault but he paid the price for it" "This time I think you will have a hard time getting support or sympathy from many, you destroyed a good man, for what, a Doctor on a Harley, You know I'm busy, unless you have official business I got to get back,

"Lanie, I see, and I'm sorry, so very sorry for everything, I'm trying to fix things, what do I have to do to earn forgiveness from you?"

"Make things right with Rick, and be sure we know he is OK from his standards not your usual formal apologies, and Kate, maybe you start by checking what you say to him, of all people who has helped you, he has done the most and asked the least,"

Kate heads back to her desk, not sure of what reception she is going to get from the boys, if Lanie is so pissed at her she basically dismissed her, she can only hope the reception would be better from her team.

That thought is quickly dashed, when she is greeted by Ryan, "Welcome back Boss, the reports from last week are on your desk" then turns and walks away. Javi's greeting was even shorter, a terse, "Welcome Back" then turned and walked away.

Kate stays busy catching up with reports, till it's time to leave to see Dr. Burke, "Guys, I'm taking a long lunch, I'll be back around 1:00PM"

"OK, Sure" are the response she received without either of them looking up, more damage to repair, this is going to be difficult, more difficult than she thought.

 **Carter Burke MD Office**

 **11:10 AM Monday**

Kate fights back the memories as she makes her way to Dr. Burke's office, and checks in with his receptionist desk verifying all of her information. Rather than take one of the seats stands in front of the large window, from a distance she can see the East River, and she flashes back to the Old Haunt, and how Rick had bought it to preserve a part of history of New York.

He was so excited to show his booth, where he had penned his second novel, the first with Kyra in college, naaahh she is not going there, too many memories that hurt with Kyra.

Rick acted like a little boy when he discovered the second floor that he never knew that existed. That was one of the things she loved about him, his boyish, wait what did she just think, she loved, might as well admit it now Kate, you are and have been in love with Richard Castle, why else would you be standing in a shrink's office, ready to bare your soul of your thoughts and emotions.

She is taken from her daydream, with a loud Ms. Beckett, Detective, and finally, Detective Beckett, "Yes" she replies as she sees the receptionist had started in her direction. "Dr. Burke will see you now,"

"Thank You", she replied

One hour later Kate emerges from the office, feeling drained, she had almost forgotten how deep Dr. Burke could force you to dig, and some of what surfaced was just ugly, no other word for it. She had to make amends to her friends, AND she had to be honest with Rick, even if it meant losing him, one more lie and she surely would.

 **12** **th** **Precinct**

 **1:00 PM**

Kate is just existing the elevator when she sees Ryan and Espo, not so subtlety trying to avoid her. She headed them off using a different aisle, and then as they were caught, she replied "Conference Room Now!"

The process starts now, regardless of how tender her feelings were after her session with Dr. Burke. Looking on the faces of a very pissed off Esposito, and a worried Ryan, Kate blurted out,

"This shit stops and stops now understand? I know you both have issues with me, and I have a pretty good idea it's about how I treated Castle, BUT you have jobs to do, as do I, and I've already heard that we are on the watch notice list for 1PP, so we can't afford this petty shit of hiding from each other.

I'll share this with you, I saw Rick and we talked for over two hours yesterday, and he never mentioned leaving the precinct, so I will need to find out how I caused that and fix it, if I can. I don't need you two constantly reminding me that I fucked up, I know that, and not that it's any of your business but I saw a doctor at lunch."

As she looks at the puzzled looks on the faces of her boys, "No you idiots, not that Asshole of a Doctor, I saw my shrink to try to fix all the shit I caused. "Josh is gone forever, I need to get Rick back with us".

Finally, she saw the looks of her boys of compassion, now she has work to do, a ton of it, but she knows what is at stake and is willing

A/N Good place to stop, the hard times aren't over yet, Kate has fences to mend throughout the 12th, including Lanie. Jacinda needs to deal with her past, and Beth's graduation is upcoming. Thanks for the reviews, favorites and follows, Appreciate the support. Tim


	18. Chapter 18

Down for the Count **by Castlefan6**

Authors Note: This is my AU version of events immediately following the end scene of Countdown where Kate is in the arms of Josh watching Castle walk away after several near-death experiences. He believed she had almost confessed she loved him, but she lost consciousness one second too soon. This story is dedicated to Norman, hope it is close to what you wanted my friend. We both had severe anxiety when Beckett just watched as Castle walked away watching her in the arms of Dr. Motorcycle Boy.

I don't own Castle, I use the characters for amusement purposes only

A/N To the guest reviewers who start off, you will probably delete this, you're right, when you learn the difference between conflict and anger, and increase your vocabulary, the children's section is available at your local library. Pick another story, it only took you 17 chapters to figure out I was going to continue to write it my way.

 **Chapter 18**

 **Previously**

"Rick, if you forgive Kate, Alexis must do so also, she can't harbor any ill will, or your relationship with Kate on any level, friend, partner or well other will fail, you understand, that right?"

"ANY woman who has the slightest hope of being in your life, MUST have Alexis's approval." "She is protective of you because she loves you, and you love so freely you do get hurt, probably more than you have shared. "

 **Castle's Loft**

 **Wednesday 11:00 AM**

Rick had arranged to meet with both Gina and Paula to notify them both that he was exercising his right to sever the contract, he would owe one more book to Black Pawn, then technically be a free agent to do as he wished.

Jacinda slipped out of the office to answer a call as Rick exchanged a series of texts with Kate, about his decision to resign from the 12th. After finally growing tired of typing he dialed Kat's cell, the first time he had initiated the call in a long while. He was surprised when the call did not even complete the first ring before she answered,

"Hi Rick, I'm glad you called, my fingers were getting tired from all the texting, and the voice commands just never work the way I want them too"

"Hi, thanks for taking the call, and I'm having the same problems as you, so is there a problem or what's going on. I got as far as saying everyone there is pissed off at you, and I'm sorry, I didn't mean for that to happen."

"Rick, you have always been honest with me, and I need you to answer one question, don't spare my feelings, I have to know the truth, OK?"

"I promise I'll tell you anything I know, and I won't hold back the truth or lie to you, if anyone knows how I feel about lies Kate it's you" her face blushes a bit, but she deserved that.

"Why did you resign from the 12th, No Bull Shit, not what you think I want to hear, just the honest to God's truth, Please!"

"Kate, if you're asking if you're the reason I left, the answer is NO. I had my attorneys check the contracts I signed, and I wanted to be sure I followed the proper protocol in resigning, I have enough court battles going on right now"

"Court Battles? With whom Rick?"

"It's a long story, but I've severed my contract with Black Pawn, I owe them one more book, of my choice, and then I am free to do as I please"

"You can't be serious Rick? You severed you contract? No More Nikki Heat? No more Richard Castle Books? You have to be kidding, right?"

"I'm very serious Kate, I thought of all people that news would make you the happiest?"

"Well you thought wrong, but that's another conversation, what about the Court battles you mentioned?"

"It's just Gina being Gina, she's taking me to court over the validity of the contract she signed, so just a pain in the Ass but I have to be in New York for the next week to get it worked out."

"Rick, I'm sorry but this is a shock, and really I can't help feeling that if I had***

"Stop right there Kate, we spoke about the issues you and I have, God knows I could have brought those about myself, or at least some of them, but this has nothing to do with US, good or bad, it's just something that I feel strongly about, and I am finally going to act on it"

"Rick, I know Jacinda is there and I'm taking you away from her, but I wanted you to know I called the NYPD Psychiatrist, Dr. Carte Burke who I had to see when Roy ordered me too last year. That was when I went down the rabbit hole far too deep and it saved my life."

"You went to a shrink. I'm sorry that sounds crude, but you went for help, professional help, about what?"

"Rick, for a brilliant writer sometimes you are so dumb, I want help to correct the crappy way I treat those I love, and then expect for them to always be there, even when I gave them no reason to stay, and all the reasons in the world to run. I want to be able to prove to the man I'm in love with that I'm worthy of his love, and that he comes first in my life and always will," she fights hard, but the sniffles come through.

"Kate, just so you know, and I don't always say this enough, but I know how tough this was for you to do, and I'm proud of you, it's a great first step. Hey, you better get back I didn't realize that we have talked for almost an hour and a half." "This was great, really great and I'll take care of letting the brass know why I left, I don't want you or Roy caught in anything political like this"

"Thanks Rick, can we talk again soon? I really needed this, "

"Soon, Kate, I promise" Goodbye as the line goes dead.

There has been a similar conversation going on for the last hour or so, that Rick was unaware of, but was one that was about to change his life forever.

Jacinda slipped out of the office to answer a call as Rick exchanged a series of texts with Kate, about his decision to resign from the 12th.

"This is Jacinda, can I help you," Jacinda answers the phone thinking it was central scheduling calling with her new itinerary. She hears a gasp, then breathing, "Hello, is anyone there?"

Then a smooth voice asks, "J is that really you?" "I've searched for you since I got back"

"RAY is that you?"

"It's me J and I'm so sorry I was such an Ass, I should have never walked out on you, I was so stupid, PLEASE forgive me?"

"Ray where are you now and how did you find me?"

"Remember you checked with my Aunt Dorothy a few weeks back, seems she is a bit senile and finally called me with the phone number you had left her. I'm back in Los Angeles, not more than 3 miles from your old place, where are you and what are you up to?

"I'm in New York now with a very good friend, awaiting my dispatch orders since the Airlines have released the 747's back to service. You said you were BACK in Los Angeles, where were you?

"I took a promotion and moved to Houston after I broke things off with you, I just wanted to put distance between us, turns out you can't outrun a memory and I hated it. I was back in Los Angels 2 months later, and when I went to find you, everything was gone, your phone number was changed, you had moved, and they wouldn't give me your address."

"Oh God, I changed Airlines and they provided a phone and wanted me closer to the airport, so they bought my lease out and found housing in their range. I cancelled my service with AT&T and switched to another carrier,"

"J is this your phone number, and may I keep it in my contacts, I mean there's no one else in your life now is there?"

"Ray, I'm going to be honest with you, yes there is someone I love, he loves me, but we're both still in love with different people, so it's complicated" "This is my phone and my address is 4554 Spirit Hawk Trail, Apt 4 you know where that is, right?

"J I'm confused, but yes I know exactly where you live, this man you love, and he loves you, you say he's in love with another woman and you are OK with that? And he knows you love him, but are in love with someone else, and he is OK with that?"

"Yeah I told you it was complicated, how about you Ray, anyone in your life now?"

"J there hasn't been since I made the biggest mistake of my life, it's you, it's always been you, and I know I hurt you so bad, I'm just asking to start over, just another chance, Please J"

"Ray, we need to talk, but I don't want to do it on the phone, I know I leave New York tomorrow, but not sure the route yet, AND I want to talk to Rick, that's the man I love and is more than a friend, I won't hurt him no matter what.

I think it's great that you reconnected with me after almost a year, but it doesn't negate that you left me without a word. Yes, I lied, but I lied because I was afraid I would lose you, joke was on me, I lost you anyway.

I have never been so hurt in my life, and I can't tell you the nights I cried myself to sleep over you, I was crying till I met Rick, he stopped all the tears. So yes, we need to talk, but Ray, I want to know why you responded the way you did, no bull shit, the honest truth, because if I find one lie, it won't be you walking away, it will be me and it will be forever. I'll text my schedule to this number and we will go from there, now I got to go, "

"J, can I say one more thing please, and this may sound weird, but can you tell Rick, Thank You, he sounds like a real gentleman, and after my screwup, I'm glad you met someone like him. If you love him, he has to be special, I look forward to your text then I'll call you, for sure, OK?

"Sounds like a plan, talk to you soon Ray" as she disconnects the call she immediately burst into tears, not knowing how she was going to break Rick's heart, yet again, and what about Alexis and Martha, God this is a mess.

She's sitting on the couch, looking out the window, lost in her thoughts, when Rick slips beside her, and she turns into him laying her head on his shoulder and weeps uncontrollably,

"Shh, It's OK, come on J, I'm right here" the more he consoled the more she cried, till finally just about cried out, Rick whispered,

"J, I heard the last part, I'm sorry I was just coming to see if you were OK, after I was on the phone with Kate for so long, I didn't mean to hear I swear"

Jacinda looks up at him through those beautiful eyes, now red, puffy and still full of tears, "You know what this means right? I mean we talked about it, and God Rick I don't want to hurt you and Alexis, or Martha, why did it have to be today,"

"I'm glad it was today Jacinda, I heard you say that you would not hurt me no matter what, but we both know, your heart belongs to Ray, and always will." "Grab that second chance with him, and never let it go, just know that if anything ever happens I am here, and you are welcome anytime"

"How did your call with Kate go, good I hope" she sniffles,

"Actually, it went far better than I thought it could, she actually put herself into a situation that I know she is extremely uncomfortable with, to change her bad behaviors, and to prove to me, her actions are speaking not just words."

"Rick, will you allow me to speak to Alexis tonight alone, I want her to understand that love at our age is not the same as it is in High School, and the complexities that come with it, but mostly I want her to know that YOU need her to forgive Kate, just as you have already."

"Thanks, I know coming from you will shed more credibility than from me, she thinks I walk around in Rose Colored glasses all day. Just as he finishes, Jacinda's phone buzzes, and vibrates, with a new text.

"It's central scheduling, I am on a dead head to Los Angeles tonight at 7:00 PM to regroup my crew, so this is it, I guess in more ways than one,"

"Afraid so J, now that Ray is more than a name, I won't do what other men did to me and my relationship, plus, I don't think I could keep my eyes open if we did progress to that today.

I'm so grateful for you, and I will Always Love you, but I want you to be in love for always and that's with Ray."

The remainder of the afternoon is spent as good friends, only interrupted by a private talk with Alexis, and then it was time for good-byes.

"Good Bye, Martha, Alexis Thank you so much for making me part of this family, as they hug and exchange kisses,

"Rick, I will see you in a week in LA for Beth's graduation, Kate is welcome as well if she can get the time off. Remember I love you, and be good to Kate, she loves you all,"

Rick embraces her for a long hug, neither wanting to let go, knowing that when the connection is broken, it will be forever, finally Jacinda tearfully kisses his cheek, and pushes off, Good Bye for now see you soon, as she headed for the elevator and the waiting car to take her back to her life she had dreamed of.

"Dad, I'm sorry that you and Jacinda didn't work out but you know I think I understand it more now since she and I talked."

"How's that Pumpkin?"

"I know you have been in love with Kate for a long time, cause Jacinda said that only someone who was in love would be happy for their love, EVEN if it wasn't with them. That's why you stepped aside, you are in love with Kate and her happiness means more to you than your own."

"Well Jacinda is pretty smart, I don't think I could have said it that well,"

"She also asked me to forgive Kate, because you already did, and it would really hurt you if you were in love with someone that I hated or was angry at, Dad, I never want to hurt you, I was only angry because I saw you so sad, it broke my heart."

"I know pumpkin, you know what would be really nice, if you would that is?"

"You want me to talk to Kate, to let her know that things are good, but can I warn her I'll have her Ass if she ever hurts you again." Ooops Sorry Dad, that's what Jacinda said, is that OK?"

"Well let's see if she is free for dinner at Remys I am hungry and knowing Kate, she hasn't eaten yet. Why don't you call and invite her OK?"

Kate has just put down the mail, all junk, and is reviewing the day's progress, she made headway with the boys, Dr. Burke has her charting a path to get to where she wants to be, when he phone rings with a standard ring tone,

"She answers Kate Beckett"

"Kate this is Alexis Castle, I'm glad I caught you. Would you like to have a late dinner with Dad and I at Remys say about 8:30 PM tonight?

"Yeah, sure, 8:30 PM I'll see you then,"

As the line goes dead, Kate is thinking I am Dead, this is worse than meeting the parents,

A/N Well Jacinda is on her way to happy land, Rick realizes now that Kate is really trying to prove her love for him, and the most important take away, Alexis in on board thanks to Jacinda. Again, thanks for your continued Follows Reviews and Favorites all greatly appreciated, Tim


	19. Chapter 19

Down for the Count **by Castlefan6**

Authors Note: This is my AU version of events immediately following the end scene of Countdown where Kate is in the arms of Josh watching Castle walk away after several near-death experiences. He believed she had almost confessed she loved him, but she lost consciousness one second too soon. This story is dedicated to Norman, hope it is close to what you wanted my friend. We both had severe anxiety when Beckett just watched as Castle walked away watching her in the arms of Dr. Motorcycle Boy.

I don't own Castle, I use the characters for amusement purposes only

 **Chapter 19**

 **Previously**

when her phone rings with a standard ring tone,

"She answers Kate Beckett"

"Kate this is Alexis Castle, I'm glad I caught you. Would you like to have a late dinner with Dad and I at Remy's say about 8:30 PM tonight?

"Yeah, sure, 8:30 PM I'll see you then,"

As the line goes dead, Kate is thinking I am Dead, this is worse than meeting the parents,

 **Remy's Diner**

 **8:24 PM**

Kate had run the gambit of nerves since hanging up with Alexis, did she really say with her Dad? Was this just another chance to tear into her for something the teenager just found out about, Oh God why did she say yes without asking? Too late now as she spots the red head and the tall, ruggedly handsome author, who is she kidding, the love of her life walk through the doors.

Rick spots her just as she is about to stand and wave, this was their booth, would he remember, would he even care? The booth where she cried her heart out to him about her Mom, Dad, and even fights with Josh, what a fool she was, and he was ALWAYS there for her, even after the toughest of cases.

"Hi Alexis, Rick, I hope the booth is OK, there was a wait even at this hour for a table."

"It's fine Kate," Alexis replies sweetly, "Thanks for seeing us so soon, I know the last time we talked I was a brat, and again, I am truly sorry for things I said."

"It's fine Kate, actually it's very familiar", Rick smiles

"Is everything OK, I mean I love seeing you both, but the call did sound, well not frantic, but very important"

"I've got some things I need to say Kate, and I knew if I waited I would either chicken out, or you would be so busy, we wouldn't be able to meet" Alexis says softly

"First of all, Kate, I don't hate you, I never did, I was just so angry at you that Dad was hurt, and I guess I did what I always do, try to protect him, even if he doesn't approve sometimes.

What I said was way out of line, and I know I hurt you, which I'm sorry but I wanted you to feel pain like Dad, that's not how Dad raised me, and I am truly sorry, please forgive me?"

"Alexis, I forgave you the minute I left the loft, I knew why you were doing what you did, and I respect you for that, I would have done the same thing for my Dad or anyone I love.

I spoke to your Dad, but I want you to know just how serious I am about making myself better, someone that perhaps your Dad could love someday.

I entered therapy, and it's hard, I know I will still have slip ups, but Alexis, I am asking you as I asked your Dad, please be patient with me. I know how much hurt I caused not only Rick, but I finally realized that you and Martha shared that as well"

"Kate, don't you hate shrinks and always want to keep your matters private? You actually went to see a doctor to make yourself better for Dad, and us?"

"Yeah, who knew huh, I guess when you see everything you searched for your whole life about to, if he hasn't already, slip through your fingers, suddenly your pride takes a backseat."

"Kate, I was looking for something, anything for you to prove to me that my Dad's heart would be safe with you, and honestly I expected the same old I'm sorry, I am screwed up because of what happened at age 19.

I know that was probably the worst day in your life, but it never gave you a pass to step on people's feelings, especially those who loved you, like Grams, me and Dad.

This is the first time I can remember you asking for forgiveness, and actually doing the hard work to earn it, I'm proud of you. I respected you, from the moment I met you, I was pulling for Dad and you to get together so when, well stuff happened, I was crushed for Dad, but I was also crushed for me."

Rick has remained silent, but a slight smile a huge look of pride fills his face, Kate is fighting back tears. Alexis reaches over and takes her hand, that opened the flood gates not only for Kate but Alexis as well.

"Alexis, I am so sorry, I never meant to hurt your Dad, and especially not you or Martha, I was so stupid and afraid."

"Afraid of what Kate?" Rick asks gently

"Rick, as long as I didn't start something with you, I could live in my world where you would always be there, and we would never part, kinda like all the rewards without the work as Dr. Burke described it. I was afraid you would reject me, and I don't think I could handle that, it would have been the absolute worst, ***

"After your Mother's death you mean," Rick gently interrupts,

"No, Rick the absolute worst. Dr. Burke has me working on acceptance and rejection, it sucks, but I can see how irrational my behavior was to everyone but me, I think I was messed up before Mom's death but just used that as the crutch"

"Kate, I know that feeling," Alexis says softly, "For two years I wouldn't talk to Ashley other than class, because if we dated and broke up, I lost him forever.

I'm young, and I don't have a lot of dating experience, but I know now that was probably the dumbest thing I could have done, look at all the free milkshakes I missed" she laughed through watery eyes, as Kate pulls her into a hug.

"Well, you may be young, but you figured it out before me, and you didn't hurt people in the process, so you are more grown up than your Dad would like to acknowledge,"

"Speaking of Ashley, I promised to meet him at the movies for the last showing, as long as this went well. Kate are we good? And do you promise never to hurt my Dad in that manner again? I know he is going to drive you crazy, that never stops, just please don't hurt him, please?"

"Alexis, we are so much more than good, we are great. Thank you for forgiving me, and giving me another chance with your Dad, I promise I will never let anything happen to him, I would die first."

"Do you really mean that Kate, that you would die protecting my Dad?"

"Alexis, my life without your Dads is an empty shell, Yes, he means more than life to me"

"Ok, you have my blessing, I know you don't love him***"

"Alexis, I do Love him, with all my heart, ** Kate interrupts, shocked the conversation had been going so well

"No Kate, you don't JUST love him, you are IN LOVE with him, and that's the difference," as she pulls a crying Kate in for a long hug.

"Kate, I promised Alexis she would have the floor tonight, I think you know just how important the women in my life are, I would like to begin to include you in that group.

We'll take it at your pace, as slow as you need, and Kate, We, Alexis, Mother and I will be with you for every session, every setback and every victory. Forgive us when we hurt you, but Kate, one thing that MUST happen, you have to TALK to me, no more running, I can't take that or any lies. Tell me the truth even if it hurts, Promise?

Alexis has her pinky finger in the middle of the table, and two more adult pinky fingers join as Kate replies, "I Pinky Swear to you both, no more lies, no more running,"

Alexis stands and pulls Kate up, "I need a hug before I go, and I'm sure I will be seeing you a lot", as she winks

"Thanks Alexis, have a good time, and I really mean it, I will do anything and everything so you, your Dad, or your Grams never hurt again, I do Love you all."

"Bye Dad, remember what you promised, see you later" and out the door she went,

Rick looked at the plates, the only one that had been touched was the empty one in front of Alexis place,

"You ready to get out of here? We can get the orders to go, and another milkshake for the road, if you want?"

"That sounds great Rick, your place or mine?"

"Where are you more comfortable at now"

"Would you mind mine, I know it's smaller and***"

"I would love to go to your place Kate, "he smiles at her,

She doesn't know what or why, but she cups his face gently, kisses him as she has never kissed anyone, and then without hesitation, "I'm in Love with you Richard Castle, my heart is yours Always"

"Oh, Kate if we weren't in public, but you'll never know how many times I have dreamed of that kiss, and I'm in Love with you as well Kate Beckett, my heart is yours Always"

The walk back to Kate's apartment could have been misinterpreted by others as two teenagers walking home. Arms wrapped around each other's waist, sharing one straw, and one shake and laughing, then stopping to kiss, then repeat.

When they finally make it though the doors and are on the couch, it suddenly dawns of Rick that Kate is aware of Jacinda, and must have questions, or hurt.

"Kate, as he gently stops her kiss, we have one more thing to talk about, Ja***"

"Jacinda Rick? Pulling out her phone she shows Rick the call log, and there is Jacinda's number, we talked, and although it hurt like hell to know that she shared parts of you that are mine now, she explained that I was always the one, and to be forgiving of you.

She explained how you defined loving one as opposed to being in love and her heart belonged to Ray, just as your heart belonged to me.

"She also threatened to come back and kick my ass if I ever broke it again, so if you don't mind, I would like to finish what I started."

"No obectio** as Kate's lips engulfed his, for a night, far overdue,"

There was a complete feeling of openness as Kate made love to, talked snuggled and allowed herself to be pampered the way Rick loved to treat his woman. She could get used to this and hoped she would for the rest of her life."

A/N I think we are calling this complete with this. I set out to change an ending of an episode that didn't resonate well with me or Norman, and the story took wings. I hope you enjoyed it, and I demonstrated that all of us react differently to a set of conditions, some good some not so. As for Jacinda, I like to think her good deeds earned her way back to her true love, I'll leave that for the reader to end as they please. Thank each and everyone for your reads, comments, favorites, and follows. Hope this met your expectations and we kept the characters true for MilMar. Hope to see you on my next work. Still deciding on the topic.


	20. Chapter 20

Down for the Count **by Castlefan6**

Authors Note: This is my AU version of events immediately following the end scene of Countdown where Kate is in the arms of Josh watching Castle walk away after several near-death experiences. He believed she had almost confessed she loved him, but she lost consciousness one second too soon. This story is dedicated to Norman, hope it is close to what you wanted my friend. We both had severe anxiety when Beckett just watched as Castle walked away watching her in the arms of Dr. Motorcycle Boy.

I don't own Castle, I use the characters for amusement purposes only

 **Final Author Notes**

Some of the review continue to reference the cannon version of Castle as shown on TV. Once again, this was strictly my mind's vision of how the ending of this episode could have impacted our couple. Rick was hurt, Kate was hiding insecurities she felt even before her Mother's death, and that event served as her crutch, and excuse to treat people the way she did. I always had a problem with her put downs of Rick, even caught in lies, the scripts seemed to justify them for her.

I wrote this from a man's perspective, and yes Rick was not the innocent one either, any girl who witnesses a love interest fall into bed with a Hollywood starlet, is going to say, Whoa not for me, and seek someone more in line with her value systems. I think there were a great deal of opportunities to build the sword play as Stana put it in an interview, but in a more positive manner for both throughout the entire series.

Also, although Jacinda played a pivotal role in this story, it was still about Caskett, I'm a shipper, have been since the series started and don't play the game of one against the other. I could have written a dozen sequels about Jacinda, but for now let's just assume her and Ray are happy catching up and will live the life they desire.

There is plenty of material for a Sequel to this story, if the interest is there. I thought about following Jacinda and her new (old) love, as well as following up with Rick's departure from the precinct, would Kate follow him, or would something happen to bring him back to the fold? If people want a sequel we can certainly plan on doing it. I am currently starting a new story, and might possibly take over another abandoned story, time will tell on that.

I laughed at some of the reviews that I needed Google Translate to understand, Having been called names in several languages, I guess I have made it on the list of those International fans who thought this was a Beckett Bashing story. It was in my mind a means to get them together, on a playing field without the lies or insecurities, and start a relationship based on trust, communication and love. Yes, there is definitely a difference between Loving someone, and Being in love, took me a while to figure it out, but when you do, then the little things about your partner that used to piss you off, are accepted because if they are happy, you are.

Just my thoughts,

Thanks for reading

Tim


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